This bites.
Where am I? Really. This place looks like Konoha but there are little things that are off about it and I don't recognize a single person. Is this some sort of messed up Genjutsu? I was never very good at dispelling those damn things and every time I try the people around me in this cafe place I'm at look at me like I'm nuts. And maybe I am, because I don't know where the hell I am or why I'm here.
Last I remember, I was in the hospital giving birth (I'd take Genjutsu torture over that any day, by the way), and oh-so-conveniently (or horribly, if that's how you wanna look at it - I was a little too busy trying to get a human being out from between my legs at the time to appreciate the horrible irony of the situation), the Kyuubi, nine-tailed chakra monster of death and destruction was making a fuss outside the village walls.
With me so far? Good. It gets worse.
So finally, finally the kid is out and he's being handed to me and for like, one single second, I reflect upon some sentimental crap like "Oh it's so great that life is able to exist and flourish even when so many people are out there dying," before my boyfriend, father of the child I am holding in my arms, basically looks at me with that face of his, the one he wears when he's got some ass to kick and some duty to fulfill that goes beyond all earth-logic. One of those things that makes sense, but only if you tilt your head to the side and squint? While wearing 3D glasses? Yeah. So he says while wearing that look, "Kushina, I know how to stop the Kyuubi, but you're probably not going to like how I want to go about doing it."
And no, I do not like how he plans to go about doing it. It's freaking risky as all hell, both for him and for the kid, but he goes off into this long spiel about why it's the right thing to do, and... Okay, my excuse here is that I was still kind of freaking out of it from the whole giving birth thing, but fine, yeah, I pulled him down, kissed him for good luck, and said dammit, I'd come too. I couldn't, obviously. Doesn't mean I didn't try. Stupid giving birth thing. It's times like those I hate being a kunoichi.
So he goes, takes our baby, and I'm stuck in the hospital while the Kyuubi continues wrecking havoc in Konoha, because obviously it's broken through the town limits, as if a wall or two could stop that damn thing. Life pretty much sucks for me!
And then... I don't know what happened. A random fireball or something? It was painless, I suppose. Obviously no one thought to tell the Yondaime's girlfriend hey, you'd better get out of the hospital, as the Kyuubi's spewing fireballs in this direction, now did they? Why would they, a lot of them never really liked me much anyway.
Anyway, that's the story. No idea what happened to Minato and Naruto. Naruto - that's what we were going to name the baby. No idea if the paperwork survived the fireball that apparently killed me, and may I say for just one moment how much it sucks to have been killed in such an unexciting way? It sucked. A lot. I am very bitter. More than I can say. I'd like to give fate the finger, actually. For eternity. Since apparently this must be heaven. Why heaven would look like Konoha, I have no idea, but at least it doesn't rain as much in Konoha, so who am I to complain.
Heaven is boring. And has too many nosy women who look at me funny (but maybe this is because I'm still trying to dispel a Genjutsu that I don't actually think exists anymore).
Hi, though! I'm Uzumaki Kushina, formerly of Whirlpool Country, nice to meet you and all that crap. Here's to hoping that eternity at least has a couple ramen stands.
Last I remember, I was in the hospital giving birth (I'd take Genjutsu torture over that any day, by the way), and oh-so-conveniently (or horribly, if that's how you wanna look at it - I was a little too busy trying to get a human being out from between my legs at the time to appreciate the horrible irony of the situation), the Kyuubi, nine-tailed chakra monster of death and destruction was making a fuss outside the village walls.
With me so far? Good. It gets worse.
So finally, finally the kid is out and he's being handed to me and for like, one single second, I reflect upon some sentimental crap like "Oh it's so great that life is able to exist and flourish even when so many people are out there dying," before my boyfriend, father of the child I am holding in my arms, basically looks at me with that face of his, the one he wears when he's got some ass to kick and some duty to fulfill that goes beyond all earth-logic. One of those things that makes sense, but only if you tilt your head to the side and squint? While wearing 3D glasses? Yeah. So he says while wearing that look, "Kushina, I know how to stop the Kyuubi, but you're probably not going to like how I want to go about doing it."
And no, I do not like how he plans to go about doing it. It's freaking risky as all hell, both for him and for the kid, but he goes off into this long spiel about why it's the right thing to do, and... Okay, my excuse here is that I was still kind of freaking out of it from the whole giving birth thing, but fine, yeah, I pulled him down, kissed him for good luck, and said dammit, I'd come too. I couldn't, obviously. Doesn't mean I didn't try. Stupid giving birth thing. It's times like those I hate being a kunoichi.
So he goes, takes our baby, and I'm stuck in the hospital while the Kyuubi continues wrecking havoc in Konoha, because obviously it's broken through the town limits, as if a wall or two could stop that damn thing. Life pretty much sucks for me!
And then... I don't know what happened. A random fireball or something? It was painless, I suppose. Obviously no one thought to tell the Yondaime's girlfriend hey, you'd better get out of the hospital, as the Kyuubi's spewing fireballs in this direction, now did they? Why would they, a lot of them never really liked me much anyway.
Anyway, that's the story. No idea what happened to Minato and Naruto. Naruto - that's what we were going to name the baby. No idea if the paperwork survived the fireball that apparently killed me, and may I say for just one moment how much it sucks to have been killed in such an unexciting way? It sucked. A lot. I am very bitter. More than I can say. I'd like to give fate the finger, actually. For eternity. Since apparently this must be heaven. Why heaven would look like Konoha, I have no idea, but at least it doesn't rain as much in Konoha, so who am I to complain.
Heaven is boring. And has too many nosy women who look at me funny (but maybe this is because I'm still trying to dispel a Genjutsu that I don't actually think exists anymore).
Hi, though! I'm Uzumaki Kushina, formerly of Whirlpool Country, nice to meet you and all that crap. Here's to hoping that eternity at least has a couple ramen stands.