Take me away, to better days, take me away, a hiding place
You know life is shitty, and your gonna break when you come to your most depressing recollection of memories. Except this time I'm not reading them, I'm adding another one.
I am more confused right now - more than I have ever been in my life. I don't know what the hell I am doing, or what I am going to do.
I wanna cry, but I don't want to talk about it! but I do, but when it comes to here it's not telling someone it's writing it down.
I love Jonathan with all my heart, and I don't have a problem with him, but everything surrounding I don't want to do. I don't want to be in this city anymore, I don't want to finish anything I've started right now. Which could be something I learned from him.
There is something about me that always wants to run.
Maybe I should have started? Maybe I'm being stupid, maybe I'm being ridiculously over dramatic. Or maybe I am breaking down.
I've never been afraid to admit it.
I got problems....
but I think it's all revolving around DRUG Problems.
Addiction is something I've always had in my life, and maybe it's what i need to free.
but I've overcome so much already. and I'm only fucking 19.
Life is so fucked up. I would much rather be watching this happen to someone else on reality tv.
You know at this time of year in high school, this is when I talked to a guidance councillor, these are the problems I cry about, and now I am alone....before there was someone listening only to tell me what to do....
maybe that's what i need....
Cause having people involved makes things even harder.
and a principal to help me get all the work i need to get done, done...and extended due dates..lol
OMG. Drama. UGH. Makes me want to barf. I'm in such a fucked up place.
Now I am probably going to go read older entries and cry some more...like i haven't drained enough in the past 24.
I am more confused right now - more than I have ever been in my life. I don't know what the hell I am doing, or what I am going to do.
I wanna cry, but I don't want to talk about it! but I do, but when it comes to here it's not telling someone it's writing it down.
I love Jonathan with all my heart, and I don't have a problem with him, but everything surrounding I don't want to do. I don't want to be in this city anymore, I don't want to finish anything I've started right now. Which could be something I learned from him.
There is something about me that always wants to run.
Maybe I should have started? Maybe I'm being stupid, maybe I'm being ridiculously over dramatic. Or maybe I am breaking down.
I've never been afraid to admit it.
I got problems....
but I think it's all revolving around DRUG Problems.
Addiction is something I've always had in my life, and maybe it's what i need to free.
but I've overcome so much already. and I'm only fucking 19.
Life is so fucked up. I would much rather be watching this happen to someone else on reality tv.
You know at this time of year in high school, this is when I talked to a guidance councillor, these are the problems I cry about, and now I am alone....before there was someone listening only to tell me what to do....
maybe that's what i need....
Cause having people involved makes things even harder.
and a principal to help me get all the work i need to get done, done...and extended due dates..lol
OMG. Drama. UGH. Makes me want to barf. I'm in such a fucked up place.
Now I am probably going to go read older entries and cry some more...like i haven't drained enough in the past 24.