Awwwesome
It's time for the semi-annual Tommy's run. For those of you who missed the last Tommy's Run at the end of track (which would be everyone except for me and Ian), it goes like this:
We meet up and run to Tommy's in Eagle Rock (~5.5 miles) together. Once there we eat as many burgers as possible, then we eat one or two more burgers. Then we groan a lot and eat another burger. Then we go barf. Then we eat another burger (or four) and run back, preferably while eating more burgers. Record your time getting back and then subtract a handicap based on burgers consumed. Whoever has the lowest adjusted time wins a prize or something. Maybe not - perhaps we'll just go for "wins eternal glory and honor", which generally speaking is a euphemism for "nothing". It's a little nebulous.
if you only eat plants, don't worry; these are special "plant burgers". they are made from pure "plant cows". really they are.
nah i'm kidding. but seriously, if you're a vegetarian don't worry about it. you are too weak from chronic protein deficiency to run that far anyway.
Here's what I'm thinking for handicaps
guys: 90 seconds/burger (rounded down to nearest whole burger)
girls: 3 min automatic and 3min/whole burger
handicap examples:
* i eat 15 burgers and run back in 26 minutes. adjusted time = 26 - 15*1.5 = 3:30
* billy also eats 15 burgers but decides to take a 30-mile detour on the way back and finishes in 5 hours. adjusted time 300-15*1.5 = 4:37:30
* ekua tries to eat a burger but as usual can only get half way, then runs back in 40 minutes. adjusted time 40 - 3 = 37:00
* tommy runs to tommy's, but can't see over the counter to place his order. he is disqualified for not eating any burgers, and then he gets adopted by the local orphanage. adjusted time left as an exercise to the reader
* ian talks a lot of shit about how many burgers he is going to eat, then stops after one and a half because he "doesn't want to get too full, and has to save the leftovers for the dog". then his knee explodes on the way back and we leave him to die in the gutter on colorado blvd with the rest of the bums. adjusted time DNF (Day's New Fatality)
We meet up and run to Tommy's in Eagle Rock (~5.5 miles) together. Once there we eat as many burgers as possible, then we eat one or two more burgers. Then we groan a lot and eat another burger. Then we go barf. Then we eat another burger (or four) and run back, preferably while eating more burgers. Record your time getting back and then subtract a handicap based on burgers consumed. Whoever has the lowest adjusted time wins a prize or something. Maybe not - perhaps we'll just go for "wins eternal glory and honor", which generally speaking is a euphemism for "nothing". It's a little nebulous.
if you only eat plants, don't worry; these are special "plant burgers". they are made from pure "plant cows". really they are.
nah i'm kidding. but seriously, if you're a vegetarian don't worry about it. you are too weak from chronic protein deficiency to run that far anyway.
Here's what I'm thinking for handicaps
guys: 90 seconds/burger (rounded down to nearest whole burger)
girls: 3 min automatic and 3min/whole burger
handicap examples:
* i eat 15 burgers and run back in 26 minutes. adjusted time = 26 - 15*1.5 = 3:30
* billy also eats 15 burgers but decides to take a 30-mile detour on the way back and finishes in 5 hours. adjusted time 300-15*1.5 = 4:37:30
* ekua tries to eat a burger but as usual can only get half way, then runs back in 40 minutes. adjusted time 40 - 3 = 37:00
* tommy runs to tommy's, but can't see over the counter to place his order. he is disqualified for not eating any burgers, and then he gets adopted by the local orphanage. adjusted time left as an exercise to the reader
* ian talks a lot of shit about how many burgers he is going to eat, then stops after one and a half because he "doesn't want to get too full, and has to save the leftovers for the dog". then his knee explodes on the way back and we leave him to die in the gutter on colorado blvd with the rest of the bums. adjusted time DNF (Day's New Fatality)