Fic: Stages 4/12
Title: Stages 4/12
Author: white_cross_b
Type: Fiction
Characters: Yohji & Aya
Rating: R
Beta:
whymzycal
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
CONFRONTATION
Aya had changed the most during their time apart, something that Yohji noticed with great interest. Omi had kept in touch from time to time with e-mails asking what Yohji thought of local criminals currently in the news. Yohji didn't think much about them at all. It was no longer his job to, and he told Omi as much with his lack of response. He was doing PI work again, easy stuff like following cheating husbands, doing background checks on future sons-in-law, and finding a teenager who had run away from home. Well, okay, so she went back home on her own, but Yohji had still put in hours on the job and billed it as such. Mostly, though, he lounged around, went out to the newest, trendiest clubs, and went through his usual assortment of women.
Then he fucked Neu.
It was jarring in an "I-can't-believe-I-just-fucked-the-enemy" kind of way. It also brought reality crashing down: he wasn't walking away from Weiß that easily. None of them were, it turned out. One by one, they all turned up in the basement of the Koneko. Everything was basically as they’d left it during the brief reign of Takatori, when they had been hunted down as criminals. The place had been trashed and riddled with bullet holes, and even now Yohji could smell the scent of rotting vegetation from flowers long dead.
Aya seemed different from the start. Omi and Ken were the same; Omi had been going to school, and Ken had been teaching kids soccer, but Aya... he was tanned and toned in a way he hadn't been before, from what could only be physical labor out in the sun. He was even less talkative than before, and it took the arrival of the new Kritiker higher-ups before Aya finally let out his secret that his sister was missing. From there, things did not go as Yohji had imagined. After their first mission, when they failed to find his sister among those tied to the wooden crosses, Aya was gone again, and it wasn't until the death of that guy from Kritiker that Aya rejoined the group once again for good.
It was almost as if they had all never been apart. Almost.
Yohji tapped the new pack of cigarettes against his palm a few times before pulling the cellophane string. He slid a cigarette out, placing it lazily between his lips as he fished his Zippo out of his pocket and lit up, his breath catching for a moment when he saw Aya leaning against a tree near the entrance of the park. Curiosity piqued, he shoved the lighter and pack of cigarettes in his pocket and strolled over, watching as Aya tested the air with a paper airplane a few times before releasing it into the afternoon breeze. "What is it with paper airplanes lately?" Yohji drawled, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of his pants and leaning back against the tree, side-by-side with his teammate. "First that Kritiker guy, what's-his-name, and now you. Is this a new fad that I'm missing out on?"
Aya said nothing for several minutes. Yohji smoked his cigarette down to the butt, then ground it out underneath the heel of his boot, annoyed by the uncomfortable silence. He was about to turn and leave when Aya startled him by finally speaking. "Botan."
"Eh?" Yohji tilted his head in confusion.
Aya stared straight ahead, not bothering to turn and face Yohji. "His name was Botan."
Yohji snorted. "I'm surprised you even bothered to find that out. You're not exactly..." Yohji's voice trailed off. "Oh. You slept together, didn't you?"
Aya said nothing.
Yohji felt an uncomfortable twisting in his gut that both surprised him and made him angry. Why should he give a fuck who Aya slept with? It didn't matter to him one way or the other who fucked Aya. Not that he imagined that Aya was the uke, because he didn't think about it at all one way or the other. Whatever. Even if he didn't want to think about Aya's sex life, he did happen to care about him as a teammate, and Aya was probably hurting - not that he'd ever admit to it.
Realizing he should probably say something comforting allowed him to push those thoughts aside, so it was with no small amount of relief that Yohji finally muttered, "I'm sorry," almost under his breath. Hell, Yohji knew what it was like to lose someone you were involved with, so there was genuine sympathy on his part for what Aya should be going through, but judging from Aya's silence, he didn't want to talk about it. That was fine. Yohji didn't want to talk about it either.
