(no subject)
you say that i chose sadness, that it never once has chosen me. well...maybe you're right.
theres always those people that are there that make me angry and i cant do anything. i feel like i cant be myself and that they're criticizing and appraising everything i do, like i need to prove something to them. theres girls that treat me like im not even there, and then theres people who see me as nothing but a sex object. i often wonder if theres anyone out there that imagines me in their lives and decides that i would definately make their lives better. and then i realize there really isnt anyone like that out there. everything is so fucking cheap and artificial and theres only a few things that i can really feel nice about. because for all the people who make me feel bad about myself, there are my closest brothers and sisters who can make me really feel good about the world. the music i write might never be heard except for a handful of people but i wont forget how it felt to play that music. the jokes and laughs and conversations i have with people about video games might seem to ridiculous to everyone else, but to the rest of us they are the fondest memories we will ever have of this time in our lives. all these things that people look down on me for i in turn see as the things i love the most and im fucking tired of being ashamed of myself so FUCK OFF.
i also hope that all those people that make me feel bad turn around one day and see the shells of sitcom characters they have become and feel like they need to apologize to someone. and i hope when they turn around to do so, theres nobody around them anymore.
i dont want any comments, save your thoughts for when you truly mean them, please.
theres always those people that are there that make me angry and i cant do anything. i feel like i cant be myself and that they're criticizing and appraising everything i do, like i need to prove something to them. theres girls that treat me like im not even there, and then theres people who see me as nothing but a sex object. i often wonder if theres anyone out there that imagines me in their lives and decides that i would definately make their lives better. and then i realize there really isnt anyone like that out there. everything is so fucking cheap and artificial and theres only a few things that i can really feel nice about. because for all the people who make me feel bad about myself, there are my closest brothers and sisters who can make me really feel good about the world. the music i write might never be heard except for a handful of people but i wont forget how it felt to play that music. the jokes and laughs and conversations i have with people about video games might seem to ridiculous to everyone else, but to the rest of us they are the fondest memories we will ever have of this time in our lives. all these things that people look down on me for i in turn see as the things i love the most and im fucking tired of being ashamed of myself so FUCK OFF.
i also hope that all those people that make me feel bad turn around one day and see the shells of sitcom characters they have become and feel like they need to apologize to someone. and i hope when they turn around to do so, theres nobody around them anymore.
i dont want any comments, save your thoughts for when you truly mean them, please.