(no subject)
i hate myself so much.
Im ugly, fat, over dramaitc, a cry baby, a slut, a whore, a bitch...
I hate the fact that if I dont get my way I act like im a 5 yr. old brat. I hate the fact that im no longer pretty when I look in the mirror. All I see is the flaws in myself. I look in the mirror and see the pimples. The freckles. The fat. I think why dont these jeans fit the way they used to. Why aren't my eyes something amazing. That someone can catch from across the room, instead of these plain brown things. I think to myself why am I so pale. How come my hair frizzes.
I hate that I am just like every other girl. Always finding something thats just not good enough. I hate that im insecure.
I hate the fact that he dosent kiss me as much as he used to. He dosen't want to do anything anymore. I hate the dact that I am so worked up about this. I hate that I think he wants something more. And I pray that he likes me just they way I am. I just want to be perfect. Something he can never say no to. But girls like that dont exsist.
I wish that when he says that he loves me, there was a permenat lie decter built behind his ear. So I would always know if he was telling the truth.
Why am I so insecure. Why cant I just take peoples word for it. Why do I look for reasons to be upset. Do I like being unhappy. Sometimes I think I do.
I am so lucky. I have the best boyfriend in the world. He cares about me, he loves me, hes my everything. Words cant explain how much I love him. I just dont know how to belive that he feel the same way.
Ryan if ur reading this. Im sorry. I just hate the way I am. Its not ur fault.
Im ugly, fat, over dramaitc, a cry baby, a slut, a whore, a bitch...
I hate the fact that if I dont get my way I act like im a 5 yr. old brat. I hate the fact that im no longer pretty when I look in the mirror. All I see is the flaws in myself. I look in the mirror and see the pimples. The freckles. The fat. I think why dont these jeans fit the way they used to. Why aren't my eyes something amazing. That someone can catch from across the room, instead of these plain brown things. I think to myself why am I so pale. How come my hair frizzes.
I hate that I am just like every other girl. Always finding something thats just not good enough. I hate that im insecure.
I hate the fact that he dosent kiss me as much as he used to. He dosen't want to do anything anymore. I hate the dact that I am so worked up about this. I hate that I think he wants something more. And I pray that he likes me just they way I am. I just want to be perfect. Something he can never say no to. But girls like that dont exsist.
I wish that when he says that he loves me, there was a permenat lie decter built behind his ear. So I would always know if he was telling the truth.
Why am I so insecure. Why cant I just take peoples word for it. Why do I look for reasons to be upset. Do I like being unhappy. Sometimes I think I do.
I am so lucky. I have the best boyfriend in the world. He cares about me, he loves me, hes my everything. Words cant explain how much I love him. I just dont know how to belive that he feel the same way.
Ryan if ur reading this. Im sorry. I just hate the way I am. Its not ur fault.