"So, is this the way it's going to be from now on then?" he finally asked as he pulled out another cigarette and lit it, not only because he was craving it, but because it also gave his hands something to do while Aya was being uncommunicative.
Aya looked up at Yohji, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "How what is going to be?" he asked.
"This," Yohji said, gesturing between the two of them with his cigarette.
Yohji could almost imagine Aya growling when he finally responded. "What did you want me to do, pine away for you forever? Fuck you, Yohji."
"You asshole," Yohji said, his own voice taking on an unmistakably hard edge. "That's not what I meant. You can fuck a hundred Botans for all I care. This isn't about your sex life, it's about your sister." Aya had the gall to look surprised. "Yeah, that's right, your sister. You told me once that one of the reasons you were interested in me was because if something happened to you, you knew that I'd take care of her. Did you suddenly think that I wouldn't help you find her when she got kidnapped, that Weiß as a team wouldn't back you up? Is that why you didn't come back?" Yohji was getting angrier the more he spoke, and the angrier he got, the closer he got, until he had Aya backed up against the tree. "Do you think that little of me?" he asked.
Aya looked Yohji directly in the eye when he answered. "I didn't think about you at all."
Yohji forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow, even to his own ears. "I should have known. You're just like me after all."
***
There was a crack in the ceiling that looked like a dog, or quite possibly it was a cow, but he couldn't be sure. Yohji had stared at it for three days straight without deciding one way or another because it was too hard of a decision to make. These were his more lucid moments. The rest were kaleidoscope images of betrayal and death in all their fascinating colors.
They all carried the crosses of those they'd killed, but Yohji's burden was now the heaviest of them all by far. She'd fought him as the wire wrapped around her neck, just as they all did once he'd strung them up. But he'd felt Neu on his back as she had struggled, becoming heavier and heavier as the life slipped out of her. Until she was literally dead weight. It was intimate and grotesque, and Yohji's soul just couldn't scream enough.
Omi came by from time to time, as did Ken, but it was almost as though Yohji couldn't see them, like they were behind a veil that prevented them from being seen and heard. But for as hazy as his perception was, Aya's missing presence was sharp and cutting. Surely Yohji should have bled to death by now. He couldn't blame Aya; after all, Yohji had betrayed him in the end. For some reason he couldn't understand, it had been more than just wanting Neu to be Asuka. He'd felt no small amount of satisfaction at dangling something that Aya wanted over his head. He’d wanted Aya to hurt as much as he himself had over Aya's reluctance to once again be a part of Weiß. He regretted it now, like everything else: it was just one more thing added to the burden of his sorry life.
When he finally slept, he dreamed of Neu struggling in his wire - only when he finally saw her face, it wasn't Neu at all but Aya once again, his hair the same color as his blood. Yohji woke, fumbling with the lock on his window until it suddenly gave. He was hit with a blast of cool air as he shoved the pane upward, taking in deep breaths of fresh air. A few moments later and he was out on the fire escape in the dark, the serrated edges of the steel grate cutting into his bare feet. He felt nothing.
"So, you're alive."
Startled, Yohji reached for his watch without thinking. But wasn't on his wrist - it was back in his room, most likely somewhere on the floor where he'd thrown it days ago. He hadn't tended to it as he always did after a mission. It was probably empty, but then, so was he.
"Aya," Yohji said as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the dark outside. He could see Aya silhouetted against the sky, long and lean. Still alive? Yeah, Yohji was still breathing, but did that make him alive? Not particularly. Especially after...
Yohji moved to stand mere inches from Aya. Even in the dark he could see Aya's eyes, sharp with their impossible color, studying Yohji intently. "Do it, Aya," Yohji urged. "Put your hands on my throat and squeeze. You know you want to do it. Hell, I want you to do it." It would be a relief, actually, to stop himself from thinking, from feeling anymore. And wasn't that what was waiting for them all in the end anyway? Better a friend - no, a teammate - than someone who didn't know him, to whom his death would be meaningless. Let Aya get satisfaction from it; no one else would.
