It's Time For You to Choose: the Bullet Or the Chapstick
:amen: 11/23
eat your heart out
and spit it on the page
let the blood spill
and form lies with your fingers
smear it till it sounds right
an unrecognizable mess of missives
a creative collection of conceits
regard my alliteration
as sarcasm for the soul
i'll regard your words
for the LIES they are
they won't get you very far
because i never lied to you
i never faked the way i held you
i don't hide from my feelings
but you
you hide behind your words
when i'm a phone call away
you hide behind your words
when i'm standing right beside you
you hide behind your words
with your hand on my throat
this is all wrong
you're right about that
but don't blame me for
your fear
your hesitation
your indecision
you said it wasn't time
i said time is no enemy
you fought with all your might
i used the pen
you used a sword
double edged to cut us both
deep
now you blame me for all the spilt blood
now you blame me for all the spilt tears
and i say i never touched the hilt
i told you to put it down, back away
take my hand
but you slit my wrists
and smiled
said "wait for the blood to dry"
that's when it's time
that's when i'll be ready
but i was long dead
and you're long gone
pure and innocent
white
naive
dishonest and afraid
now red, stained with blood
running down your cheek
flowing with the tears
helping them along
forming careful patterns
to express your sorrow
i knew all along you'd regret this
i knew all along you'd forget that
i hope you're thinking about that
hanging on your cross
a martyr
bloody martyr
you're no saint
it was suicide
literal
so who's going to bring you down?
you said i would
but i guess you can do it yourself
with those high spirits
you climbed up on that cross yourself
to make a spectacle
to make a mockery of what i gave
i gave everything i had
i never held back
but you
you backed away
removed your hand
distanced yourself
ran away
ran inside when i wanted to kiss you
told me "let's just be friends"
even when the distance to your door
seemed like an eternity through my eyes
i ran to your window
like the romeo you sought
and i called out "Juliet, oh Juliet, where for art thou?"
and to no reply I stormed the gates
and found you there
i bastioned my courage
and i spoke the words
girls die for
i proclaimed it all
and you denied me all in one breath
and i could have died for you
there was a time
but you let time slip away
you let my hand slip
you thought i was going to wait for you
but i don't play those games
you never planned on waiting for me
or at least you didn't share the plan with me
i'm curious to know
what exactly your expectations were
i'm curious to know
how perfect you thought we were
when you never told me
you never told me
you never told me
when i told you everything
eat your heart out
and spit it on the page
let the blood spill
and form lies with your fingers
smear it till it sounds right
an unrecognizable mess of missives
a creative collection of conceits
regard my alliteration
as sarcasm for the soul
i'll regard your words
for the LIES they are
they won't get you very far
because i never lied to you
i never faked the way i held you
i don't hide from my feelings
but you
you hide behind your words
when i'm a phone call away
you hide behind your words
when i'm standing right beside you
you hide behind your words
with your hand on my throat
this is all wrong
you're right about that
but don't blame me for
your fear
your hesitation
your indecision
you said it wasn't time
i said time is no enemy
you fought with all your might
i used the pen
you used a sword
double edged to cut us both
deep
now you blame me for all the spilt blood
now you blame me for all the spilt tears
and i say i never touched the hilt
i told you to put it down, back away
take my hand
but you slit my wrists
and smiled
said "wait for the blood to dry"
that's when it's time
that's when i'll be ready
but i was long dead
and you're long gone
pure and innocent
white
naive
dishonest and afraid
now red, stained with blood
running down your cheek
flowing with the tears
helping them along
forming careful patterns
to express your sorrow
i knew all along you'd regret this
i knew all along you'd forget that
i hope you're thinking about that
hanging on your cross
a martyr
bloody martyr
you're no saint
it was suicide
literal
so who's going to bring you down?
you said i would
but i guess you can do it yourself
with those high spirits
you climbed up on that cross yourself
to make a spectacle
to make a mockery of what i gave
i gave everything i had
i never held back
but you
you backed away
removed your hand
distanced yourself
ran away
ran inside when i wanted to kiss you
told me "let's just be friends"
even when the distance to your door
seemed like an eternity through my eyes
i ran to your window
like the romeo you sought
and i called out "Juliet, oh Juliet, where for art thou?"
and to no reply I stormed the gates
and found you there
i bastioned my courage
and i spoke the words
girls die for
i proclaimed it all
and you denied me all in one breath
and i could have died for you
there was a time
but you let time slip away
you let my hand slip
you thought i was going to wait for you
but i don't play those games
you never planned on waiting for me
or at least you didn't share the plan with me
i'm curious to know
what exactly your expectations were
i'm curious to know
how perfect you thought we were
when you never told me
you never told me
you never told me
when i told you everything