sadness
I was laid off right at the beggining of the month, i had less than 12 hours notice. Its been so hard and intense since then. I cant even begin to describe the kind of pressure i am under. I have been lying to my parents about my student loan and how much i have left owing on it. I told them i had around 1200 dollars left on it when i really have just over 3000. I just cant tell them how much i have left, it would crush them. And i have car payments to make, and i missed this month so i have to go in tomorrow and pay it in person. I dunno, i asked for it to be taken out on the 15th but they never take the money out when they are supposed to so it is super frustrating. But whatever. I am so so very sad too. I was a nanny and i fell in love with the little boy, and now he is gone. Its not that i am not looking after him any more but its the fact that his mom sent him to live with her parents for the summer and then her mom is coming to live with her for awhile. by the time her mom goes home is will be old enough for preschool which therefore means he does not need a nanny any more. Its just so hard to say good bye to him. He is such a special and unique little boy. He has such a sad life and he is only two. when i started loooking after him all he needed was someone to teach him to laugh and how to have fun, and i did that and now he is gone. He was this little ray of light and happiness in my life. Its so hard that he is gone. Even my mom has noticed a differance in me since i lost my job. I stopped eating healthy, and tired, stressed, and lost. I just dont know what to do about this and about what is happening to me. eh... whatever, its all the same in the end i guess