co dependent state
so my co dependent state may be back, i have had a couple of really bad nights, lack of sleep, something was brought up a while back, and brought up again with family yesterday, now i cannot get it out of my head. no time for meetings, so i went to my message board, (well not mine) but anyways i read this ladies post and it really disturbed me. well a lot of them did, but this one i really hurt for her.
getting worse, did i do the right thing?
my daughter, has walked out of 2 rehabs, and after the last one we told her she couldnt live with us this time, so she went back to her flat. i told her i needed time away from her, and ive spoken to her a few times, but havnt seen her, although she tells me she is clean from heroin since she left rehab. im not so sure. anyway, she phoned me this afternoon, crying and in a state, asking for her dad (who refuses to speak to her since the last walk-out) she said there was a man in her flat, who wouldnt leave, and was threatening to shoot her. she was phoning from a call box, and said shed been outside in the rain cos she was afraid to go back in. we said phone the police, but she said she had and they said there was no-one there, checked one room, then left. she phoned again and they said she was wasting police time, and wouldnt come out again. then she called us again, and said he keeps calling out from her flat that he will kill her. my husband and i went over there, she was soaking wet and refused to go in the flat. eventually, we all went tnside the hovel she calls home, and she said "listen hes whispering again" we asked where she thought he was, and she said he was inside the sofa.!! suddenly she tried to leave again, because he had just told her to get out or hell shoot her. SHE SWORE SHE HADNT TAKEN ANYTHING! finally, she said shed taken crack that morning, and now she was paranoid. she looked like ****, one part of me wanted to cuddle her, as she was suffering and scared, but the other part wanted to smack her one! we checked the rooms for any murderers, then said " its in your head, you knew how crack affects you, you swore you would never take it again, now you live with it,your problem , not ours. she said she couldnt stay there with this imaginary man, could she come with us, NO. was our answer! we left her there, pleading not to be shot. i thought wed been through it all with the heroin, now crack is in the picture too. did we do the right thing? should we have brought her home with us? i keep thinking what hell it must be for her, but she chose to do this. i feel like getting an injuntion out to ban her from contacting or coming near us. i know this time i have to dis-own her, no half measures, that dosnt work with her. im afraid she will end up killing herself if she feels that tormented, but i cant see her in that paranoia state, it breaks my heart. what do i do now.
can you even imagine?