So I fucking chickened out a way long while ago.
Rather, there were too many things to hold onto.
But yes, once again, here I go plotting the schematics of my destruction.
You're all tired of it, my friends, my lovers, my acquaintances, my family. I'm tired of it too.
Don't get me wrong. Of course, I say that a lot. By now everyone knows the problem is me and by now everyone has heard that I'm a stupid shit who doesn't deserve life and all that bull.
This is my new stigma.
Keep being the emo or just get it the fuck over with?
I've been a suicidal fuckwit for so long it's all I am and the fact that I'm still here is getting sickening.
I've stained myself blood-red. The snow-white song inside of me is tarnished, and in a ring of white flowers, the red rose that kisses it is what catches the eye.
Kiss of death?
I'd rather have a tortured life for a short while than live in a perfect place where there is no one to love, losing the shadows that make my soul what it is, not knowing desire and not knowing the relief of gain.
In other words, I'd rather not have heaven.
I'd rather have two years of pain loving the ones I love than an eternity alone, feeling nothing.
But yes, once again, here I go plotting the schematics of my destruction.
You're all tired of it, my friends, my lovers, my acquaintances, my family. I'm tired of it too.
Don't get me wrong. Of course, I say that a lot. By now everyone knows the problem is me and by now everyone has heard that I'm a stupid shit who doesn't deserve life and all that bull.
This is my new stigma.
Keep being the emo or just get it the fuck over with?
I've been a suicidal fuckwit for so long it's all I am and the fact that I'm still here is getting sickening.
I've stained myself blood-red. The snow-white song inside of me is tarnished, and in a ring of white flowers, the red rose that kisses it is what catches the eye.
Kiss of death?
I'd rather have a tortured life for a short while than live in a perfect place where there is no one to love, losing the shadows that make my soul what it is, not knowing desire and not knowing the relief of gain.
In other words, I'd rather not have heaven.
I'd rather have two years of pain loving the ones I love than an eternity alone, feeling nothing.