"Ohh ohh I gotta go and find me, ohh ohh she found the strength to break free..."
So today is the "Big Day," the day I go on my first big adventure! Governor’s School East 2009...wow! I never thought this time last year I would be taking such a grand plunge into the unknown. As I sit here in the backseat of my papaw’s Toyota Tacoma I can feel the butterflies swarming in my stomach. I’ve never been away from home for a extended period of time before. Never been to summer camp. Never been camping. Never really gone out on my own. Strangely enough I’m not as scared as I thought I would be…
I’m listening to Taylor Swift’s "Fearless" and can’t help but smile at the lyrics. I truly feel like Governor’s School is going to be a change for me. A chance to get away from what I know and a chance to find myself again. This school year has been by far the most challenging. Everything that could have gone wrong…did. My classes were harder than they have ever been. AP Calculus officially implanted a hate for math inside of me and I am so relieved to be done with that hell. I lost my great grandfather this year, a man I always admired and miss immensely. My heart has had to go through a lot of turmoil after a breakup with the boy I still care about more than any other. After being taken basically a year, it was both frightening and awkward "dating" other people and I instantly realized exactly why I wasn’t dating any of the other assholes out there. The club that I have poured my heart into feel apart this year, breaking my heart and discouraging me more than anyone could have ever guessed.
Yep…Junior Year sucked. But that is all behind me now…Thank God! I’m ready to start fresh. Meet new people. Try new things. Step out of my comfort zone. People may think that I have everything figured out which flatters me, but the truth is I’ve lost myself a bit this year. I’m confident in myself and know I can be anything I want to be but it’s time for me to go find myself again. I need to find the girl whose confidence is more than just an act. Luckily, I don’t think it will take very long to find her…she never really left, she just needs to be let out of the closet she’s been hiding in…..
Oh wow…I just refered to myself in third person hahaha Didn’t expect to get this insightful!
I think what I’m most excited about is meeting new people. This used to terrify me when I was younger, probably because I was bad with change. I’m very social but not knowing anyone in a new situation petrified me more than anything. I’m going to miss my friends so much this summer but I know they support me in whatever I do and will be waiting for me to return home. J I’m such a lucky girl to have people who have encouraged me to pursue my dreams by letting me persue my dreams and still letting me know I have them to fall back on.
Can't wait to tell you all about my stories and adventures here!