late night jumble
productivity was not the word of the day. especially when you loose about 6 hours to sleep. went over to jarrods to jam but never even took my instrument out of the case. though i did watch an amazing film based on a true story called "The City of God".
one thing i really do hate about orange county and its inhabitant, including myself at times, is that sometimes we really feel as if we've got it tough in the least bit.
i sit hear with a broken heart and a scared soul. but the fact that in my life, that instead of constantly fearing for my life, i had time to love and be loved for a second is a marical. jobless, i live off of my parents, halfheartedly attend school, and basically squander any bit of opportunity i've ever been given. i think i really need to see hard times first hand.
i need to get out of this country. not to tijuana, not to mexicali. i want to go to brazil. to rio. to spain.
this spreads through my mind and body the instant her face enters my thoughts. hers is a most painful beauty.
so durring the course of the movie today i had smoked to a point of complete vulnerability. like an open wound waiting for the infested mal-intent of my subconscience, my mind gave in. must there always be some kind of love story? even in this movie of revolution, drugs, and death there was heartbreak. but in my state of being i took it harder than the main character, rocket. haha...it really is funny sometimes. hopeless romantics thrive on heartbreak.
sometimes i think i enjoy the pain in some sado-masacistic way. i love to see people hurt...not physically, but emotionally because it hurts me just as bad. i really think i have a problem. but i guess if you think you're crazy, you're not really. just attention starved. not cool.
i appologize is this just seems overdepressing but at this late hour my mind is uncontrolable.
one thing i really do hate about orange county and its inhabitant, including myself at times, is that sometimes we really feel as if we've got it tough in the least bit.
i sit hear with a broken heart and a scared soul. but the fact that in my life, that instead of constantly fearing for my life, i had time to love and be loved for a second is a marical. jobless, i live off of my parents, halfheartedly attend school, and basically squander any bit of opportunity i've ever been given. i think i really need to see hard times first hand.
i need to get out of this country. not to tijuana, not to mexicali. i want to go to brazil. to rio. to spain.
this spreads through my mind and body the instant her face enters my thoughts. hers is a most painful beauty.
so durring the course of the movie today i had smoked to a point of complete vulnerability. like an open wound waiting for the infested mal-intent of my subconscience, my mind gave in. must there always be some kind of love story? even in this movie of revolution, drugs, and death there was heartbreak. but in my state of being i took it harder than the main character, rocket. haha...it really is funny sometimes. hopeless romantics thrive on heartbreak.
sometimes i think i enjoy the pain in some sado-masacistic way. i love to see people hurt...not physically, but emotionally because it hurts me just as bad. i really think i have a problem. but i guess if you think you're crazy, you're not really. just attention starved. not cool.
i appologize is this just seems overdepressing but at this late hour my mind is uncontrolable.