karma is a bitch
last night, i sat in the same spot for five hours. i couldn't be around people. then after everyone left, i came out of my hole. couldn't sleep until my body forced me to at about 8 am. every time my mind wondered, i felt like i was going to explode with this intense energy, like my fist could destroy anything.
i am beyond confused. i feel played. like this is a a game. like my heart is being played with. but i don't know if thats the case, or if its a case of mutual confusion. it hurts. so bad. its my fault completely, and in every way. so i have no room to complain.
i really need to rise above this, but i don't think i will let myself. i feel like i find myself when i get like this, even though its painful, it feels like home. i can't explain myself. i take that back, i can explain myself, but i don't think anyone understands me. i am so weird.
i am beyond confused. i feel played. like this is a a game. like my heart is being played with. but i don't know if thats the case, or if its a case of mutual confusion. it hurts. so bad. its my fault completely, and in every way. so i have no room to complain.
i really need to rise above this, but i don't think i will let myself. i feel like i find myself when i get like this, even though its painful, it feels like home. i can't explain myself. i take that back, i can explain myself, but i don't think anyone understands me. i am so weird.