(no subject)
Mostly I go about my days and the only patriarch(y) I have to worry about is my dad, who is mostly too grateful that I babysit the apartments while he goes to Mexico for several months every winter to spend all that much time fretting over my lack of cock. But sometimes it's not like that.
Yesterday at work, we had a guy we know (friend, customer, business associate, contractor) come to connect a sewer line. While he was there working on the project, he commented on one of our other employees, saying that one day in the summer while he was around, she was wearing a tank top with her tits on display. He wondered aloud why she didn't just go topless and do things up properly. (He seemed to feel that it was pointless to put 'em out there halfway where the male gaze couldn't really appreciate them fully.) *sigh*
First off, she could hear him and hearing him discuss her tits pissed her off. She felt it was ignorant and low-class of him to speak about her like that. I feel that if you want to be able to quietly and politely keep on ogling whatever tits and asses you can manage, you had best keep quiet about your ogling so that you don't spook the prey. But that's just me.
Secondly, that kind of shit generates a hostile workplace environment. I get along with the man, socially and in a business capacity. However, now I'm all wondering (as a tit-equipped and tank-top-wearing person) if he talks about me like that when he thinks I can't hear him. Does he talk about his wife like that when she's out of sight? How different is my other employee (whose tits are not any more "out there" than mine) from me? Do all tit-equipped persons not have the right to wear tank tops without inviting commentary on our tits? Seriously, when I wear a tank top, it's because it's fucking hot outside, not because I want men to talk to me about my breasts. I understand that a fair number of men are gonna *look* at my breasts, such as they are, but I assume and expect that men at large are polite enough to remain mute on the topic unless very specifically invited to comment.
Third, I hate how this situation has two responses and both of them suck. I can either go all explain-the-patriarchy to people (my dad, my professional plumber of choice, the plumber's helper) who are all dudes and will stand there looking at me like I'm fucking stupid and oversensitive and clearly beset by the problems of my gender OR I can to ignore it/pretend like it's OK. As a test case, I separated my dad from the herd and explained the problem to him. He did not understand why it was a problem. *sigh* He's kind of unreconstructed, but not an unfair example of how dudes think.
Damn it.
Yesterday at work, we had a guy we know (friend, customer, business associate, contractor) come to connect a sewer line. While he was there working on the project, he commented on one of our other employees, saying that one day in the summer while he was around, she was wearing a tank top with her tits on display. He wondered aloud why she didn't just go topless and do things up properly. (He seemed to feel that it was pointless to put 'em out there halfway where the male gaze couldn't really appreciate them fully.) *sigh*
First off, she could hear him and hearing him discuss her tits pissed her off. She felt it was ignorant and low-class of him to speak about her like that. I feel that if you want to be able to quietly and politely keep on ogling whatever tits and asses you can manage, you had best keep quiet about your ogling so that you don't spook the prey. But that's just me.
Secondly, that kind of shit generates a hostile workplace environment. I get along with the man, socially and in a business capacity. However, now I'm all wondering (as a tit-equipped and tank-top-wearing person) if he talks about me like that when he thinks I can't hear him. Does he talk about his wife like that when she's out of sight? How different is my other employee (whose tits are not any more "out there" than mine) from me? Do all tit-equipped persons not have the right to wear tank tops without inviting commentary on our tits? Seriously, when I wear a tank top, it's because it's fucking hot outside, not because I want men to talk to me about my breasts. I understand that a fair number of men are gonna *look* at my breasts, such as they are, but I assume and expect that men at large are polite enough to remain mute on the topic unless very specifically invited to comment.
Third, I hate how this situation has two responses and both of them suck. I can either go all explain-the-patriarchy to people (my dad, my professional plumber of choice, the plumber's helper) who are all dudes and will stand there looking at me like I'm fucking stupid and oversensitive and clearly beset by the problems of my gender OR I can to ignore it/pretend like it's OK. As a test case, I separated my dad from the herd and explained the problem to him. He did not understand why it was a problem. *sigh* He's kind of unreconstructed, but not an unfair example of how dudes think.
Damn it.