Bathroom
There's a party going on in the communal kitchen/living area of my flat. I can hear the thump thump of dance music. Just a moment ago I heard someone go into the bathroom which is next door to my room. Then it sounded like things were being thrown about. At first I thought maybe the person who's in there is drunk and is kind of flailing around... but it went on for a bit too long and I eventually came out of my room. As I came out a boy with ginger hair and a blue shirt stomped quickly stomped out of the bathroom and back into the living room. I went to look at the bathroom.
I share it with two other girls. There are also three boys in the flat but their bedrooms are on the other side of the living room and they have their own bathroom. When I went into ours all our shampoo bottles were strewn across the floor. And an expensive henna shampoo that one of the other girls had just bought was upside down in the toilet bowl which hadn't been flushed.
Who does that? I got so mad. I was just about to storm into the living room and confront the boy when the door opened and another boy came out. Straightaway I asked him what the ginger boy's name was. He said it was Phil and why did I want to know?
“Well he's just f*cked up our bathroom.” I said.
He went to take a look and agreed with my judgement.
“He's a bit mental,” this new boy said. “He just downed a pint of cigarette ash water with stubs.”
I recalled the chanting I'd overhead earlier. I guess that must've been everyone egging him on.
“Sorry about that,” said the boy before going outside.
“That's ok,” I replied. What else was I going to do? It wasn't his fault. And after hearing more about this ginger boy I no longer wanted to confront him. In fact I realised my whole body was shaking. So I came back into my room and locked the door.
I knelt down and started to pray or something just to calm myself down. But that's not really my thing I guess. Besides, I could still hear the music and shouting from the living room and it was unsettling. Luckily some clever soul invented headphones. So I put on my headphones and listened to Bump of Chicken which definitely has a calming effect on me.
Earlier tonight I heard another boy come into the hall. He stood outside my door on his mobile phone saying how relieved he was that this person had got in touch. And ordered so much of some drug or other. Maybe this Phil guy had taken whatever it was and just gone a bit off his nut. But I don't want people like that to be in this place where I live. Why am I here? I miss my house and family and pets. What's wrong with all these young people? Why are they living such violent, repulsive lives?
I guess I already know the answer to that. They're unhappy and disempowered. Their lives are small and sad and so they take relief in whatever form they can. But it does not have to be like that. Taking responsibility for your own life and trying to improve is hard. And it can be lonely because it means being true to yourself which for some reason irritates other people. Whenever I go through into the kitchen to make food one of my flatmates usually makes a snide comment about the fact I never go out drinking with them. Are they serious? I've seen them when they get back after a night of drinking and it's kind of disgusting. I often get woken up by banging on the front door if one of them's lost their keys.
I'm really on my high horse huh? I've drunk too much in the past too. But I did realise it wasn't making me happy. I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out what matters. There's not a simple answer obviously. But I'm attempting to experience life while respecting myself and others. I accept all the 'bad' stuff but I'm trying to make improvements where I can. I sound like a bore! I'm having fun at the same time too.