SNL/S60/false ships/Glenn Close drives me crazy

[whenidream]

1. I can't get over how much I love this sketch. It makes my life every time I watch it.
   
2. God, Studio 60 is so good. It's absurd. It should be illegal for any show to be this excellent. It is literally just like...the West Wing, except on the set of a TV show, and it's more ideological. And more personal. I think I cry at the end of about 75% of the episodes. Not because of PMS, either.
3. Man, I've had so many epic ships this year. Patty/Raymond, Patty/Frobisher, Patty/Daniel (remember when she told him to put his head between his legs? That was awesome), Ben/Locke, Allison/Karen, Allison/Ethan, Allison/Bill, Allison/Ethan/Henry, Ethan/Ben, Karen/Ethan...okay, the last few really just exhibit my desire for everyone on 24 to get it on, but regardless, it's been an absolutely fabulous time. And not one of these ships is an actual relationship. So I think that's pretty impressive.
4. I really enjoy the love/hate relationship I have with Glenn Close. For example, whenever she sings or picks her own wardrobe, I really want to slap her. I know that sounds really cruel, and I would never act on it, but that's just how I feel. She acts like she just fucking discovered vibrato, and then she's like "pshh I'm Glenn Close; I can wear whatever I want and it'll be sexy" except that is SO FALSE. And then on the other hand, whenever she does that crazy Glenn Close bitch thing she does (mostly just when she bitches out Ellen on Damages, or when she yells at someone in a limo), I want to jump her. More than I generally want to jump anyone. I am so, so serious. I'm just wrapped up in this twisted web of hate and being really turned on, and just when I think I feel one way, the other way comes out of nowhere. But I've mostly learned to avoid this by just watching her on Damages and not watching clips of Sunset Boulevard on youtube. Although I accidentally do that all the time. I'm always like "nah, it can't be as horrifying as I remember" and IT ALWAYS IS. But I think hating her pretty often is good, because it makes it easier to be attracted to her. You know on that episode of Will & Grace, when Grace and Jeremy Piven would fight over some ridiculous, trivial thing, and then (and only then) do they feel the desire for sex? It's pretty much exactly like that. Man, do I have unresolved issues. It's okay. I love them.
5. I am so terrible at going to bed. Okay, I mean it this time.