First of all I would like to state that im going to make it a point to not use any profanity or juvenile name-calling. I figure that maybe..just maybe if I write this like a mature adult, it will be read and taken in with that respect. (But I have a funny feeling that it won't be.) I am replying, because I am involved in this situation. Just by being your best friend, Gem, I am involved. I might not be involved with the intimate decisions regarding Ben or yours and Ben's fathers relationship (or lack thereof), but by being your friend and caring for Ben..I am ivolved. And some people don't understand this concept of being involved by association. Just by being Ben's father's girlfriend, you too are involved in this situation. However this notion does not put any blame of anything on you. It just simply means that you are a part of it. By being a part of Justin's life you are a part of the situation. Hopefully that was clear. Now..I understand that you are not sitting over there telling Justin not to go watch his son, but the drift is created when Justin chooses to be with you over his son. Now if this were the case only occasionaly..then it wouldn't be a big deal. Of course Justin can't be expected to be with his son all day and all night..of course he wants time to spend with his girlfriend and friends..its only fair. well it would be only fair if Gem had the same option. Yes Gem chose to have a baby when she decided to have sex with Justin, but people tend to forget that humans are not asexual. It takes 2 of us to reproduce. Justin chose to have a baby when he decided to have sex with Gem. Therefore the responsibility is split 50/50. Just because Justin didn't have the burden of carrying a baby for 9 months doesn't mean he doesn't still have 50% of the responsibility. You are a woman..so I know you can undersand that. I know Justin is an adult, but you mean to say that after a year and a half of being with someone..you dont make decisions together? I have a hard time beleiving that. Don't you want him to have a good relationship with his son? Shouldn't you, being the loving girlfriend, help guide him to making better decisions?? I certainly dont think you are plotting against Gem and Ben, but you have to understand that just by being the one that Justin chooses to be with over his own son..you are contributing to the ever increasing gap between them. Justin is 22 and legally an adult. You are right to say that he makes his own decisions. But I think we can all tell by the deciscions Justin has made in the past that he is still very much adolescent and influenced by his friends. Yep..I am throwing that out there..peer pressure. Although you and his friends are not physically forcing Justin to make certain decisions, you must keep in mind that you and his friends do effect them.
Gem, I just want you to know that I don't want you to do anymore growing up at the moment. You have gone through so much more in your 19 years of life than most people do in their entirety. You are so much older than 19 at heart and that is hard to deal with. You have a son and you are mature enough to put your youth aside to raise him, like any good young parent would do. I wish I could say the same for his father. I am sorry that you are forced to have people in your life that you could do without. You would be better off, but that is not how it works. They are involved whether they or you want them to be or not. And it sucks.
umm when I got cheated on and a baby was produced.. I obviously immediately broke up with him. When I decided to stay with him and deal with this situation… I did not decide to start coaching Justin on his parenting skills or to try and maintain the relationship between him and his baby’s mother. I’m sorry I feel absolutely NO responsibility whatsoever about this. NONE. Sure friends and significant others have an affect on eachother… but no Justin does not follow his friends trends.. he never does anything just because they do, he usually actually disagrees with them and lets them know.. he’s 22, not 16 and he is very strong minded if you don’t remember, he believes what he believes and does what he wants, not because of others. And as far as I know, the reason he’s not taking care of his child right now is because she won’t allow it since he didn’t accept her less than 24hr notice on taking care of him last week when he was taking care of ben both the day before and after.
sally, get the fuck over this giving him short notice shit he has done it to me. and coming to MY house, high, smelling like weed is not ok. and justin is sooo passive its pathetic. he begs sally. what kind of 'adult' does that. a pathetic one, and you think i have youre number? please.
