So we were watching Aladdin the other night…
... because this is the kind of wild night one has in college, apparently, with beanbags and lots of sleepy people and Disney. Possibly this will change when the undergrads turn up so it isn’t just a bunch of grad students around the place. BUT.
The genie turned up. And he was being all hyperactive and sassy and LOOK AT HOW I CAN PLAY WITH REALITY FOR THE FUN OF IT and he felt really familiar
(and not just because I used to be able to recite/sing my way through the whole film with my little sister)
and he was doing this
and this

and this
and then - “Can your friends go POOF, and lookee here!” - and there were all the scantily clad dancing girls and he was beaming at them
and it clicked
The genie is Gabriel. Gabriel is the genie. Gabriel has been locked in that lamp for years and he is bored and LOOK AT DEAN-ALADDIN THEY CAN HAVE A WILD TIME TOGETHER AND IT’LL BE GREAT RIGHT
I MEAN SURE, MASTER AND ALL THAT, AND HE’LL JUST USE ME AND THROW ME AWAY LIKE EVERYONE ALWAYS DOES BUT AT LEAST IT’LL BE KIND OF FUN
also my power is kind of scary and I try not to think about it EXCEPT TO HAVE FUN because otherwise I have to think of all the things my power has done OH HEY LOOK I CAN MAKE MY HANDS JUGGLE MYSELF CAN YOUR FRIENDS DO THAT
and then when he realises YAY WE CAN BE BROS AT LEAST FOR A LITTLE WHILE when Aladdin promises to set him free
not really believing it but happy to go along with it on the off chance and pretend to himself so he can have more fun while it lasts
Oh, and did I mention Dean/Aladdin’s Lovable Rascal grin thinly masking the I’m Not Worth Anything Unless I’m Playing A Role issues? Also the drive to get rich and make a stable life - well, we know who he'd be doing that for.

No but really.
Only WHO WOULD CASTIEL BE WOULD HE HAVE TO BE THE CARPET the grouchy carpet with very expressive tassels? And Sam would have to be Abu but he would not actually be a monkey he would be the little brother that Dean gets up to pickpocket shenanigans with but never lets in on the heavy stuff like GOING INTO THE CAVE OF WONDERS SAMMY HOW THE HELL DID YOU FOLLOW ME IN HERE I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT ONCE CREEPY OLD DUDE LET US OUT OF THE DUNGEONS
only that begs the question of who Jafar would be
but
I think that would have to be a major change.
I think it would’t be Old Stereotypical Evil Male Person Who Can Conveniently Be Disposed Of Without Remorse At The End. I think it would be Bela.
No, but think about it. Elegant and sophisticated woman, fought her way in a terrifying but very well put-together way to the top with a charming smile despite all those stuffy old guys who quietly tried to block her out because a woman shouldn’t be in a position to influence the Sultan and no one’s really sure exactly how she did it because there should be bodies, right? Or stories, at least? Or someone that she threatened really convincingly who could at least say ‘this is what she implied she had up her sleeve’?
It doesn’t hurt that she is genuinely the best ever at running the palace’s finances, of course. She’s so much better at it than anyone ever has been before that no one notices if she skims extras for herself. After all, everyone else always did that too.
But of course she collects Things. And knowledge of Things. Beautiful things that can be swapped for influence and power, of course; and then some things with power to them. Just a bit, at first - a slight enhancement to charm in one crucial conversation to leave her interlocutor beaming tipsily and agreeing to just one minor detail that seems unimportant at the time but can be really used later, that sort of thing.
And she keeps collecting them - both for profit/trade and for her own protection - because she needs them, you never know when they might come in handy, and she needs to stockpile, the more the safer, because there is something, something in her past that she needs protection from, and it’s getting closer and closer and eventually the search for power of a not-quite-natural kind becomes an end in itself, because the higher you are and the stronger you are the more unassailable, right?
Right?
And the lamp - when she hears that rumour (because of course she is wired into all rumours relating to mystical and powerful objects) - that would solve everything. That would be her ultimate failsafe.
But as the plot progresses, she gets more and more obsessive as she gets backed into a corner - and therefore more and more dangerous. Becoming “the most powerful sorcerer in the world” was never part of the original plan, but she’s driven to it. She has no choice. If she doesn’t do it - do that and more - they’ll get her. They’ll come for her. Everything’s crumbling around her by then and she needs it all.
And she deserves it, too. It’s her chance.
Dean/Aladdin may be a thief, but Bela is a great thief.
But they can, to a certain extent, understand each other. Which is all the more reason to get rid of him.
(Though he does brush up well in that prince outfit, so she might consider angrysex first.)