imsorry.

[whereshestops]

im a professional
         at being the mess.

i feel stupid. i have no one to blame but myself. 
i bring things on to myself. and i think i am finally
realizing, im the one fucking up. i dont like who i am
right now. i wish i could rewind my life and do everything
differently. i want people to understand, im really not
ever intentionally trying to be a bitch. sometimes when
i say things they just come out the wrong way. but i am
not as bad of a person as people seem to think, and i do
care about other people. im not drinking anymore, at least
not nearly as much as i have been. i never used to drink
like this. and its getting me no where fast.

I wish i could show people the way things were instead of what i want them to see.

i cant even stand my thoughts anymore.