I'm over any and all of your and justins' problems with your child. now get over bringing ME into ANY of it. AT ALL. Your pathetic because your stuck with this pathetic father for your child for the rest of your life! YOUR pathetic because you write blogs that could be fucking copied to the T and used for the millions of young mothers who chose a great dad for their child just like you. that sounds cool and all, but bitch you left me two voicemails last year, so shut the fuck up.
well lets see, lets use some stuff you have written for all the pathetic people that have had an abortion. and dont sit there and say you havent had any input in my childs upbringing. remember when you told justin that having an abortion 'wasnt that bad' i think that is gettin involved. tell justin happy birthday, and since ive seem to be talking to you more than him, that i just need to know when were going to court. thanks honey!
Fool I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I don't know what you mean about me giving advice to Justin so things would have gone smoother, but if you mean with you and/or your son, that is not my issue, it's yours, so like I've said leave me out of everything that doesn't concern me. the only reason I responded to your cry for attention was because I don't appreciate you blaming ANYTHING on me, or pointing any fingers towards me, especially publicly. I live my life and make my decisions, they honestly don't affect you. I have no place in your problems. I would never ever discourage Justin from being with his son. EVER. So please refrain from having my name come out of your mouth or posting public shit pertaining to me. I don't want to discuss you and the father of your child's relationship, that's his place. And please stop referring to my relationship with Justin, that's really none of your business. why the fuck do you care so much to keep bringing it up? You haven't even responded to anything intelligent you just want to keep bringing up that Justin cheated on me. well I found that out almost a year ago... I know. And I don't mean that its okay for him to go to your house reeking of pot, or to call at the last minute and bail, but I simply am not involved in the situation.. so I simply don't care. I don't think it's okay for him not to see his son, but that's between you twooo!!! NOT MEEEEEEE. get it??? I understand that you had a child, and when I found out you were pregnant my world turned upside down, and I was irrational and scared. but that was a long time ago, I've since accepted it and I don't fucking wish you went the route I did, I'm happy for you! I just think you need to realize that you've chosen everything for your life that you're going through.. I chose not to go through with this situaion. so that's why I won't deal with it. Imagine how shitty it would be if after I decided to have a child with this guy for the rest of my life, he turns around and has a child with another woman at the same time! it would have been pretty fucking shitty situation. and imagine if I did have a baby! you don't know if you would still have kept your child, or maybe you do, but I think you would have had more to think about, so please stop judging me, I honestly don't judge you the way you think I do, I simply don't like you at all.
obviously i know what i have done. its just crazy to think you have nothing to do with it. dont you think i wouldn't want you to have anything to do with this? i wish you would be involved in encouraging justin to be a better person. why would anyone think its ok to sell weed? youre the only person that can get to him. ben being around obviously doesnt it takes me reminding him what he promised he would do and what i would do if he didn't. you make me out to be a monster but in reality im the only person that is HELPING ben. babies dont really need their fathers, they just need moms. and just bencause ben doesn't have his biological douche bag father doesn't mean there are not other male figures around him that are positive and that he actually goes to without crying.do people forget that? oh and let me rephrase that for you once again. maybe instead of giving me advice about how to be a mother, why dont you give your loving non-cheating drug selling addict of a boyfriend how to be a dad in the first place. better yet help him out on being a normal person. oh. and its not like you are not guilty of publicly talking shit. were both guilty, but the difference is..... the people that read what ive written dont know you.
Do you fucking read anything I say? How can you seriously not reply civilly to everything I just said to you? Did I say anything promoting the selling of weed? If you truly wanted ME to help YOU and YOUR son out by extending my overwhelming influence over Justin so that he is a fit father, (since you seem to think that’s my responsibility to your son) maybe you would be civil, but you’re an immature bitch that thinks talking down to ME, telling ME what I need to do to fix YOUR child’s life, is your place. Announcing it to the world because everyone owes you something, even the broad who stayed with justin after he got you pregnant. acting like I’m telling you how to be a mom??? Did I give you any advice on parenting??? Uhhh I actually DIDN’T. what the fuck are you reading??? And Is it actually my responsibility to make Justin be the dad you want him to be????? You make ME out to be a monster, when I have DONE NOTHING. You SHOULD be helping your child… you act like you’re a fucking saint because you take care of your child, well I would expect anyone to help their child, even if they are alone. and I didn’t say you weren’t the only one helping your child! or that you should be! Congrats! Wow babies don’t need father’s just mom’s…. that was fucking intelligent. I don’t even know where you keep coming up with more things to say, since I sincerely don’t want you to bring up any more points about you and Justins parenthood, or our relationship. Please stop coming up with more shit to repeat, my only point is for you to leave me out of your bullshit if you seriously haven't registered that. I don't care what your point of view or opinion on my role in this situation is, because the reality is that this is simply not my problem.
