is it friday yet?
Oy VEY. I had an inkling of how this was going to go, but just... wow. Not even close.
I thought I was going be one of those teachers that found kindergarten to be their niche. There aren't many out there, but I was hopeful to join the minority. NOT A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL. Now i finally realize why so many teachers tell me they couldn't get out of that grade fast enough. My students are of course cute as buttons, squeezing me with hugs constantly, and making remarks at circle time that bust my gut. Those are the pearls. However, along with that comes the constant, and I mean CONSTANT bickering with one another, and repeated offenses to classroom rules. Things run pretty smoothly in the mornings when I have an aide to back me up, but after she leaves, all bets are off. I am now a firm believer that every Kinder teacher needs to have a full time aide, because chaos happens all too easily when you fly solo. I had a major tantrum thrown this afternoon, and finally had to grab another teacher to take her to the principal so I could still watch my class. And then center time was BLOODY HORRIBLE, with everyone fighting with everyone... "SHE CUT IN LINE! HE HIT ME! HE SPIT ON ME! SHE DREW ON MY PAPER!" And on and on we go. I made some changes to the afternoon schedule so hopefully that will fix some problems, but my word. When I'm alone to fend for myself in there, I feel like I could just rip my hair out. I know things have to improve with time, but right now September is ticking by sooooo slooooow.
Honestly, I just don't know if I can do this again next year. And the probability that another grade will open up is very slim. Kinder just beats the living daylights out of you, and right now I'm just in a very pessimistic mindset. Who knows, it may just turn for the better once they get into the school routine, but I'm so emotionally spent already. I find myself feeling so lost and alone, and frustrated because I really felt God called me to this profession and this place. I know that doesn't mean there won't be challenges, but why must I be forced to question His plan?
I miss my 2nd graders tremendously.
Saving grace is that my sister is coming to visit me for a whole week! OH SHE COULDN'T COME SOOOOON ENOUGH. She arrives Thursday, just in time to catch up on S4 episodes and join skygazing and I for 9 p.m. \o/