I hold on, I hold on
I can't let go.....
Nothing seems to help
Nothing seems to work
Nothing is as beautiful
I'm old enough to take
all the blame
For all the mistakes
>I hate being this distant from him, even though we are both moving forward in our lives, it hurts to not have him here. my best friend, my soul mate, the one person that knew me inside and out...now feels like someone that barely knows me at all. which overall really isn't the truth because he still does know what is going on in my life, but it is different to not experience the things that raise us up or push us further down together. I cannot even begin to show how much my emotional expression has changed without him around. I am afraid to show that part of me, because the response is not the same from everyone else. There are not words to say exactly what I am feeling right now. I am scared that he doesn't feel this same. I am scared that he doesn't miss me like I miss him. It is just one of those things where when I think of all of the things that put together such an amazing friendship....tears fill my eyes....I could probably fill one of the oceans with all of my tears.<
side note....as I reached behind me to grab a tissue to wipe the tears away from my eyes...I apologized to my fan for running into it. how ridiculous.
my future now lies in the hands of people I have never met. which makes me so nervous.
Am I good enough? Will I be able to move forward? Paper just doesn't express my ability to be successful, and that worries me.
on the other hand...I question... What do I do if I don't get in? Where do I live? How to keep the important things in my life still important? Am I going to lose some of the most precious things in my life? How do I keep myself together?
I hate money. I really really hate it. I am really looking forward to finding some kind of job in December because it is extremely important to me to start to put money in the bank. My bills are piling too high, and my bank account too low.
Do you ever feel like you've made a decision too quickly? even if it seems perfect at the moment.
Now I don't know how to make it the way my gut feels right now. I am not sure that I am deserving of your love, mainly because I need to love myself first.
I am disappointed in myself.
my body is starting to fall apart. I am exhausted. I have a stupid eye infection, which I've had for over a week now. My headaches are back, and my jaw is hurting worse than it ever has.
If it's not enough
It's not enough
It's not enough I'm sorry......
Nothing seems to help
Nothing seems to work
Nothing is as beautiful
I'm old enough to take
all the blame
For all the mistakes
>I hate being this distant from him, even though we are both moving forward in our lives, it hurts to not have him here. my best friend, my soul mate, the one person that knew me inside and out...now feels like someone that barely knows me at all. which overall really isn't the truth because he still does know what is going on in my life, but it is different to not experience the things that raise us up or push us further down together. I cannot even begin to show how much my emotional expression has changed without him around. I am afraid to show that part of me, because the response is not the same from everyone else. There are not words to say exactly what I am feeling right now. I am scared that he doesn't feel this same. I am scared that he doesn't miss me like I miss him. It is just one of those things where when I think of all of the things that put together such an amazing friendship....tears fill my eyes....I could probably fill one of the oceans with all of my tears.<
side note....as I reached behind me to grab a tissue to wipe the tears away from my eyes...I apologized to my fan for running into it. how ridiculous.
my future now lies in the hands of people I have never met. which makes me so nervous.
Am I good enough? Will I be able to move forward? Paper just doesn't express my ability to be successful, and that worries me.
on the other hand...I question... What do I do if I don't get in? Where do I live? How to keep the important things in my life still important? Am I going to lose some of the most precious things in my life? How do I keep myself together?
I hate money. I really really hate it. I am really looking forward to finding some kind of job in December because it is extremely important to me to start to put money in the bank. My bills are piling too high, and my bank account too low.
Do you ever feel like you've made a decision too quickly? even if it seems perfect at the moment.
Now I don't know how to make it the way my gut feels right now. I am not sure that I am deserving of your love, mainly because I need to love myself first.
I am disappointed in myself.
my body is starting to fall apart. I am exhausted. I have a stupid eye infection, which I've had for over a week now. My headaches are back, and my jaw is hurting worse than it ever has.
If it's not enough
It's not enough
It's not enough I'm sorry......