i hope you're satisfied. you're fighting an impossible situation. you've won sally. way to go. how good does it feel to tell someone else how to live? i bet great! i am happy its over. so really youre doing enough good. the fact is justin wont change, no one wants him to, and ben and i will be ecstatic if we never see him agian!
Now..I understand that you are not sitting over there telling Justin not to go watch his son, but the drift is created when Justin chooses to be with you over his son. Now if this were the case only occasionaly..then it wouldn't be a big deal. Of course Justin can't be expected to be with his son all day and all night..of course he wants time to spend with his girlfriend and friends..its only fair. well it would be only fair if Gem had the same option. Yes Gem chose to have a baby when she decided to have sex with Justin, but people tend to forget that humans are not asexual. It takes 2 of us to reproduce. Justin chose to have a baby when he decided to have sex with Gem. Therefore the responsibility is split 50/50. Just because Justin didn't have the burden of carrying a baby for 9 months doesn't mean he doesn't still have 50% of the responsibility. You are a woman..so I know you can undersand that. I know Justin is an adult, but you mean to say that after a year and a half of being with someone..you dont make decisions together? I have a hard time beleiving that. Don't you want him to have a good relationship with his son? Shouldn't you, being the loving girlfriend, help guide him to making better decisions?? I certainly dont think you are plotting against Gem and Ben, but you have to understand that just by being the one that Justin chooses to be with over his own son..you are contributing to the ever increasing gap between them.
Justin is 22 and legally an adult. You are right to say that he makes his own decisions. But I think we can all tell by the deciscions Justin has made in the past that he is still very much adolescent and influenced by his friends. Yep..I am throwing that out there..peer pressure. Although you and his friends are not physically forcing Justin to make certain decisions, you must keep in mind that you and his friends do effect them.
Gem, I just want you to know that I don't want you to do anymore growing up at the moment. You have gone through so much more in your 19 years of life than most people do in their entirety. You are so much older than 19 at heart and that is hard to deal with. You have a son and you are mature enough to put your youth aside to raise him, like any good young parent would do. I wish I could say the same for his father. I am sorry that you are forced to have people in your life that you could do without. You would be better off, but that is not how it works. They are involved whether they or you want them to be or not. And it sucks.
Reply
Reply
get the fuck over this giving him short notice shit he has done it to me.
and coming to MY house, high, smelling like weed is not ok.
and justin is sooo passive its pathetic.
he begs sally.
what kind of 'adult' does that.
a pathetic one,
and you think i have youre number? please.
Reply
Your pathetic because your stuck with this pathetic father for your child for the rest of your life!
YOUR pathetic because you write blogs that could be fucking copied to the T and used for the millions of young mothers who chose a great dad for their child just like you.
that sounds cool and all, but bitch you left me two voicemails last year, so shut the fuck up.
Reply
lets use some stuff you have written for all the pathetic people that have had an abortion.
and dont sit there and say you havent had any input in my childs upbringing.
remember when you told justin that having an abortion 'wasnt that bad'
i think that is gettin involved.
tell justin happy birthday,
and since ive seem to be talking to you more than him,
that i just need to know when were going to court.
thanks honey!
Reply
Reply
why do you feel its ok to give me advice but not justin?
maybe if you did,
things might have gone smoother....just maybe?
