still waiting...
you know that feeling when everythings perfect when your with that one person ? who seems to no matter what be able to grace your life with this amazing feeling that words would never ever be able to give justice to ? i've finally found that someone whose been able to show me what love is. admittingly i am surprised that out of everyone, he's what i really needed in the end. never did i feel relucant to giving " us " a try, back then i was naive and was oblivious to what he offered. now that we've been dating for a couple months it's just something that whenever i talk about a smile adorns my face. i giggle like a little girl and it's like wow i'm falling in love with this man. we both know how we feel for each other but, taking it slow and the process of getting to know each other is just still in effect and will be for a while. i don't want to rush anything anymore, i'll wait for as long as i have to. it scares me how much i'm starting to like this boy, it really does.
we haven't seen each other in over two weeks, barely get to talk on the phone, it took its toll on me. i questioned whether or not i meant to him as much as he said. if i was of value to him, if i was worthy of his time. which i didn't think he thought i was. i try calling every night, trying to see maybe if i can see him, always a " sorry i'm tired " , " i really want to go to the gym " , or just another listening to his voicemail. he's always busy and never calls which makes me feel inadequate. i tried calling last night but, he was tired so i didn't keep him long enough to just pour my heart out. i know that no matter what i'll wait for him but, i don't want to be pushed aside like i was just another fuck, that's not how i want to be feeling. we'll see, however this ends i still and always will care. it's in my nature, i put them first and myself second. where do your priorities lay ?
we haven't seen each other in over two weeks, barely get to talk on the phone, it took its toll on me. i questioned whether or not i meant to him as much as he said. if i was of value to him, if i was worthy of his time. which i didn't think he thought i was. i try calling every night, trying to see maybe if i can see him, always a " sorry i'm tired " , " i really want to go to the gym " , or just another listening to his voicemail. he's always busy and never calls which makes me feel inadequate. i tried calling last night but, he was tired so i didn't keep him long enough to just pour my heart out. i know that no matter what i'll wait for him but, i don't want to be pushed aside like i was just another fuck, that's not how i want to be feeling. we'll see, however this ends i still and always will care. it's in my nature, i put them first and myself second. where do your priorities lay ?