(no subject)
last night, i hung out with a few friends that i haven't really seen in a long time. it made me realize that no matter how much we all want it, we will never be as close as we were last summer. a summer i will never forget. i sat on megans bed and just watched and thought about things, i've come to the realization that they have all taught me something different. every single one of them. i spent so much time with these people which means they automatically hold a special place in my heart forever. when we were all friends, i always had someone to turn to. they mean so much to me, all of them. i want them to know that even if things will never be the same, that i'm always here for them and that i will always love them because that summer is a summer i will remember forever. thank you, AJ, Mike, Bev, Megan, Nicole, Bri, Steph, Heather, and Bobby. i<3youall. forever.
i also talked to a cousin of mine today that i haven't really seen in awhile, of course she brought up dating. i tried to stay away from it because my "dating" stories are ridiculous and out of control and not normal at all. but my sister jumped in with a few words, and made me finish the story. she really drilled into my head a few important things. i need to stop focusing on boys and start focusing on my life. i pretty much base my life boys and relationships, i'm a senior in high school, have not taken my SATs and have no idea where i want to go to college yet. these are the important things, priority's that i have to take into serious consideration like real soon. she told me that i am extremely to young to be in a serious relationship and i completely agree with her. i guess i just feel like i'm completely alone without a boy in my life. i really need to start growing up like a tiny bit and realize that after high school, i'm pretty much on my own. high school ends in LESS THE A YEAR. honestly, it freaked me out.
i want to:
- go down the shore with emily and sit on the beach and drink coffee, wear hoodies, and just talk.
- i want to get dressed up for halloween this year
- i want to start paying close attention to colleges and school.
- i want to hang out with people in my school, in my grade
- i want to go to an indoor party with a lot of intoxicated people and just have crazy fun.
- i want to go pumpkin picking.
- i want to meet new people and make new friends, keep the old, but meet other ones so i have some variety in my life.
- i want to save a lot of money
- i want to quit smoking
- i want to be able to be in a room with certain people without there being any tension.
- i want to stop drinking so much and have some sober fun nights
- i want to go on a roadtrip with awesome people
- i want to get my priority's straight.
- i want to stop getting so angry that i can actually feel myself getting heated up to the point where i get sick. (yeah this actually happens, a lot.)
i also talked to a cousin of mine today that i haven't really seen in awhile, of course she brought up dating. i tried to stay away from it because my "dating" stories are ridiculous and out of control and not normal at all. but my sister jumped in with a few words, and made me finish the story. she really drilled into my head a few important things. i need to stop focusing on boys and start focusing on my life. i pretty much base my life boys and relationships, i'm a senior in high school, have not taken my SATs and have no idea where i want to go to college yet. these are the important things, priority's that i have to take into serious consideration like real soon. she told me that i am extremely to young to be in a serious relationship and i completely agree with her. i guess i just feel like i'm completely alone without a boy in my life. i really need to start growing up like a tiny bit and realize that after high school, i'm pretty much on my own. high school ends in LESS THE A YEAR. honestly, it freaked me out.
i want to:
- go down the shore with emily and sit on the beach and drink coffee, wear hoodies, and just talk.
- i want to get dressed up for halloween this year
- i want to start paying close attention to colleges and school.
- i want to hang out with people in my school, in my grade
- i want to go to an indoor party with a lot of intoxicated people and just have crazy fun.
- i want to go pumpkin picking.
- i want to meet new people and make new friends, keep the old, but meet other ones so i have some variety in my life.
- i want to save a lot of money
- i want to quit smoking
- i want to be able to be in a room with certain people without there being any tension.
- i want to stop drinking so much and have some sober fun nights
- i want to go on a roadtrip with awesome people
- i want to get my priority's straight.
- i want to stop getting so angry that i can actually feel myself getting heated up to the point where i get sick. (yeah this actually happens, a lot.)