(no subject)
i want to do my best at each goal i set up for myself.
relationships are not something i tend to excel in.
talking is something i am AWFUL at, due to lack of trust in the majority of man-kind.
also due to past experiences of letting indivuals get to know EVERYTHING about me and then having them stomp on me in the end. therefore my final decision beginning of last summer was to not ever let anyone else know that much about me. that tactic worked for a while, but now that i am attempting to have a relationship that means a lot to me, it's not working out so hot. obviously my boyfriend wants to know the real me and after a year he wants to know what the hell is going on inside of my head. joshua, what you ask of me is not unpredictable or unacceptable at all. i am sorry i seem to find it so hard, i just can't seem to let the past go, and i am sorry. watching things tumble around between myself and someone i care SO much about breaks my heart. i feel as if i am failing, and letting him down immensely. i want to be the boy and the girl that we were a short time ago. i want you to be the boy who gives me butterflies and makes me do nothing but smile. i haven't found another person who makes me feel like you. i just want to see this work, and i want us to be happy.
relationships are not something i tend to excel in.
talking is something i am AWFUL at, due to lack of trust in the majority of man-kind.
also due to past experiences of letting indivuals get to know EVERYTHING about me and then having them stomp on me in the end. therefore my final decision beginning of last summer was to not ever let anyone else know that much about me. that tactic worked for a while, but now that i am attempting to have a relationship that means a lot to me, it's not working out so hot. obviously my boyfriend wants to know the real me and after a year he wants to know what the hell is going on inside of my head. joshua, what you ask of me is not unpredictable or unacceptable at all. i am sorry i seem to find it so hard, i just can't seem to let the past go, and i am sorry. watching things tumble around between myself and someone i care SO much about breaks my heart. i feel as if i am failing, and letting him down immensely. i want to be the boy and the girl that we were a short time ago. i want you to be the boy who gives me butterflies and makes me do nothing but smile. i haven't found another person who makes me feel like you. i just want to see this work, and i want us to be happy.