(no subject)
this world keeps growing around me and sometimes i fear that it will swallow me whole. sometimes i feel so outta the loop that i dont think that ill ever fit back in. but its alright. i dont really mind. i dont give a shit about anything anymore. words mean nothing, promises are a bore. and all i want to do is see her tonight.
i get in these weird moods and i keep myself down. im my own cocain. im my own heavy stone. and i dont think thatll ever change. i dont want to feel anymore. i want to be numb. i dont want to feel tense and i dont want to feel tied down. but its too late to turn back now. why do i feel so guilty, what is it that ive done. these frustrations are slowly building, and its getting easier for me to look in your eyes and lie. im sorry. i realized tonight that its true, someday ill just pick up and leave. youll probably be the best thing thats ever happened to me, but ill still leave. ill always leave. you deserve better, anyway, than me. i feel like im holding my breath alot more lately. walking on eggshells to watch what i say. and my lungs feel like their constantly burning, cause im left gasping for air whenever you leave. im bearly breathing now in this stuffy apartment, but its keeping me alive. yet theres no where id rather be tonight than anywhere you are. and i know its killing me.
its never going to be enough but thats not the point. i feel like the entire next year is planned out for me. and i just want to get free. i need some time by myself, maybe we should take a break. i wont lie, the thoughts crossed my mind. im going to go out and get a tattoo on some lonely night without you. itll be bold and itll be black and it will contrast perfectly against my pale skin. your skin tone complements me quite perfectly. "please remember all the things that i never got a chance to say." sometimes i think that this love is a bit too much for me to handle. were living this very adult lifestyle and im pretty sure that im a bit too young. sometimes i like to day dream that you and me will last forever. but im pretty sure that your not enough to satisfy me. im far too greedy. and some days i feel like im falling out of love with you.
its a long way down but i feel alright. weve got a ways to go before we hit the end of the road. and its comforting at least to know that youll be there when i hit the ground. you know the girl that you said id meet someday. well ive got something to confess, i know that girl is you. i think about you all the time. its strange and hard to deal. happy and sad and back again it seems to be my daily route. im sorry about every kiss, every kiss that you wasted on me. and im starting to think that what steph said was true. im going to die alone and sad. i see your face, i hear you voice, i touch you skin and its starting to hurt. its starting to hurt. stephs coming back again. were not the same people at all but ill still hold my breath. id give you everything tonight just to know that well be ok. but im thinking that summers going to be suicide, and id do anything to stop time. i should just walk away now while i know i still can. but i can still smell you on my pillow. and the minute your away i wonder why i miss you like i do. i knew that falling in love meant that someone would get their heart broken. and im sorry that that persons going to be you. consider this my apology. this pathetic odd sort of love poem. cause when im bitter and speechless and left all alone ill confess that i just want to die without you.
i get in these weird moods and i keep myself down. im my own cocain. im my own heavy stone. and i dont think thatll ever change. i dont want to feel anymore. i want to be numb. i dont want to feel tense and i dont want to feel tied down. but its too late to turn back now. why do i feel so guilty, what is it that ive done. these frustrations are slowly building, and its getting easier for me to look in your eyes and lie. im sorry. i realized tonight that its true, someday ill just pick up and leave. youll probably be the best thing thats ever happened to me, but ill still leave. ill always leave. you deserve better, anyway, than me. i feel like im holding my breath alot more lately. walking on eggshells to watch what i say. and my lungs feel like their constantly burning, cause im left gasping for air whenever you leave. im bearly breathing now in this stuffy apartment, but its keeping me alive. yet theres no where id rather be tonight than anywhere you are. and i know its killing me.
its never going to be enough but thats not the point. i feel like the entire next year is planned out for me. and i just want to get free. i need some time by myself, maybe we should take a break. i wont lie, the thoughts crossed my mind. im going to go out and get a tattoo on some lonely night without you. itll be bold and itll be black and it will contrast perfectly against my pale skin. your skin tone complements me quite perfectly. "please remember all the things that i never got a chance to say." sometimes i think that this love is a bit too much for me to handle. were living this very adult lifestyle and im pretty sure that im a bit too young. sometimes i like to day dream that you and me will last forever. but im pretty sure that your not enough to satisfy me. im far too greedy. and some days i feel like im falling out of love with you.
its a long way down but i feel alright. weve got a ways to go before we hit the end of the road. and its comforting at least to know that youll be there when i hit the ground. you know the girl that you said id meet someday. well ive got something to confess, i know that girl is you. i think about you all the time. its strange and hard to deal. happy and sad and back again it seems to be my daily route. im sorry about every kiss, every kiss that you wasted on me. and im starting to think that what steph said was true. im going to die alone and sad. i see your face, i hear you voice, i touch you skin and its starting to hurt. its starting to hurt. stephs coming back again. were not the same people at all but ill still hold my breath. id give you everything tonight just to know that well be ok. but im thinking that summers going to be suicide, and id do anything to stop time. i should just walk away now while i know i still can. but i can still smell you on my pillow. and the minute your away i wonder why i miss you like i do. i knew that falling in love meant that someone would get their heart broken. and im sorry that that persons going to be you. consider this my apology. this pathetic odd sort of love poem. cause when im bitter and speechless and left all alone ill confess that i just want to die without you.