"Go to bed, Yohji," was all Aya replied. Yohji was not to be deterred.
"Don't you want to?" he all but begged. "I betrayed Kritiker, I betrayed Weiß, and most of all, I betrayed you. I don't deserve to live, or has Kritiker not given the order yet?"
"Kritiker doesn't want you dead, and neither do I," Aya said softly. It was a tone Yohji had never heard before, not from Aya.
"Why?" Yohji asked helplessly, his life settling heavily around him once again now that he was denied his escape from it.
"I need you to help me get back my sister," Aya said. "You promised me."
Yohji said nothing for several long moments, wishing desperately for a cigarette, but like his watch, they were back in his apartment. Those few steps seemed so far, and for whatever reason he couldn't quite seem to tear himself away from Aya. "Kiss me, Aya," he said, suddenly desperate, his voice raw. "I want to feel something that's not pain and death."
Yohji never would have believed it could happen, or that he'd even want it to, but a second later Aya's lips were on his, warm and firm, and without even thinking, Yohji opened up to him, his tongue eagerly seeking out Aya's. He pressed forward, sandwiching Aya between his own body and the metal steps as his hands found the warm, soft skin of Aya's back.
"Stop," Aya said suddenly, pulling his mouth away from Yohji's, his lips wet and glistening in the pale moonlight. Yohji leaned forward again but was stopped by Aya's hand firmly pushing him backward. "I'm not going to be your experimental phase," Aya said, "and I won't be your science project."
That was fair, Yohji decided. Obviously he was seriously fucked up if he was suddenly kissing Aya out on the fire escape of their building in the middle of the night. One thing had changed, though, in the space of a minute. For the first time in days he felt like his mind was clear and focused. Yohji took a deep breath, ready to make things right with Aya and to stop feeling sorry for himself. "All right then. Let's find your sister."
Author: white_cross_b
Type: Fiction
Characters: Yohji & Aya
Rating: R
Beta:
whymzycal
Previous Chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
CONFRONTATION
Aya had changed the most during their time apart, something that Yohji noticed with great interest. Omi had kept in touch from time to time with e-mails asking what Yohji thought of local criminals currently in the news. Yohji didn't think much about them at all. It was no longer his job to, and he told Omi as much with his lack of response. He was doing PI work again, easy stuff like following cheating husbands, doing background checks on future sons-in-law, and finding a teenager who had run away from home. Well, okay, so she went back home on her own, but Yohji had still put in hours on the job and billed it as such. Mostly, though, he lounged around, went out to the newest, trendiest clubs, and went through his usual assortment of women.
Then he fucked Neu.
It was jarring in an "I-can't-believe-I-just-fucked-the-enemy" kind of way. It also brought reality crashing down: he wasn't walking away from Weiß that easily. None of them were, it turned out. One by one, they all turned up in the basement of the Koneko. Everything was basically as they’d left it during the brief reign of Takatori, when they had been hunted down as criminals. The place had been trashed and riddled with bullet holes, and even now Yohji could smell the scent of rotting vegetation from flowers long dead.
Aya seemed different from the start. Omi and Ken were the same; Omi had been going to school, and Ken had been teaching kids soccer, but Aya... he was tanned and toned in a way he hadn't been before, from what could only be physical labor out in the sun. He was even less talkative than before, and it took the arrival of the new Kritiker higher-ups before Aya finally let out his secret that his sister was missing. From there, things did not go as Yohji had imagined. After their first mission, when they failed to find his sister among those tied to the wooden crosses, Aya was gone again, and it wasn't until the death of that guy from Kritiker that Aya rejoined the group once again for good.
It was almost as if they had all never been apart. Almost.
