(no subject)
so basically, i'm over it. i'm over trying to make things ok with what i have here in fresno. i'm not happy and i'm not going to be happy. i'm becoming increasingly sick and tired with the people/places/things i once thought so important to me. from now on i'm spending all of my time on saving money so i can leave. i'm sorry but i can't stay. and in the long run i'm not even that sorry, at all. and i'm feeling more and more like casey's the only one in fresno that cares and even sometimes i feel like she'd rather be somewhere else too. and if thats true or not i really don't know but i'll stand by what i feel in my stomach. i'm tired of feeling left out or hurt because no one calls, and, actually i don't call either so it doesn't even matter.
i don't feel like i need to really see people, anyways. the ones that want to be a part of my life will always find that way, i'm confident in that.
i'm rapidly losing trust in those who said they would be there for me forever, that i was a part of them indefinatly. and i swear to you it hurts less and less everyday.
if it has to be this constant cyle of sleep.work.sleep.work, i can tough it out because i'm gonna go somewhere.
and i'm through with this livejournal, too. this one is so lame. i'm not this anymore. i don't need you validation, i don't need to post pictures of myself when i'm feeling ugly so you can tell me how pretty i really am. i don't need much anymore.
a bed.
a stereo that works.
a few friends i can trust. (casey. diana. robert.)
my job.
and a really good pair of jeans.
i'll find my way through. and if somehow i make it back to you, well then...we'll see.
and you can find me here, when i feel like it.
___theclap EDIT. yeah i fucked him. everything you ever heard was true. i sucked him off and made him cum like he hadn't ever before. we fucked in your bed too. all those dudes, they tell the truth. those stories about how i moan and scream out names, totally true. the way i beg for more and bite and scratch. they love it like that. drop my name. tell them about us and how we fucked dirty. do it. come on. fucking do it. spread my name like a plague. FUCK YOU FOR FUCKING ME YOU ASSHOLE. i don't need your shit in my life.