Reply
Reply
have fun.
please relay the message to your loving non-cheating boyfriend!
<3!
Reply
jesus i thought he was the only stupid person.
im wrong.
go figure!
Reply
Reply
So please refrain from having my name come out of your mouth or posting public shit pertaining to me.
I don't want to discuss you and the father of your child's relationship, that's his place.
And please stop referring to my relationship with Justin, that's really none of your business. why the fuck do you care so much to keep bringing it up? You haven't even responded to anything intelligent you just want to keep bringing up that Justin cheated on me. well I found that out almost a year ago... I know.
And I don't mean that its okay for him to go to your house reeking of pot, or to call at the last minute and bail, but I simply am not involved in the situation.. so I simply don't care. I don't think it's okay for him not to see his son, but that's between you twooo!!! NOT MEEEEEEE. get it???
I understand that you had a child, and when I found out you were pregnant my world turned upside down, and I was irrational and scared. but that was a long time ago, I've since accepted it and I don't fucking wish you went the route I did, I'm happy for you! I just think you need to realize that you've chosen everything for your life that you're going through.. I chose not to go through with this situaion. so that's why I won't deal with it. Imagine how shitty it would be if after I decided to have a child with this guy for the rest of my life, he turns around and has a child with another woman at the same time! it would have been pretty fucking shitty situation. and imagine if I did have a baby! you don't know if you would still have kept your child, or maybe you do, but I think you would have had more to think about, so please stop judging me, I honestly don't judge you the way you think I do, I simply don't like you at all.
Reply
its just crazy to think you have nothing to do with it.
dont you think i wouldn't want you to have anything to do with this?
i wish you would be involved in encouraging justin to be a better person.
why would anyone think its ok to sell weed?
youre the only person that can get to him.
ben being around obviously doesnt
it takes me reminding him what he promised he would do and what i would do if he didn't. you make me out to be a monster but in reality im the only person that is HELPING ben. babies dont really need their fathers, they just need moms. and just bencause ben doesn't have his biological douche bag father doesn't mean there are not other male figures around him that are positive and that he actually goes to without crying.do people forget that?
oh and let me rephrase that for you once again.
maybe instead of giving me advice about how to be a mother, why dont you give your loving non-cheating drug selling addict of a boyfriend how to be a dad in the first place. better yet help him out on being a normal person.
oh. and its not like you are not guilty of publicly talking shit. were both guilty, but the difference is..... the people that read what ive written dont know you.
Reply
How can you seriously not reply civilly to everything I just said to you?
Did I say anything promoting the selling of weed?
If you truly wanted ME to help YOU and YOUR son out by extending my overwhelming influence over Justin so that he is a fit father, (since you seem to think that’s my responsibility to your son) maybe you would be civil, but you’re an immature bitch that thinks talking down to ME, telling ME what I need to do to fix YOUR child’s life, is your place. Announcing it to the world because everyone owes you something, even the broad who stayed with justin after he got you pregnant. acting like I’m telling you how to be a mom??? Did I give you any advice on parenting??? Uhhh I actually DIDN’T. what the fuck are you reading???
And Is it actually my responsibility to make Justin be the dad you want him to be?????
You make ME out to be a monster, when I have DONE NOTHING.
You SHOULD be helping your child… you act like you’re a fucking saint because you take care of your child, well I would expect anyone to help their child, even if they are alone.
and I didn’t say you weren’t the only one helping your child!
or that you should be!
Congrats!
Wow babies don’t need father’s just mom’s…. that was fucking intelligent.
I don’t even know where you keep coming up with more things to say, since I sincerely don’t want you to bring up any more points about you and Justins parenthood, or our relationship.
Please stop coming up with more shit to repeat, my only point is for you to leave me out of your bullshit if you seriously haven't registered that.
I don't care what your point of view or opinion on my role in this situation is, because the reality is that this is simply not my problem.
Reply
Reply
good luck on life.
Reply
Leave a comment