its been over two months since i've updated
so instead of updating myself on the lives of my friends (because i don't even know who still updates) i'll update the journal... and the people who read it, with an enrapturing story about a SNAKE
i wrote a private entry on here somewhere around 3-4 months ago that said something along the lines of "i need stability." i still don't have stability at all in the sense that i meant it then, but i have definitely found stability within myself ... but its a struggle... because i've realized (that at least for now) i can't manage to provide myself with stability and still be able to keep my friends and family stable too. for this i appologize, because its always been and always will be important to me(almost above all else) to be there for the people i love. but i've come the realization that i won't be much of a help to anyone soon if i don't get to where i need to be for me.
so theres that.
I went to the diseased's former place of residence at 9:00 AM today arriving half an hour late to meet the movers who were to move my life to a storage unit until i have a place to put said life... and i was in the front bedroom moving boxes of christmas ornaments off of the bed and looking at strings of christmas lights wondering how many i could put in my bedroom before it became too much and i was folding up a quilt thinking about how much i liked it and thinking about how simple it was. and then i was stripping the sheets quickly and carelessly because the movers had arrived and as my mother very astutely pointed out (as she tends to do) we were not quite prepared for them to come in and grab and go ... as we hoped we would be...
then i was lifting up the mattress and stripping it of the bed pad etc.
when i lifted the mattress, however, on the inside left - the side furthest from me and hardest to reach - i saw a
HUGE FUCKING SNAKE.
i want a pet snake. okay. i do not fear these slithery pals... but this motherfucker was 3" thick and so, i screamed bloody murder and ran out of the room.
the move has been rescheduled for thursday.
and shortly i will get to see how an exterminator handles getting rid of a snake that is most likely at least as long as i am tall. (truly it could be as little as 3' long... but thats still a huge fucking snake)
this is the first day i've had enough free time to write a journal entry since april.
thats not true.
this is the first day i've been willing to sit at a computer at my mothers house for more than an hour since april.
i can't sit still.
also, i wonder if the decision i made recently to act/ask will turn out well.
and by well i mean i hate starting new things because i have a huge fear of losing friends due to stupid reasons.
and i'm not gonna be able to take too much greif over this... to those of you who see me every day.
i didn't give any of you grief over the decisions you've made recently... so don't think you're different. if i catch it from you you're gonna get it back.
so theres that.
<3
i wrote a private entry on here somewhere around 3-4 months ago that said something along the lines of "i need stability." i still don't have stability at all in the sense that i meant it then, but i have definitely found stability within myself ... but its a struggle... because i've realized (that at least for now) i can't manage to provide myself with stability and still be able to keep my friends and family stable too. for this i appologize, because its always been and always will be important to me(almost above all else) to be there for the people i love. but i've come the realization that i won't be much of a help to anyone soon if i don't get to where i need to be for me.
so theres that.
I went to the diseased's former place of residence at 9:00 AM today arriving half an hour late to meet the movers who were to move my life to a storage unit until i have a place to put said life... and i was in the front bedroom moving boxes of christmas ornaments off of the bed and looking at strings of christmas lights wondering how many i could put in my bedroom before it became too much and i was folding up a quilt thinking about how much i liked it and thinking about how simple it was. and then i was stripping the sheets quickly and carelessly because the movers had arrived and as my mother very astutely pointed out (as she tends to do) we were not quite prepared for them to come in and grab and go ... as we hoped we would be...
then i was lifting up the mattress and stripping it of the bed pad etc.
when i lifted the mattress, however, on the inside left - the side furthest from me and hardest to reach - i saw a
HUGE FUCKING SNAKE.
i want a pet snake. okay. i do not fear these slithery pals... but this motherfucker was 3" thick and so, i screamed bloody murder and ran out of the room.
the move has been rescheduled for thursday.
and shortly i will get to see how an exterminator handles getting rid of a snake that is most likely at least as long as i am tall. (truly it could be as little as 3' long... but thats still a huge fucking snake)
this is the first day i've had enough free time to write a journal entry since april.
thats not true.
this is the first day i've been willing to sit at a computer at my mothers house for more than an hour since april.
i can't sit still.
also, i wonder if the decision i made recently to act/ask will turn out well.
and by well i mean i hate starting new things because i have a huge fear of losing friends due to stupid reasons.
and i'm not gonna be able to take too much greif over this... to those of you who see me every day.
i didn't give any of you grief over the decisions you've made recently... so don't think you're different. if i catch it from you you're gonna get it back.
so theres that.
<3