...
Police Report [06:05pm]:
Suspect, Safiya Bobb, was last seen at 05:00 pm on June 19, 2005 in her parents bedroom room, legs covered by a hideous stripped sheet, listening to her iPod, reading the captioning on bad tv and eating Soy ice cream, wishing it was Ben & Jerry's. It is necessary to apprehend the suspect, lock her up & allow her no phone calls, no music, no bed, no windows, & no bathroom breaks. All she is allowed to have are her Math notes dating back untilSeptember 2004 & her three math textbooks. She should be escorted by Officer Stop-being-so-goddamn-lazy to school by 09:00 am, June 20, 2005 in order to take her math final. When she has completed her final, Officer The-fun-is-just-starting should escort her back to her jail cell & burn her Math notes & replace them with her Chemistry notes & be sure she has her Chemistry Regents Review book. Now find her as soon as possible. She is most likely still in front of the TV, listening to her iPod & reading the closed captioning. If not, check in front of the computer screen.
Suspect, Safiya Bobb, was last seen at 05:00 pm on June 19, 2005 in her parents bedroom room, legs covered by a hideous stripped sheet, listening to her iPod, reading the captioning on bad tv and eating Soy ice cream, wishing it was Ben & Jerry's. It is necessary to apprehend the suspect, lock her up & allow her no phone calls, no music, no bed, no windows, & no bathroom breaks. All she is allowed to have are her Math notes dating back untilSeptember 2004 & her three math textbooks. She should be escorted by Officer Stop-being-so-goddamn-lazy to school by 09:00 am, June 20, 2005 in order to take her math final. When she has completed her final, Officer The-fun-is-just-starting should escort her back to her jail cell & burn her Math notes & replace them with her Chemistry notes & be sure she has her Chemistry Regents Review book. Now find her as soon as possible. She is most likely still in front of the TV, listening to her iPod & reading the closed captioning. If not, check in front of the computer screen.