we're getting down to wire here
so i actually sat down and figured it out.
after these next three weeks all i've have to do is keep up with readings until final exams at the beginning of april. but it's actually getting through these next few weeks. wait, after these next three weeks it'll be the beginning of april. SHIT.
i feel like i've been slipping - well, at least in french. after this last exam the whole notion of a guided independent study has kinda been getting me down. though i think i'm just allowing myself to be discouraged by one bad mark. though it's the worst mark i've gotten in three semesters here and for the first time i'm conscious that my GPA could fall. okay, i know it's not all about grades but in the spirit of full disclosure, i love my GPA. i've worked hard for it and i pride myself on being able to work hard and get the most out of all my classes. school was something i was always able to do alright in with a minimal effort but this time around i'm actually trying and when i take that into account alright just isn't enough. fuck alright - because to me alright means i'm not getting it all and truthfully i want to understand all of it. not for grades, not for pats on the back but honestly because the only thing that keeps me going here and trying is the notion that one day i'm gonna be able to figure out how all this works and when i do that i hoping i can make it better.
all i have left for class assignments is a group (booo) geography presentation, followed by the essay. it still seems like a lot because while i have been collecting information i haven't had a chance to go through any of it and i know nothing about agriculture on the prairies. plus i still have to keep up with readings (normally i wouldn't but with this poli sci you really have to) and go through (and apparently over as well) my french lessons. plus work, plus this has been going on like this for weeks and nights spent kicking back and taking it easy have become non-existent and replaced by readings. and i can't cut back my shifts at work anymore to get more time to do stuff. i have been making more of an effort to get some sketching done before bed which i've been digging and has been relaxing.
i want take next wednesday off and celebrate my birthday rather than go to class but i always end up guilting myself into going. if it ends up being a nice day then as of right now i am promising myself that i'm going down to stanley park with a discman, a bike, and a one toker and spending all day on the seawall and at the beach. i'm tired of this shit and i need a break.
OH! and the teachers might go on strike. while i agree with why they are going on strike i still can't help but be worried about trying to catch up when its done. but then i think - sweet mother reefer - i would LOVE a couple days off to catch up on stuff and take a breather. so i'm kinda hoping they'll go on strike until next thursday.
fingers crossed.
after these next three weeks all i've have to do is keep up with readings until final exams at the beginning of april. but it's actually getting through these next few weeks. wait, after these next three weeks it'll be the beginning of april. SHIT.
i feel like i've been slipping - well, at least in french. after this last exam the whole notion of a guided independent study has kinda been getting me down. though i think i'm just allowing myself to be discouraged by one bad mark. though it's the worst mark i've gotten in three semesters here and for the first time i'm conscious that my GPA could fall. okay, i know it's not all about grades but in the spirit of full disclosure, i love my GPA. i've worked hard for it and i pride myself on being able to work hard and get the most out of all my classes. school was something i was always able to do alright in with a minimal effort but this time around i'm actually trying and when i take that into account alright just isn't enough. fuck alright - because to me alright means i'm not getting it all and truthfully i want to understand all of it. not for grades, not for pats on the back but honestly because the only thing that keeps me going here and trying is the notion that one day i'm gonna be able to figure out how all this works and when i do that i hoping i can make it better.
all i have left for class assignments is a group (booo) geography presentation, followed by the essay. it still seems like a lot because while i have been collecting information i haven't had a chance to go through any of it and i know nothing about agriculture on the prairies. plus i still have to keep up with readings (normally i wouldn't but with this poli sci you really have to) and go through (and apparently over as well) my french lessons. plus work, plus this has been going on like this for weeks and nights spent kicking back and taking it easy have become non-existent and replaced by readings. and i can't cut back my shifts at work anymore to get more time to do stuff. i have been making more of an effort to get some sketching done before bed which i've been digging and has been relaxing.
i want take next wednesday off and celebrate my birthday rather than go to class but i always end up guilting myself into going. if it ends up being a nice day then as of right now i am promising myself that i'm going down to stanley park with a discman, a bike, and a one toker and spending all day on the seawall and at the beach. i'm tired of this shit and i need a break.
OH! and the teachers might go on strike. while i agree with why they are going on strike i still can't help but be worried about trying to catch up when its done. but then i think - sweet mother reefer - i would LOVE a couple days off to catch up on stuff and take a breather. so i'm kinda hoping they'll go on strike until next thursday.
fingers crossed.