i know something you dont know . . .
it seems like hunter s. thompson died . . . i think i read that somewhere . . .
im 23 years old . . . im not where i want to be in life . . . im at work right now . . . monotony . . . the evil persuit of capitalism, which i cant lie and say i dont some times love . . . most of the time . . . i love shopping . . . it fills an eternal void in my life that i choose to leave open because im a maniac . . . i have nervous issues . . . i have germ issues . . . i have people issues . . . i have time issues . . . much to my regret, i have commitment issues . . . some issues . . . i walked past the laundry room in the sub bowels of my place of employment today and without thinking i told my coworker, not to breath - airborne germs! . . . sub bowels . . . place of employment . . . i wish i was a stay at home mom . . . i keep holding out for this fantastic dream of a traveler from a far away city that will come and not care about everything everyone else has heard and then ill be okay . . . hell be hot and hell be okay with ari and hell want to have a dog (only because bub likes dogs - i do not) and more importantly hell like me and he will sometimes have presents for me . . . he wont be pretentious and he wont be cool and he wont care what hes heard or what people say theyve heard . . . hell be understanding about my issues and try ot help me . . . because thats all i really need . . . i keep waiting for this mystery man . . . and then it bums me out and then i remember that thats not really real . . . and it doesnt really matter . . . i keep thinking about how i could be not in love and miserable but set for the most part and i could spend more time with bub . . . then i think about how much i hate spending time with people i dont even like . . . i hate mindless gift giving . . . i hate mindless gestures . . . i hate feelingless movements . . . i hate feeling like a marionette . . . i hate being in control . . . i hate not being in control . . . i hate spring - it rains too much and most of the time it smells like dirt and worms . . . it grosses me out . . . i hear i have no tact . . . i hear i dont care about other peoples feelings . . . someone just asked me if i was conquering the world . . . i havent had ramsis in forever . . . i want it . . . i need to get a bank account . . . i lack solidity . . . i lack sleep . . . i lack staples now . . . ha! . . . i lack double noodle . . . i lack reason on occasion - i hear that, sometimes, im what they call unreasonable . . . i lack a cigarette right now . . . i lack a car . . . i lack a real boyfriend . . . i lack minutes on my cell phone . . . i lack the need to launder my clothes, but i make myself . . . i lack work shoes without holes . . . i lack more than one work outfit . . . i lack concern . . . i lack an instate family . . . i think im maybe lacking in nutrition . . . i lack love . . .
im just lacking . . .
im going to take a hot shower . . . im going to put some laundry in . . . im going to think about how i dont have any food and awtch supernanny at 10 pm . . . call or come over if you want to witness the winter of my discontent . . . ha, reality bites . . . ah geez . . .
xoxoxox - j to the a to the s to the m to the i to the n to the mf'in e . . .
over and ouch . . .
im 23 years old . . . im not where i want to be in life . . . im at work right now . . . monotony . . . the evil persuit of capitalism, which i cant lie and say i dont some times love . . . most of the time . . . i love shopping . . . it fills an eternal void in my life that i choose to leave open because im a maniac . . . i have nervous issues . . . i have germ issues . . . i have people issues . . . i have time issues . . . much to my regret, i have commitment issues . . . some issues . . . i walked past the laundry room in the sub bowels of my place of employment today and without thinking i told my coworker, not to breath - airborne germs! . . . sub bowels . . . place of employment . . . i wish i was a stay at home mom . . . i keep holding out for this fantastic dream of a traveler from a far away city that will come and not care about everything everyone else has heard and then ill be okay . . . hell be hot and hell be okay with ari and hell want to have a dog (only because bub likes dogs - i do not) and more importantly hell like me and he will sometimes have presents for me . . . he wont be pretentious and he wont be cool and he wont care what hes heard or what people say theyve heard . . . hell be understanding about my issues and try ot help me . . . because thats all i really need . . . i keep waiting for this mystery man . . . and then it bums me out and then i remember that thats not really real . . . and it doesnt really matter . . . i keep thinking about how i could be not in love and miserable but set for the most part and i could spend more time with bub . . . then i think about how much i hate spending time with people i dont even like . . . i hate mindless gift giving . . . i hate mindless gestures . . . i hate feelingless movements . . . i hate feeling like a marionette . . . i hate being in control . . . i hate not being in control . . . i hate spring - it rains too much and most of the time it smells like dirt and worms . . . it grosses me out . . . i hear i have no tact . . . i hear i dont care about other peoples feelings . . . someone just asked me if i was conquering the world . . . i havent had ramsis in forever . . . i want it . . . i need to get a bank account . . . i lack solidity . . . i lack sleep . . . i lack staples now . . . ha! . . . i lack double noodle . . . i lack reason on occasion - i hear that, sometimes, im what they call unreasonable . . . i lack a cigarette right now . . . i lack a car . . . i lack a real boyfriend . . . i lack minutes on my cell phone . . . i lack the need to launder my clothes, but i make myself . . . i lack work shoes without holes . . . i lack more than one work outfit . . . i lack concern . . . i lack an instate family . . . i think im maybe lacking in nutrition . . . i lack love . . .
im just lacking . . .
im going to take a hot shower . . . im going to put some laundry in . . . im going to think about how i dont have any food and awtch supernanny at 10 pm . . . call or come over if you want to witness the winter of my discontent . . . ha, reality bites . . . ah geez . . .
xoxoxox - j to the a to the s to the m to the i to the n to the mf'in e . . .
over and ouch . . .