(no subject)
I want to sleep. Well. In a real bed.
My sleep has been so broken and uncomfortable recently. Especially the past like.. week, I guess. I'm pretty sure that I've been having strange dreams, but my memory of them is nonexistant. When I wake up though, I have this ridiculous feeling of unease and anxiety. That and my bed is beyond fucked up. It's a futon, and it's missing all or part of like 3 or 4 bars, making the surface less flat. Oh, and my room is already getting pretty damned hot at night. So there's the whole sweating and tossing and turning thing too.
Blah.
And today has already been not so good. The highlight so far has been burning a small chunk of my hair when I went out for a smoke at 9. That was fun. You can't really tell [for once I'm thankful for my mess of curls] but it's still irksome.
Class also is irksome. That starts back up tonight. I very much enjoyed not having to deal with class last week, and wish that I could just be done. I feel like I've been doing it forever. I feel like I have time for nothing else.
Also, I really want to get into going to the gym again.. but that's another mess. Bob was paying for my membership, and my training sessions are under his account. I still have both of our cards, but I feel like things need to be more.. sorted out before I mess with trying to figure out what to do about that. It's on the seemingly ever growing list of stuff that I need to ask Bob about that is in no way related to our actual relationship, but that needs to be dealt with. But nothing can be dealt with at the moment, because it seems that the lines of communication are slow and full of speed bumps and pot holes.
][][][
Ya know, I wrote all that shit out, but that was way more than what I was trying to say. All I wanted to say was that I'm tired. And down today. Irritated at the world and wanting loving arms to curl up in.
It's shitty to me that such a need has to go unfulfilled.
My sleep has been so broken and uncomfortable recently. Especially the past like.. week, I guess. I'm pretty sure that I've been having strange dreams, but my memory of them is nonexistant. When I wake up though, I have this ridiculous feeling of unease and anxiety. That and my bed is beyond fucked up. It's a futon, and it's missing all or part of like 3 or 4 bars, making the surface less flat. Oh, and my room is already getting pretty damned hot at night. So there's the whole sweating and tossing and turning thing too.
Blah.
And today has already been not so good. The highlight so far has been burning a small chunk of my hair when I went out for a smoke at 9. That was fun. You can't really tell [for once I'm thankful for my mess of curls] but it's still irksome.
Class also is irksome. That starts back up tonight. I very much enjoyed not having to deal with class last week, and wish that I could just be done. I feel like I've been doing it forever. I feel like I have time for nothing else.
Also, I really want to get into going to the gym again.. but that's another mess. Bob was paying for my membership, and my training sessions are under his account. I still have both of our cards, but I feel like things need to be more.. sorted out before I mess with trying to figure out what to do about that. It's on the seemingly ever growing list of stuff that I need to ask Bob about that is in no way related to our actual relationship, but that needs to be dealt with. But nothing can be dealt with at the moment, because it seems that the lines of communication are slow and full of speed bumps and pot holes.
][][][
Ya know, I wrote all that shit out, but that was way more than what I was trying to say. All I wanted to say was that I'm tired. And down today. Irritated at the world and wanting loving arms to curl up in.
It's shitty to me that such a need has to go unfulfilled.