Hold On? Dont think I can.
Yeah so I'm writing this entry with tears running down my face, because I just need to talk and well 2 people are here listening to me, but I dunno, they dont understand. So I'm sitting here tonight, and I get a sudden urge to write letters but I cant find any paper. So I get up and go into the kitchen and see one of my old notebooks, so I grab it and open it up to see whats in it, and its all my grandmothers writing, like a journal, with dates and everything, and its FULL of stuff about how much she hates me. So like an idiot, I sat there, and I read it. Talking about how she wishes my mother didnt wait so long to go have an abortion with me before it was too late, cause she wishes I was dead.. filled with her hatred for me, and her wishes for my death, and what a rotten person I am. Blaming me for my mothers death, blaming me for everything that goes wrong in her life. So I went in the bedroom and told her I found it. She gets up and starts yelling at me and throwing stuff at me, telling me I dont care and all sorts of crap, telling me what a bad person I am. So I'm sitting here fucking bawling my eyes out. God I dont know what to do. I want to get the hell out of here.