Blood, tears, and devotion...
Is how Mistress Jadis described our last time playing on Twitter.
I had just arrived from rugby, and I had played the previous day also. I was quite sore and tired, and I was also still wearing my strapping tape on my thighs and my left ankle. I had left all of it on so that she could enjoy pulling it off me. Some of my leg hair came off with it. It was a nice to start with such a unique form of sadism.
But there was plenty more to come. The heavy stuff started off on the bench with cane strokes from three different canes, including one of the sort used in prisons in Singapore. I think I was reaching my threshold earlier than I would have normally on accot of my body already having been through a lot over the course of the weekend.
I was also stood up against the chain web in the corner where the single tail was used and I got closer and closer to being the sobbing puddle that Mistress jadis wanted me to be.
Her attitude this time was different to what it normally is. She was more demanding, more dismissive, more cold. She reminded me repeatedly that I was in pain because she wanted it. It was not the same as when I had first come to Carisbrook and sought a domme who loathed me, but there were certainly elements of that attitude present. Of course, she still talked me through the beating. She still found a way to be supportive even when being demanding.
When I was unable to articulate words and was communicating only through mumbles and grunts, I was ordered to the floor where Mistress Jadis brought out her strap on. It was always going to go this way given that she couldn't dish out as heavy a beating as she normally would. There was sucking punctuated by face slapping and there was fucking.
There had been devotion throughout, and there was now also blood and tears.
Afterwards the traditional foot worship the traditional assurance of how I had done was missing, and I was stopped half way through to be slapped in the face again. I had been spoken down to a lot and was feeling a bit fragile with all I had been through and all I had heard. If I had been sent away without some kind of validation I would have been in a bad way and would have struggled to put myself back together.
Luckily, that validation came along with the sense of closeness that has become so familiar in our playing. It still took me a few minutes more in the shower to feel like myself again. Mistress Jadis checked in to see how I was.
It was a great dynamic. Different from what I am accustomed to, and not something that accurately describes how I see myself, but still very cool as an idea.