Yohji tapped the new pack of cigarettes against his palm a few times before pulling the cellophane string. He slid a cigarette out, placing it lazily between his lips as he fished his Zippo out of his pocket and lit up, his breath catching for a moment when he saw Aya leaning against a tree near the entrance of the park. Curiosity piqued, he shoved the lighter and pack of cigarettes in his pocket and strolled over, watching as Aya tested the air with a paper airplane a few times before releasing it into the afternoon breeze. "What is it with paper airplanes lately?" Yohji drawled, hooking his thumbs into the belt loops of his pants and leaning back against the tree, side-by-side with his teammate. "First that Kritiker guy, what's-his-name, and now you. Is this a new fad that I'm missing out on?"
Aya said nothing for several minutes. Yohji smoked his cigarette down to the butt, then ground it out underneath the heel of his boot, annoyed by the uncomfortable silence. He was about to turn and leave when Aya startled him by finally speaking. "Botan."
"Eh?" Yohji tilted his head in confusion.
Aya stared straight ahead, not bothering to turn and face Yohji. "His name was Botan."
Yohji snorted. "I'm surprised you even bothered to find that out. You're not exactly..." Yohji's voice trailed off. "Oh. You slept together, didn't you?"
Aya said nothing.
Yohji felt an uncomfortable twisting in his gut that both surprised him and made him angry. Why should he give a fuck who Aya slept with? It didn't matter to him one way or the other who fucked Aya. Not that he imagined that Aya was the uke, because he didn't think about it at all one way or the other. Whatever. Even if he didn't want to think about Aya's sex life, he did happen to care about him as a teammate, and Aya was probably hurting - not that he'd ever admit to it.
Realizing he should probably say something comforting allowed him to push those thoughts aside, so it was with no small amount of relief that Yohji finally muttered, "I'm sorry," almost under his breath. Hell, Yohji knew what it was like to lose someone you were involved with, so there was genuine sympathy on his part for what Aya should be going through, but judging from Aya's silence, he didn't want to talk about it. That was fine. Yohji didn't want to talk about it either.
"So, is this the way it's going to be from now on then?" he finally asked as he pulled out another cigarette and lit it, not only because he was craving it, but because it also gave his hands something to do while Aya was being uncommunicative.
Aya looked up at Yohji, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "How what is going to be?" he asked.
"This," Yohji said, gesturing between the two of them with his cigarette.
Yohji could almost imagine Aya growling when he finally responded. "What did you want me to do, pine away for you forever? Fuck you, Yohji."
"You asshole," Yohji said, his own voice taking on an unmistakably hard edge. "That's not what I meant. You can fuck a hundred Botans for all I care. This isn't about your sex life, it's about your sister." Aya had the gall to look surprised. "Yeah, that's right, your sister. You told me once that one of the reasons you were interested in me was because if something happened to you, you knew that I'd take care of her. Did you suddenly think that I wouldn't help you find her when she got kidnapped, that Weiß as a team wouldn't back you up? Is that why you didn't come back?" Yohji was getting angrier the more he spoke, and the angrier he got, the closer he got, until he had Aya backed up against the tree. "Do you think that little of me?" he asked.
Aya looked Yohji directly in the eye when he answered. "I didn't think about you at all."
Yohji forced a laugh, but it sounded hollow, even to his own ears. "I should have known. You're just like me after all."
***
There was a crack in the ceiling that looked like a dog, or quite possibly it was a cow, but he couldn't be sure. Yohji had stared at it for three days straight without deciding one way or another because it was too hard of a decision to make. These were his more lucid moments. The rest were kaleidoscope images of betrayal and death in all their fascinating colors.
They all carried the crosses of those they'd killed, but Yohji's burden was now the heaviest of them all by far. She'd fought him as the wire wrapped around her neck, just as they all did once he'd strung them up. But he'd felt Neu on his back as she had struggled, becoming heavier and heavier as the life slipped out of her. Until she was literally dead weight. It was intimate and grotesque, and Yohji's soul just couldn't scream enough.
