The Plan....
Much like my compadre, Seth, I thoroughly dislike our work environment. I typically am not too vocal about it here on LJ. But those of you who know me, can attest to my neverending hatred. Anyway, back to my plan. The intent of this plan is to get laid off, so that I can collect unemployment and do absolutely nothing for a while.
1. make sure that I have the worst gas I can possibly produce. I am talking about the smell of hot garbage in the summer.
2. stop showering
3. stop washing clothes
4. wash myself with Ted's(my dog) urine. This will be extracted from the carpet using my Bissel Green Clean Machine
5. become a close talker. basically when I speak to people, I would get as close to them as possible while speaking
6. stop brushing my teeth. (helps with the close talking effect)
7. make passes at every girl at work, but never imply anything so that it doesn'y work against me in an HR situation
8. when using the bathroom, do not wipe
I think that this will generally offend people in a manner that they cannot fire me, but would guarantee my spot in the employee RIF. Therefore allowing me to pursue my dream of unemployment and doing absolutely nothing.
Any suggestions? Please comment.
Regards,
Your friendly nieghborhood serial killer
P.S.
I really like vagina and roses, and gladly accept donations of both.
Bye!
1. make sure that I have the worst gas I can possibly produce. I am talking about the smell of hot garbage in the summer.
2. stop showering
3. stop washing clothes
4. wash myself with Ted's(my dog) urine. This will be extracted from the carpet using my Bissel Green Clean Machine
5. become a close talker. basically when I speak to people, I would get as close to them as possible while speaking
6. stop brushing my teeth. (helps with the close talking effect)
7. make passes at every girl at work, but never imply anything so that it doesn'y work against me in an HR situation
8. when using the bathroom, do not wipe
I think that this will generally offend people in a manner that they cannot fire me, but would guarantee my spot in the employee RIF. Therefore allowing me to pursue my dream of unemployment and doing absolutely nothing.
Any suggestions? Please comment.
Regards,
Your friendly nieghborhood serial killer
P.S.
I really like vagina and roses, and gladly accept donations of both.
Bye!