so yea
i hate long island bitches
i must say ....lately more than ever this year I have been getting into more fights with people at bars, whether it be guys,girls,men, older women. People just enjoy fucking with me....I think it's because they assume I look quiet or a certain way and think I won't have the balls to defend myself. Well think twice ....
My entire life people have been saying dumb, ignorant shit to me about my, "chinky eyes", being adopted and asian....they say the feel bad for me and i was so much of a burden no wonder why my birthmom gave me up.....but actually in reality I live a very privileged life. My parents worked their ass off to send me to a good school, private school nonetheless. I was always very involved with sports even though I sat the bench most of the time.....soccer,track,cheerleading,gymnastics, ballet,dance and also some art classes and piano lessons.
I realize people are always going to hate you for absolutely no reason. I miss my old job and working with the autistic mentally challenged....b.c it taught of pateince me a lot . It made me feel great to leave at the end of the day as if I was someone these guys could look up to and feel good around, even if it was only for a few hrs....to make their life feel as normal as possible.
There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about my birthmom and maybe yes if i was in korea....would i be happy??? Probably I assume yes. I would never know this other life....and as happy and grateful as I am and lucky to have been adopted by a beautiful family I still feel empty....no one and nothing will ever fill that void. I'm angry and bitter but also sad....I want so much to meet her for just a moment and see what she looks like or if she even wonders about me or cries at night....because I do. I'm happy she gave me up and I can't imagine ever having to give away a child but at the same time i dont understand. i wish she had left some information, even a name....but nothing. I go to the doctors all the time now because my health isn't in good shape right now....they always ask about my family history and everytime i tell them the same thing....I DON'T KNOW. I WAs adopted.....
i ALWAYS get ignorant co-workers that talk a lot of shit and say how bad they feel for me!? I wont even get into how racist people have been to me over the years and how I've kept that shit in. Now if someone looks at me the wrong way I'm ready to jump on them whether its 8 girls or 2 guys who are 50 pounds or even 500 pounds. I will always defend myself....I'm proud of being korean and where I come from. I know who my true friends are....I may be wild and crazy at times but everyone is and I just express my feelings much more than others. I don't apologize for the way that I am....and I would never ever change for someone else's benefit. This is me, take it or leave it. I'm done venting.......for now.
i must say ....lately more than ever this year I have been getting into more fights with people at bars, whether it be guys,girls,men, older women. People just enjoy fucking with me....I think it's because they assume I look quiet or a certain way and think I won't have the balls to defend myself. Well think twice ....
My entire life people have been saying dumb, ignorant shit to me about my, "chinky eyes", being adopted and asian....they say the feel bad for me and i was so much of a burden no wonder why my birthmom gave me up.....but actually in reality I live a very privileged life. My parents worked their ass off to send me to a good school, private school nonetheless. I was always very involved with sports even though I sat the bench most of the time.....soccer,track,cheerleading,gymnastics, ballet,dance and also some art classes and piano lessons.
I realize people are always going to hate you for absolutely no reason. I miss my old job and working with the autistic mentally challenged....b.c it taught of pateince me a lot . It made me feel great to leave at the end of the day as if I was someone these guys could look up to and feel good around, even if it was only for a few hrs....to make their life feel as normal as possible.
There is not a day that goes by that I dont think about my birthmom and maybe yes if i was in korea....would i be happy??? Probably I assume yes. I would never know this other life....and as happy and grateful as I am and lucky to have been adopted by a beautiful family I still feel empty....no one and nothing will ever fill that void. I'm angry and bitter but also sad....I want so much to meet her for just a moment and see what she looks like or if she even wonders about me or cries at night....because I do. I'm happy she gave me up and I can't imagine ever having to give away a child but at the same time i dont understand. i wish she had left some information, even a name....but nothing. I go to the doctors all the time now because my health isn't in good shape right now....they always ask about my family history and everytime i tell them the same thing....I DON'T KNOW. I WAs adopted.....
i ALWAYS get ignorant co-workers that talk a lot of shit and say how bad they feel for me!? I wont even get into how racist people have been to me over the years and how I've kept that shit in. Now if someone looks at me the wrong way I'm ready to jump on them whether its 8 girls or 2 guys who are 50 pounds or even 500 pounds. I will always defend myself....I'm proud of being korean and where I come from. I know who my true friends are....I may be wild and crazy at times but everyone is and I just express my feelings much more than others. I don't apologize for the way that I am....and I would never ever change for someone else's benefit. This is me, take it or leave it. I'm done venting.......for now.