Omi came by from time to time, as did Ken, but it was almost as though Yohji couldn't see them, like they were behind a veil that prevented them from being seen and heard. But for as hazy as his perception was, Aya's missing presence was sharp and cutting. Surely Yohji should have bled to death by now. He couldn't blame Aya; after all, Yohji had betrayed him in the end. For some reason he couldn't understand, it had been more than just wanting Neu to be Asuka. He'd felt no small amount of satisfaction at dangling something that Aya wanted over his head. He’d wanted Aya to hurt as much as he himself had over Aya's reluctance to once again be a part of Weiß. He regretted it now, like everything else: it was just one more thing added to the burden of his sorry life.
When he finally slept, he dreamed of Neu struggling in his wire - only when he finally saw her face, it wasn't Neu at all but Aya once again, his hair the same color as his blood. Yohji woke, fumbling with the lock on his window until it suddenly gave. He was hit with a blast of cool air as he shoved the pane upward, taking in deep breaths of fresh air. A few moments later and he was out on the fire escape in the dark, the serrated edges of the steel grate cutting into his bare feet. He felt nothing.
"So, you're alive."
Startled, Yohji reached for his watch without thinking. But wasn't on his wrist - it was back in his room, most likely somewhere on the floor where he'd thrown it days ago. He hadn't tended to it as he always did after a mission. It was probably empty, but then, so was he.
"Aya," Yohji said as soon as his eyes had adjusted to the dark outside. He could see Aya silhouetted against the sky, long and lean. Still alive? Yeah, Yohji was still breathing, but did that make him alive? Not particularly. Especially after...
Yohji moved to stand mere inches from Aya. Even in the dark he could see Aya's eyes, sharp with their impossible color, studying Yohji intently. "Do it, Aya," Yohji urged. "Put your hands on my throat and squeeze. You know you want to do it. Hell, I want you to do it." It would be a relief, actually, to stop himself from thinking, from feeling anymore. And wasn't that what was waiting for them all in the end anyway? Better a friend - no, a teammate - than someone who didn't know him, to whom his death would be meaningless. Let Aya get satisfaction from it; no one else would.
"Go to bed, Yohji," was all Aya replied. Yohji was not to be deterred.
"Don't you want to?" he all but begged. "I betrayed Kritiker, I betrayed Weiß, and most of all, I betrayed you. I don't deserve to live, or has Kritiker not given the order yet?"
"Kritiker doesn't want you dead, and neither do I," Aya said softly. It was a tone Yohji had never heard before, not from Aya.
"Why?" Yohji asked helplessly, his life settling heavily around him once again now that he was denied his escape from it.
"I need you to help me get back my sister," Aya said. "You promised me."
Yohji said nothing for several long moments, wishing desperately for a cigarette, but like his watch, they were back in his apartment. Those few steps seemed so far, and for whatever reason he couldn't quite seem to tear himself away from Aya. "Kiss me, Aya," he said, suddenly desperate, his voice raw. "I want to feel something that's not pain and death."
Yohji never would have believed it could happen, or that he'd even want it to, but a second later Aya's lips were on his, warm and firm, and without even thinking, Yohji opened up to him, his tongue eagerly seeking out Aya's. He pressed forward, sandwiching Aya between his own body and the metal steps as his hands found the warm, soft skin of Aya's back.
"Stop," Aya said suddenly, pulling his mouth away from Yohji's, his lips wet and glistening in the pale moonlight. Yohji leaned forward again but was stopped by Aya's hand firmly pushing him backward. "I'm not going to be your experimental phase," Aya said, "and I won't be your science project."
That was fair, Yohji decided. Obviously he was seriously fucked up if he was suddenly kissing Aya out on the fire escape of their building in the middle of the night. One thing had changed, though, in the space of a minute. For the first time in days he felt like his mind was clear and focused. Yohji took a deep breath, ready to make things right with Aya and to stop feeling sorry for himself. "All right then. Let's find your sister."