(no subject)

Feb 26, 2006 19:36

Attention: If you want to make me feel bad for not being around because of things I can't control, and try to put the BLAME on me.. then don't even fucking bother. "Scaring me out of my wits" is NOT going to make me want to come over. It's going to make me want to go FURTHER and FURTHER away. My gosh, you think people would have a heart and understand I've been going through morning sickness, even after people's tried to explain it. But NOOO. I have to have my cousin, who tried to help, actually made things worse. Yes, I WAS going to come over, but after the convo with her, and her trying to put the blame on me... fuck it. I did not do anything except not be there for a few weeks. Wow, and do I see people making the effort to see me? No, it's all me. And who CARES if I'm at the mall, hello, it's called JOB HUNTING. Also, me and Jarrad have A LOT of planning to do, which is WHY I'm with him. Besides, he's the love of my life, and the father or my baby. AND YES- I WANT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THIS PERSON. I AM marrying him.

And for the record: Yes, I AM studying to be a Jehovah's Witness. Jarrad did NOT force me; this was someone on my own free will. He did help yes, but did he force no. I was the one who wanted to know more. I was the one who asked questions. I was the one who felt this from the heart, much like my love for him. Yes, I know a lot about it. But I'm still learning. I'd be more than happy to explain to people who the JW faith is all about, you can also go to the official site at www.watchtower.org, but please... DO NOT go to a site that is not an official site, they only knock it down. As I said, I'll be more than happy to explain JWs

I'm happy, and can people not accept that...? Do I have to be made the bad guy here. Note: Pregnancy is hard work, it makes one tired, restless, and often sick. And NOTE: Morning sickness is bull shit. It can happen ANYtime.

I just wish people would ASK instead of making me feel like the bad guy. Because if people think that just because you have someone try to scare me, or blame me whatever phrase you want to use it's gonna make me be sorry, then no. I have NOTHING to be sorry for. Maybe THEY should be sorry for making me feel like SHIT on things I can't control. Oh wow, so you don't like how I've been "acting", fine. I'll try to fucking control my morning sickness and drop everything. It's NOT something you can FUCKING control. I did NOTHING to be sorry for. Just because I'm NOT around DOES NOT mean you can act like I've been acting bad. Have people not BEEN around pregnant people?! Do they not FUCKING understand that they have a lot to plan for. Also, I haven't been in school for the past few weeks, so it's NOT just friends I'm ignoring. It's because I HAVEN'T BEEN.

::sigh:: Okay, I'm done. That felt good. I mean come on... trying to make me feel bad in hopes it'll make me change, is not GOING to work. I did nothing wrong. I'm pregnant. You can't blame me for my morning sickness. So just stop, okay. I'm NOT going to respond to negative treatment.
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