i still am-
『#000. Prologue』
these feelings won't last a lifetime
Fandom; Super Junior (슈퍼주니어)
Paring; Kibum (기범) & Donghae (동해)
Notes of Interest; First Person. Alternate Universe.
A light messenger bag hanged from my shoulder, as I held the suitcase behind me. Tapping my feet to the bustling sounds of moving crowds and omnipresent voices, I realized I had more than enough time to reminiscent about my life. To be frank, I found that a weird thing to do; there wasn’t much about my life to reminiscent at all. I had only lived an odd twenty-one years. I wasn’t a pop sensation or an aspiring actor (well, in this lifetime) so I didn’t have much of an impact on the world. I went to a local university in the outskirts of Seoul. I was (and still is) a small-time photographer that wanted to breakthrough of the same routine. And to be honest, I really had no idea what I wanted out of life.
Pretty pathetic, aren’t I?
And self, that was a rhetorical question.
From the corner of my eye a young couple left their seats and being the stealth predator that I was, took their place. My messenger bag then placed to the empty seat beside me. It wasn’t exactly a friend of mine, but for the time being it was a suitable replacement. Turning my head, I faced the large, glass window which reminded me of a lot of things. With its reflective attributes and picturesque view of blue skies and long, cotton-candy white clouds, I was remind about the time he impassively informed me that “If you jump high enough, and I mean really high; you’ll reach the stars in outer space; I should know I did it once.”
I jokingly replied “Did you happen to hit your head while you were jumping?”
A bad move on my part, as it elicited in both a deadly “Oi, Kibum; who said you could be skeptical?” and a couple of punches on the arm.
Despite the bruises I received afterwards, I always questioned myself as to why I never left him. Why I never left his temperamental mood swings behind. Why I never stopped myself to tell him to ‘grow up’ and to walk away (in the pouring rain, in the blazing sun, on the rocky streets, on the smooth grass). Why I thought that if I spent more time with him he’d change his violent ways for me. But now, I wonder what would have happen if I never met him; maybe I could have had a happier and normal life. Maybe I could have accomplished everything and so much more-
But despite the trespassing thoughts, it was hard to imagine my life without him.
✩》