13 again :)
I feel like I've reverted back in time. I am once again a little idealist who loves poetic cadence and James Potter. <3
Reading back over some of the fanfiction I liked even two years ago, I realize how much my appreciation of writing has changed... How much I have changed. What was once SO witty to me is now only vaguely amusing. Some romantic lines just seem too drawn out, too trite, or too... false. But still I manage to laugh and smile because--how WONDERFUL was it when I could look at that trite and dream that someday those declarations of love would belong to me!!!
I miss the days when I wanted to quote EVERY fancy line I heard, tell the world what I discovered in a daily read. I miss the days when I would become so consumed by a story that I would imagine in my head new dialogue for the characters, new situations, new plot lines and romances and many kisses. My mind would wander (hence my username) and it seemed I would never come back to earth.
Fiction wasn't fiction to me. It was all possible... someone's story out in the universe and who could say it wasn't true? I believed in it all, believed that even what I invented in my wandering mind was real. But the world was beautiful then, no matter how disconnected from it I was.
And in spite of how this nostalgia may seem, I can now confidently say that the real world is beautiful too. Love in its truest form is beautiful still, despite pain and heartache and risk. It is true what they say: the things you look back on in life that are most worthwhile were always motivated by love. When I was younger I read that quote and thought about that dreamy romance that I could only hope and pray for; but today, I see that worthwhile love doesn't need to be romantic.
Every worthwhile memory I have is one entangled with love--it's true! Divine love, platonic love, familial love, and love of my neighbor. Love for me, love for others, love that gives and therefore receives. That love is so infinite in its capabilities, so limitless in its capacities. Love lifts us up where we belong? So true! LOVE is what we need to survive, to thrive, to do the impossible and make the world a better place.
I feel loved now more than ever. At 13 I sought it, I dreamt of it, I imagined some boy coming and sweeping me off my feet and YES that is where I would belong! In his arms, lost in the eternity of his eyes and his smile and his cool, sweet words.
But now, at 19 I have finally found it. True love, the truest. Love for you. Love for me. Love for the Lord and my neighbors and myself. Maybe it wasn't what I thought I wanted. Maybe the world and those words didn't end up being what I thought they would be. But here the world is! More beautiful and vast and fanciful than I ever imagined!
... and so, I can confidently say that each story is one of resilience. Determination of spirit, healing of the soul, defining of character--pain shows us these things, teaches us these things, and, through love and through life and through God, lifts us up where we belong.
Life goes on. This too shall pass. He will make your paths straight.
I am unshakeable, I am whole, and, God, life is so good!
Reading back over some of the fanfiction I liked even two years ago, I realize how much my appreciation of writing has changed... How much I have changed. What was once SO witty to me is now only vaguely amusing. Some romantic lines just seem too drawn out, too trite, or too... false. But still I manage to laugh and smile because--how WONDERFUL was it when I could look at that trite and dream that someday those declarations of love would belong to me!!!
I miss the days when I wanted to quote EVERY fancy line I heard, tell the world what I discovered in a daily read. I miss the days when I would become so consumed by a story that I would imagine in my head new dialogue for the characters, new situations, new plot lines and romances and many kisses. My mind would wander (hence my username) and it seemed I would never come back to earth.
Fiction wasn't fiction to me. It was all possible... someone's story out in the universe and who could say it wasn't true? I believed in it all, believed that even what I invented in my wandering mind was real. But the world was beautiful then, no matter how disconnected from it I was.
And in spite of how this nostalgia may seem, I can now confidently say that the real world is beautiful too. Love in its truest form is beautiful still, despite pain and heartache and risk. It is true what they say: the things you look back on in life that are most worthwhile were always motivated by love. When I was younger I read that quote and thought about that dreamy romance that I could only hope and pray for; but today, I see that worthwhile love doesn't need to be romantic.
Every worthwhile memory I have is one entangled with love--it's true! Divine love, platonic love, familial love, and love of my neighbor. Love for me, love for others, love that gives and therefore receives. That love is so infinite in its capabilities, so limitless in its capacities. Love lifts us up where we belong? So true! LOVE is what we need to survive, to thrive, to do the impossible and make the world a better place.
I feel loved now more than ever. At 13 I sought it, I dreamt of it, I imagined some boy coming and sweeping me off my feet and YES that is where I would belong! In his arms, lost in the eternity of his eyes and his smile and his cool, sweet words.
But now, at 19 I have finally found it. True love, the truest. Love for you. Love for me. Love for the Lord and my neighbors and myself. Maybe it wasn't what I thought I wanted. Maybe the world and those words didn't end up being what I thought they would be. But here the world is! More beautiful and vast and fanciful than I ever imagined!
... and so, I can confidently say that each story is one of resilience. Determination of spirit, healing of the soul, defining of character--pain shows us these things, teaches us these things, and, through love and through life and through God, lifts us up where we belong.
Life goes on. This too shall pass. He will make your paths straight.
I am unshakeable, I am whole, and, God, life is so good!