Can you hear the effort of the magnetic strife? Shuffling of columns to form a mutual core.
Rainbow Coffee Mug day. Because I need a little inner rainbow. Sleep last night was punctuated with nightmares and pain. Also, I think I may have caught Bean sneaking around - not sure if he was returning from being out, in the kitchen or on the computer. Tonight: the eye of Sauron goes on and we lock the computers. Also we had invested in these little alarms for the doors, but we haven’t used them yet. I suppose tonight we will try ‘em out. /sigh.
TMI ALERT: Today is day three of the monthly cycle, but it’s the worst day (which started last night) - all dysmenorrhea and menorrhagia for more than 24 hours. No fun. Now after this Jezebel article yesterday, I’m considering going back on depo to get a break. Because it takes me a few days to recover from this, which doesn’t feed into the sickness I have for crossing things off my “to do” list and the insatiable need to accomplish things. As uberreiniger put it yesterday - I have this thing called ambition. I may tilt the scales to the unhealthy, but I’m working on that (see Rulin’s). But, I remember after I got my tubes tied (after Tank was born) I felt relieved to not have to do birth control and I had been on it for nearly 10 years solid. I remember thinking that I would probably be healthier because, after all, it was more natural. After my separation and divorce I was celibate for some time; then when I started dating and having an active sex life again, I just used condoms, because I couldn’t afford birth control. Once Hubby and I were together and tested and monogamous, and we both were fixed, it didn’t seem necessary to have birth control at all. But, that article has me thinking about it purely for the HIT I get each month. After the article, I did research on whether it may hurt me hormonally, and it sounds like if you take a break every now and then, it might be okay. Of course the article makes it sound like my ancestors (you know the ones I’m trying to be more natural like) didn’t have as many periods and since I get mine every 21 to 25 days, not having some a year would be very, very good. I guess I need to talk to my doctor and I’m overdue for a physical. But all medical appointments are on hold as much as possible until our insurance converts - Bean’s Pdoc appointments being the exception - which is one thing I have to do today, reschedule the appointment from last week when he was sick.
Yesterday during editing I introduced a new character to SECOND THOUGHT. So I need to add her (or I may change it to a him, not sure) summary and arc trajectory and make sure it fits. But, yeah. I think it’s good. It was a missing element that I was trying to put my thumb on and finally hit on it yesterday. I’m looking forward to doing nothing much but editing, reading and writing today. I will try to do my household chores, but am going to take it easy. I was good yesterday and for the most part got everything done. Because of my energy and pain levels today I will put off finishing the Raven Chronicle review until tomorrow. There’s more to read on it, yet. It’s quite the extensive cultural package. Again, which got me thinking about culture and how it feels oftentimes that I lack one. Yeah, yeah, check your privilege at the door white chick. But seriously, because its so dominate and yet so foreign to me because of my background, I feel like I have no culture - that it’s something made up and not real. It troubles me and I can’t define it clearly, nor identify the roots of this dissatisfaction. I suppose that’s why my Pagan spiritualism means so much to me. It’s a culture that is real to me. It’s a way to live (which culture really is at its foundation) that I can identify and feel natural about. I’ve had this conversation in the past with my Hubby and he claims we are clearly in the Nerd Culture, that our race and ethnicity don’t have much to do with our culture. I remember commenting to him, that was because it seemed the Euro-ancestors seemed hell bent on making it as vanilla and boring as possible. But when I go to our Pagan roots - that is when it becomes interesting and real. However, when I’m reading anthologies like this or my favored translated world literature, I feel like the rest of the world just is so much more interesting. America, you are so boring to me. But, then I think about living in Wyoming and Louisiana and Hawaii, and there are distinct cultures there. Hell, even Michigan has a culture (although I identify nothing but negative mostly there). I don’t know. Is it hard when you’re in the midst of it to clearly say, “hey, this is your culture?”
It’s clear I’m still half asleep and need another cup of coffee. And my ears are ringing so badly right now, it’s hard to hear the dishwasher going (which I started this morning because hubby didn’t do it last night as he said he would. Sigh.)
Surviving & Functioning today means I call the doctor’s office and make an appointment, I edit, I read, I make sure my children don’t hurt themselves or destroy our property. I think I can do that. Go me.
I did it July 23, 2012
Awoke
Zombie with coffee for like 5 minutes
Make hubbies lunch
Do Bean’s meds and call in refills
Do chore board
Catch up on Email/FB messages
Journal
Wake up kids
Have breakfast - begin reading Raven Chronicles.
Dress/Hygiene
Swish & Swipe
Make Bed
10 Things in Bedroom
Start Laundry
Help Bean with iPod snafu
(Fun with tortillas):
Teach Bean how to make Quesadilla
Teach Tank how to make breakfast burrito
Writer’s Café (Editing)
Come home and check email/upload photos
Move laundry along
Harvest lettuce
Clean lettuce and set to “dry” for dinner (seriously, I need a salad spinner)
Boil eggs for lunches and dinner tonight
Eat leftover spinach pizza for lunch
Ghetto mocha while continuing doing review for Raven Chronicles
:15 of Weeding
Fart around on Goodreads (transfer word document of “to read” to Goodreads)
Play WoW for :90 (haven’t played in weeks and I’m feeling less than energetic. Dumb being a woman time)
Make dinner (make your own salad bar night!)
Grab snap peas from garden
Eat dinner
Take a walk with hubby and puppy
Laundry go round
Watch television with hubby
Shower
Read before bed
Lights out
Well, I guess it’s time to find some music and try to do whatever it is I can do. But I think a morning nap might be in order.
Click to viewThis entry was originally posted at http://caszabrewin.dreamwidth.org/59592.html. Please comment there using OpenID.