(no subject)
Quick note: I love this userpic, it reminds me of my hair when I was 19. My hair is naturally black but I had blond on the front of one side and as per the style in the late 80's, my hair was 'big' and fanned out with the spray of blond over the black. It looked similar to this pic (but curly) and very wicked.
I'm working at the clinic all next week, then back to babysitting Molly until May. Then I'll be at the clinic for the entire month of May while Karolina is out of the country, going back to the homeland to visit family. Mom has already asked the magic question "Do you think you can figure out how to do billing?" I swiftly responded that I didn't know squat about billing and filing with insurance companies and that I wasn't sure what resources were available even if I were to take up the task. Meaning: She most likely severed ties with the previous billing company (prior to Amber taking over) similar to the way she did with every other person that has handled her billing - with extreme prejudice and bitchiness. Hence I would be on my own to figure it out or seek someone to help/teach me while I struggled and she bitched about not having any money coming in :) No thanks. I'll pass. That company was Amber's lifeline to billing. Aside from the fact that I'm determined not to be a permanent fixture in that office again. I don't mind filling in periodically, but I refuse to go back to work for her. Or worse, made to feel like a charity case, which is what she tried to make it sound like in front of my niece. "Can we talk about this, you coming back to the clinic? I'd like to help you out." This after she asked me for a week to come back. I just hope Karolina comes back after her trip. I have this uneasy feeling it's her way of backing out gracefully and without confrontation.
Personally, I think she should close the clinic and go back to teaching. Hell, if she just took a part-time position at a university she would still make a hell of a lot more than what she is now. She could work at McDonald's and make more than she is now. As long as she didn't spend her check on sundaes and milkshakes. That was cruel. Ignore me, it's late and I'm in a spiteful mood.
I shouldn't be so hateful towards her. Yeah, I have many reasons to dislike her behavior and her as a person, but she is still my mother. I can't change that. No matter how much my brothers and I wish we were adopted, secretly, we have to accept that. And with her health, she has anywhere from 5 to 10 years. Personally, I think it's more like 5-7, 10 is being overly generous, 7 is kind, 5 is having a positive outlook. My brothers and I used to joke that she would outlive us all because of how strong we used to view her. But really, it was just fear. We were afraid of her, still are to an extent. Tom flat out hates her. He's practically counting the days until he gets his inheritence and is already picking out things he wants from the house.
Tom is a trip. He's just sick and greedy. When our great-grandfather died he was the first one in the house, stripping it down and cleaning it out. I took one thing out of there: a little plastic snoopy figure I'd given my great-grandmother for Christmas when I was five. He later turned around and gave me an old blanket chest that was falling apart, he decided he didn't want it. In the will I received the truck. After the reading of the will his comment was "My grandfather died and I didn't get anything." Nice. The property was supposed to be divided among the three of us, but grandpa signed it over to Randy before he died so we wouldn't have to pay inheritence tax on it. 30 acres is a lot on taxes. Well, my brothers sort of pulled a fast one. Randy took out a loan on the property initially to pay for his first divorce. Then the two boys got together and took out a second mortgage on it to start a business that they lost. They nearly lost the property too if not for our father. I was pissed. They did all that without my permission and I found out after the rescue what happened. Needless to say, they were both on the shit end with me. That property has been in the family for nearly 200 years. The family owned a lot more but due to the depression had to sell off most of it, the 30 acres is all that is left.
So, the land is safe, in Dad's name and we already discussed it. He's dividing it up among his four kids, my two dip brothers and my half-brother, who did a ton of work on the land with Dad, and me. We were worried about Tom's reaction to this. I have no problem with it, neither does Randy. If not for Dad, we wouldn't have that land anymore. I just want it to remain in the family, and Ed is family. I'm happy with that. As long as he doesn't sell it, or at least offers to sell it to family first, then I'm good. We want our step-mother to remain in the house though, we don't want her to move. I think Tom might have a problem with that. Randy and I will fight him on it. The same issue came up with Mom's house. Initially she had it in her will for the house to go to me. But I told her to change it and leave it to Julie, that I don't want the house. Duh, hello? So, she changed her will. A few years later the family was discussing the 'Tom' issue and decided it wasn't safe, we were afraid he would contest the will and decided it was best to switch the house to Julie's name and take Mom's off. And yes, he would kick Julie out. You have no idea just how greedy this ass is, he was spawned from my mother and he received the full force of her fury when we were kids. I was abused, but he was treated 100x worse than Randy and I combined. If any mother ever hated a child, I'm sure my mother hated him. It seemed that way. And yes, I blame her for how fucked up he is. Some of the shit she did would make you physically sick. I blame her for what he did to me. I blame her for all the misery he suffered in his childhood, especially his teens.
