Meme time part 2!
7 deadly sins challenge gacked from piratesorka
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
This will probably be almost too easy.
(In no particular order)
1) People who have obtained their degree(s). I haven't finished college yet, largely due to how I prioritized my life and it would be very nice to just be a parent not a parent and struggling student. I feel like I'm behind the curve.
2) People who own their home, especially a house in a good neighborhood. We're working on home ownership but it's going to be a hard road for us, full of compromise and careful shopping thanks to our limited budget. I'm grateful to have received even a pre-approval, but I'd love a 3 or 4 bedroom house in the burbs with a nice sized back yard, dark hardwood floors, a big bathroom with a spa style tub, and a couple more bathrooms for my brood, oh and a kitchen with an island and granite or some similar stone counter tops. I have a dream house in mind, but I don't have the budget for it yet.
3) ANYONE who is thinner than I am and especially skinny but curvy bitches. I'm looking at you, ScarJo. I used to be able to stick to a strict regime of less calories and constant exercise and I STILL wasn't a skinny bitch. I've been fat my entire life and what I wouldn't give to wake up one morning and realize I've done it, I'm a thin woman who can walk in any store and find my size. Though I wouldn't have to confidence to show my stretch marks I'd love to fit and look good in a bikini. And while I've been fighting my compulsive eating, laziness, and intense real life stress, I seriously doubt I'll ever get down to a single digit size before I die.
4) Big girls with great bodies. If I'm going to be a fat chick my whole life I'd love to be a fat chick with an hourglass shape. I could rock say a size 16 sans rolls, spare tires, and thunder thighs. But I'm shaped like a pearapple and that's just the way it is. I have friends who are plus size with great shapes and I envy the shit out of them.
5) Parents with neurotypical children. This one hurts the most to write but I'm too old to fool around and tell lies to myself. It's not the child's "normal" status that I covet so much as it's the ability to take for granted that their child won't have extra struggles, or be the recipient of labels that inherently downgrade their abilities. I envy that parents with NT kids can just assume that with a decent upbringing and fair access to education their children will do as well as or better than they did. With my children there is so much uncertainty, and I still don't fully understand how my son's special needs to alter his education and ability to be self sufficient when he's older. And that may be times two.
6) People with a strong sense of self control. I strongly believe that if I mastered more discipline in my life some of my short and long term goals would be attained and sooner. I'm sure the root of my failure in diets and major lifestyle changes is a tangled web of depression, lack of support, and crappy self control.
7) People with a broad network of good friends, particularly former mutual friends who have drifted apart from me. Even if I parted with a friend on bad terms, I still miss the companionship and knowing what's going on in their life. Plus, I gotta admit I love being loved by everyone. In fact, as a teen I was pretty obsessed with pleasing everyone. As a young adult I think I vacillated between wanting to please everyone, and all but saying fuck everyone. Now, as a young woman coming up on 30 I realize I have a very small network of close real life friends, and only one is a mom. I've made new friends via birth month groups and a few play date type programs Nathan has been in but I haven't been able to connect with them. In truth I know I need a close mom friend, ideally someone who is on a similar boat as I am with my kids, and I need her to live close by. But I recognize that the people I know with a good network of friends go out a lot and socialize. I'm only just starting to come from a several year long haze of depression, and I'm still not confident enough to tangle with two toddlers solo so I can meet some people. I hope to soon though, for my mental health's sake.
Day 2 - Envy. Seven things you lack and covet.
This will probably be almost too easy.
(In no particular order)
1) People who have obtained their degree(s). I haven't finished college yet, largely due to how I prioritized my life and it would be very nice to just be a parent not a parent and struggling student. I feel like I'm behind the curve.
2) People who own their home, especially a house in a good neighborhood. We're working on home ownership but it's going to be a hard road for us, full of compromise and careful shopping thanks to our limited budget. I'm grateful to have received even a pre-approval, but I'd love a 3 or 4 bedroom house in the burbs with a nice sized back yard, dark hardwood floors, a big bathroom with a spa style tub, and a couple more bathrooms for my brood, oh and a kitchen with an island and granite or some similar stone counter tops. I have a dream house in mind, but I don't have the budget for it yet.
3) ANYONE who is thinner than I am and especially skinny but curvy bitches. I'm looking at you, ScarJo. I used to be able to stick to a strict regime of less calories and constant exercise and I STILL wasn't a skinny bitch. I've been fat my entire life and what I wouldn't give to wake up one morning and realize I've done it, I'm a thin woman who can walk in any store and find my size. Though I wouldn't have to confidence to show my stretch marks I'd love to fit and look good in a bikini. And while I've been fighting my compulsive eating, laziness, and intense real life stress, I seriously doubt I'll ever get down to a single digit size before I die.
4) Big girls with great bodies. If I'm going to be a fat chick my whole life I'd love to be a fat chick with an hourglass shape. I could rock say a size 16 sans rolls, spare tires, and thunder thighs. But I'm shaped like a pearapple and that's just the way it is. I have friends who are plus size with great shapes and I envy the shit out of them.
5) Parents with neurotypical children. This one hurts the most to write but I'm too old to fool around and tell lies to myself. It's not the child's "normal" status that I covet so much as it's the ability to take for granted that their child won't have extra struggles, or be the recipient of labels that inherently downgrade their abilities. I envy that parents with NT kids can just assume that with a decent upbringing and fair access to education their children will do as well as or better than they did. With my children there is so much uncertainty, and I still don't fully understand how my son's special needs to alter his education and ability to be self sufficient when he's older. And that may be times two.
6) People with a strong sense of self control. I strongly believe that if I mastered more discipline in my life some of my short and long term goals would be attained and sooner. I'm sure the root of my failure in diets and major lifestyle changes is a tangled web of depression, lack of support, and crappy self control.
7) People with a broad network of good friends, particularly former mutual friends who have drifted apart from me. Even if I parted with a friend on bad terms, I still miss the companionship and knowing what's going on in their life. Plus, I gotta admit I love being loved by everyone. In fact, as a teen I was pretty obsessed with pleasing everyone. As a young adult I think I vacillated between wanting to please everyone, and all but saying fuck everyone. Now, as a young woman coming up on 30 I realize I have a very small network of close real life friends, and only one is a mom. I've made new friends via birth month groups and a few play date type programs Nathan has been in but I haven't been able to connect with them. In truth I know I need a close mom friend, ideally someone who is on a similar boat as I am with my kids, and I need her to live close by. But I recognize that the people I know with a good network of friends go out a lot and socialize. I'm only just starting to come from a several year long haze of depression, and I'm still not confident enough to tangle with two toddlers solo so I can meet some people. I hope to soon though, for my mental health's sake.