I'm your Father, dammit, not your friend ... now love me!
So my father and I have a long history (besides the obvious banging of my mom 40 years ago). He and I have had several "falling outs" ever since my parents separated when I was 10. (Yeah I know ... everyone's parents are divorced)
He's a strange bird though. Married his secretary and then moved into a new house a block and a half away from my mother's with his new wife and expected us to shuttle between houses. He read an article in Playboy about how well this worked ... but like dick size ... when you whip out the real time ruler they just don't quite measure up to 8 and 1/2 inches.
I'll spare you all the angst of my youth. But after such choice lectures as "Your my son in name only" and my 4 year excommunication for having participated in my mother's legal defense against him ... let's just say that Dad and I weren't going to Zeplin concerts at the Garden together.
But just like a bad coming of age movie, through it all I still had a need for his love and approval. Each time I was pushed away I would fight to fix things. So when he wrote me off again a few months ago for ... wait for it ... wait for it ... for not reminding him early enough that I was bringing Karri up to introduce her and visit him and his wife ... I was less than motivated to fix this one. If he wants to die a lonely old man ... fine with me.
Luckily, Karri is much more level headed and bought me a birthday card to send him, (I think she even mailed if for me) and we are now "speaking again".
So, why is this on my mind today ... because I called him yesterday and tried to have a real conversation with him. We got past the pleasantries. We went down the checklist"
Job: Yep ... still don't got one
Last Trip: Leather Retreat
Most Recent Movie: Nina Hartley's Private Sessions
Next Big Event: www.darkodyssey.com -- Registration now open!
Ok ... maybe my life is a bit unorthodox ... but it was like this when I was a director of marketing, traveling to London and watching "Life as a House".
It's been that way most of our lives ... we aren't friends. He isn't really interested in the how's and why's of my life and he certainly isn't going to open up to me about his. So we have a Father/son relationship and not a friend or peer relationship ... and he wonders why it's so empty.
I only hope that when my turn comes ... I can manage the balance between father figure and friend. I am sure it's a difficult tightrope to walk but I'm up for the challenge. I've got a lot to make up for.
He's a strange bird though. Married his secretary and then moved into a new house a block and a half away from my mother's with his new wife and expected us to shuttle between houses. He read an article in Playboy about how well this worked ... but like dick size ... when you whip out the real time ruler they just don't quite measure up to 8 and 1/2 inches.
I'll spare you all the angst of my youth. But after such choice lectures as "Your my son in name only" and my 4 year excommunication for having participated in my mother's legal defense against him ... let's just say that Dad and I weren't going to Zeplin concerts at the Garden together.
But just like a bad coming of age movie, through it all I still had a need for his love and approval. Each time I was pushed away I would fight to fix things. So when he wrote me off again a few months ago for ... wait for it ... wait for it ... for not reminding him early enough that I was bringing Karri up to introduce her and visit him and his wife ... I was less than motivated to fix this one. If he wants to die a lonely old man ... fine with me.
Luckily, Karri is much more level headed and bought me a birthday card to send him, (I think she even mailed if for me) and we are now "speaking again".
So, why is this on my mind today ... because I called him yesterday and tried to have a real conversation with him. We got past the pleasantries. We went down the checklist"
Job: Yep ... still don't got one
Last Trip: Leather Retreat
Most Recent Movie: Nina Hartley's Private Sessions
Next Big Event: www.darkodyssey.com -- Registration now open!
Ok ... maybe my life is a bit unorthodox ... but it was like this when I was a director of marketing, traveling to London and watching "Life as a House".
It's been that way most of our lives ... we aren't friends. He isn't really interested in the how's and why's of my life and he certainly isn't going to open up to me about his. So we have a Father/son relationship and not a friend or peer relationship ... and he wonders why it's so empty.
I only hope that when my turn comes ... I can manage the balance between father figure and friend. I am sure it's a difficult tightrope to walk but I'm up for the challenge. I've got a lot to make up for.