Do you know how fucked up it is to dislike someone who did you a grave wrong yet sympathize with them?
I'm working at the clinic all next week, then back to babysitting Molly until May. Then I'll be at the clinic for the entire month of May while Karolina is out of the country, going back to the homeland to visit family. Mom has already asked the magic question "Do you think you can figure out how to do billing?" I swiftly responded that I didn't know squat about billing and filing with insurance companies and that I wasn't sure what resources were available even if I were to take up the task. Meaning: She most likely severed ties with the previous billing company (prior to Amber taking over) similar to the way she did with every other person that has handled her billing - with extreme prejudice and bitchiness. Hence I would be on my own to figure it out or seek someone to help/teach me while I struggled and she bitched about not having any money coming in :) No thanks. I'll pass. That company was Amber's lifeline to billing. Aside from the fact that I'm determined not to be a permanent fixture in that office again. I don't mind filling in periodically, but I refuse to go back to work for her. Or worse, made to feel like a charity case, which is what she tried to make it sound like in front of my niece. "Can we talk about this, you coming back to the clinic? I'd like to help you out." This after she asked me for a week to come back. I just hope Karolina comes back after her trip. I have this uneasy feeling it's her way of backing out gracefully and without confrontation.
Personally, I think she should close the clinic and go back to teaching. Hell, if she just took a part-time position at a university she would still make a hell of a lot more than what she is now. She could work at McDonald's and make more than she is now. As long as she didn't spend her check on sundaes and milkshakes. That was cruel. Ignore me, it's late and I'm in a spiteful mood.
I shouldn't be so hateful towards her. Yeah, I have many reasons to dislike her behavior and her as a person, but she is still my mother. I can't change that. No matter how much my brothers and I wish we were adopted, secretly, we have to accept that. And with her health, she has anywhere from 5 to 10 years. Personally, I think it's more like 5-7, 10 is being overly generous, 7 is kind, 5 is having a positive outlook. My brothers and I used to joke that she would outlive us all because of how strong we used to view her. But really, it was just fear. We were afraid of her, still are to an extent. Tom flat out hates her. He's practically counting the days until he gets his inheritence and is already picking out things he wants from the house.
Tom is a trip. He's just sick and greedy. When our great-grandfather died he was the first one in the house, stripping it down and cleaning it out. I took one thing out of there: a little plastic snoopy figure I'd given my great-grandmother for Christmas when I was five. He later turned around and gave me an old blanket chest that was falling apart, he decided he didn't want it. In the will I received the truck. After the reading of the will his comment was "My grandfather died and I didn't get anything." Nice. The property was supposed to be divided among the three of us, but grandpa signed it over to Randy before he died so we wouldn't have to pay inheritence tax on it. 30 acres is a lot on taxes. Well, my brothers sort of pulled a fast one. Randy took out a loan on the property initially to pay for his first divorce. Then the two boys got together and took out a second mortgage on it to start a business that they lost. They nearly lost the property too if not for our father. I was pissed. They did all that without my permission and I found out after the rescue what happened. Needless to say, they were both on the shit end with me. That property has been in the family for nearly 200 years. The family owned a lot more but due to the depression had to sell off most of it, the 30 acres is all that is left.
So, the land is safe, in Dad's name and we already discussed it. He's dividing it up among his four kids, my two dip brothers and my half-brother, who did a ton of work on the land with Dad, and me. We were worried about Tom's reaction to this. I have no problem with it, neither does Randy. If not for Dad, we wouldn't have that land anymore. I just want it to remain in the family, and Ed is family. I'm happy with that. As long as he doesn't sell it, or at least offers to sell it to family first, then I'm good. We want our step-mother to remain in the house though, we don't want her to move. I think Tom might have a problem with that. Randy and I will fight him on it. The same issue came up with Mom's house. Initially she had it in her will for the house to go to me. But I told her to change it and leave it to Julie, that I don't want the house. Duh, hello? So, she changed her will. A few years later the family was discussing the 'Tom' issue and decided it wasn't safe, we were afraid he would contest the will and decided it was best to switch the house to Julie's name and take Mom's off. And yes, he would kick Julie out. You have no idea just how greedy this ass is, he was spawned from my mother and he received the full force of her fury when we were kids. I was abused, but he was treated 100x worse than Randy and I combined. If any mother ever hated a child, I'm sure my mother hated him. It seemed that way. And yes, I blame her for how fucked up he is. Some of the shit she did would make you physically sick. I blame her for what he did to me. I blame her for all the misery he suffered in his childhood, especially his teens.
Do you know how fucked up it is to dislike someone who did you a grave wrong yet sympathize with them?