(no subject)
The previous week had gave me an insight on certain things in life, and how perhaps, with perseverance, indeed comes great results.
Being /this/ close to breaking down and giving up almost everything that I had, just because at that moment, I believed that I deserved better.
I spend 2 days thinking what exactly I wanted. Someone who was strong, powerful, but a little selfish, or someone who cares, but is emotionally weak and needy? I pondered, for 4 days, until I came up with a conclusion today.
I need someone who is strong, maybe a little selfish, but benevolence don't go anyway sometimes. And I know I can count on him. I am very glad I didn't do anything foolish in the days of being emotionally unstable, when everyone wanted a piece of me. I concluded it was because I needed someone there for me during that day, when the rising stress from the final report and presentation took a toll on me, and he happened to be the one.
But today, when I realised my decision at the first place was selfish. I was selfish, because I only thought of myself. I totally disregarded your feelings, the hardship you are going through, and thought I was the one having it worse. In the end, I suppose we are both equal.
I could apologize to him and his relationship too. Because my selfishness had almost caused another heartbreak. But I don't blame myself or regret anything, because I still think you deserve better. Better than her, better than me.
I am contented now. One cannot ask for more in life, because God gives us what he knows we can do. I am thankful.
Being /this/ close to breaking down and giving up almost everything that I had, just because at that moment, I believed that I deserved better.
I spend 2 days thinking what exactly I wanted. Someone who was strong, powerful, but a little selfish, or someone who cares, but is emotionally weak and needy? I pondered, for 4 days, until I came up with a conclusion today.
I need someone who is strong, maybe a little selfish, but benevolence don't go anyway sometimes. And I know I can count on him. I am very glad I didn't do anything foolish in the days of being emotionally unstable, when everyone wanted a piece of me. I concluded it was because I needed someone there for me during that day, when the rising stress from the final report and presentation took a toll on me, and he happened to be the one.
But today, when I realised my decision at the first place was selfish. I was selfish, because I only thought of myself. I totally disregarded your feelings, the hardship you are going through, and thought I was the one having it worse. In the end, I suppose we are both equal.
I could apologize to him and his relationship too. Because my selfishness had almost caused another heartbreak. But I don't blame myself or regret anything, because I still think you deserve better. Better than her, better than me.
I am contented now. One cannot ask for more in life, because God gives us what he knows we can do. I am thankful.