"If i could tell the world just one thing it would be that we're all ok." -Jewel
“I owe you nothing. And you are nothing to me. Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.” -Moulin Rouge
heh, there was a point that i would have given anything to be on his side to help him through whatever life threw our way. it's funny how attitude changes when opportunity is taken from you. I suppose the bitterness is short lived as always and i'll soon return to feeling hurt and hope someone i once cared for so much is doing better.
In the end i suppose it doesn't matter how i feel. I just get frustrated when i can't change the problems in the lives of people around me. And I hadn't given it a second damn thought until last night, but now I can't help but wonder if my ex is ok as well. And then comes back that whole bounce back around between being hurt and being bitter beyond any strech of the imaginiation i think anyone out there is capable of.
I had a weird (disturbing) dream last night. I was riding along the ocean on a "white" horse and all of the sudden someone comes galloping up from behind me on a black horse probably a hand or so taller than mine. They slide to a stop in front of me and i can't make out the rider's face (it was almost like one of those fuzzy circles in a tv show where you can't see someone's identity). They cut off my horse, pushing us into the ocean little by little. I don't realize what what's happening, but my horse rears up and lashes out with his front feet. The person on the black horse simply yells something ( don't know what ) and my horse stops 'misbehaving' and continues to walk calmly into the ocean. I try to get off but i realize i'm stuck. I turn to yell at the black horse rider and i feel this intense pain in my chest so i look down and i'm bleeding from the middle of my chest. I kinda faint although relatively conscious (as well as i can tell in a dream anyway) and finally detach from my horse. I fall into the chest deep water on my back and flow into the shore with the waves coming in. I look back at my horse and see that the blood coming from me had run down his shoulders and neck and formed a perfect circle in the middle of his chest. I look up at the black horse and his rider looks down at me. I see everything in my view getting fuzzier and fuzzier as the black horse rider's face becomes more and more clear. And just as I'm about to be *sure* that it is who i think it is (i had an idea), my white horse charges inbetween the black horse and I and pushes me gently with his nose. I then i woke up...?
Kinda creeepily symbolic dream i think... bleeding hearts, black and white horses... etc etc. I'm creeped out.
Anyway, im off to Sociology (gasp!). Haha, i didn't know anyone was going to pay attention to my rant last night, but Sam IMed me this morning with a quick thank you for beating his mind back into shape lol. And apparently it reached the wrong people too. Such is the way of LJ. Damn, the person who finally pissed me off into writing that probably isn't ever going to read it - or if he does it'll be like months down the road when he actually gets around to rejoining the world of his living friends. I think i'm going to be flat out like "Hey whiny, i wrote an LJ post that you inspired" so he'll go read it. Why do i even care? Its like that whole cow thing - i just wish i didn't like them cuz they're tasty.
Well hope all is well out in the world of LJ, i'll be back sooner or later i'm sure :)
heh, there was a point that i would have given anything to be on his side to help him through whatever life threw our way. it's funny how attitude changes when opportunity is taken from you. I suppose the bitterness is short lived as always and i'll soon return to feeling hurt and hope someone i once cared for so much is doing better.
In the end i suppose it doesn't matter how i feel. I just get frustrated when i can't change the problems in the lives of people around me. And I hadn't given it a second damn thought until last night, but now I can't help but wonder if my ex is ok as well. And then comes back that whole bounce back around between being hurt and being bitter beyond any strech of the imaginiation i think anyone out there is capable of.
I had a weird (disturbing) dream last night. I was riding along the ocean on a "white" horse and all of the sudden someone comes galloping up from behind me on a black horse probably a hand or so taller than mine. They slide to a stop in front of me and i can't make out the rider's face (it was almost like one of those fuzzy circles in a tv show where you can't see someone's identity). They cut off my horse, pushing us into the ocean little by little. I don't realize what what's happening, but my horse rears up and lashes out with his front feet. The person on the black horse simply yells something ( don't know what ) and my horse stops 'misbehaving' and continues to walk calmly into the ocean. I try to get off but i realize i'm stuck. I turn to yell at the black horse rider and i feel this intense pain in my chest so i look down and i'm bleeding from the middle of my chest. I kinda faint although relatively conscious (as well as i can tell in a dream anyway) and finally detach from my horse. I fall into the chest deep water on my back and flow into the shore with the waves coming in. I look back at my horse and see that the blood coming from me had run down his shoulders and neck and formed a perfect circle in the middle of his chest. I look up at the black horse and his rider looks down at me. I see everything in my view getting fuzzier and fuzzier as the black horse rider's face becomes more and more clear. And just as I'm about to be *sure* that it is who i think it is (i had an idea), my white horse charges inbetween the black horse and I and pushes me gently with his nose. I then i woke up...?
Kinda creeepily symbolic dream i think... bleeding hearts, black and white horses... etc etc. I'm creeped out.
Anyway, im off to Sociology (gasp!). Haha, i didn't know anyone was going to pay attention to my rant last night, but Sam IMed me this morning with a quick thank you for beating his mind back into shape lol. And apparently it reached the wrong people too. Such is the way of LJ. Damn, the person who finally pissed me off into writing that probably isn't ever going to read it - or if he does it'll be like months down the road when he actually gets around to rejoining the world of his living friends. I think i'm going to be flat out like "Hey whiny, i wrote an LJ post that you inspired" so he'll go read it. Why do i even care? Its like that whole cow thing - i just wish i didn't like them cuz they're tasty.
Well hope all is well out in the world of LJ, i'll be back sooner or later i'm sure :)