Come Together
Title: Come Together
Author: Mrs. Muir aka whenbuffysmiles
Fandom: American Idol RPS
Pairing: Kris Allen / Adam Lambert
Rating: NC-17
Beta: joannacullen
Summary: WIP - Take the American Idol journey with Kradam. As the show progresses so does their relationship. But is it just a fling or are they willing to make the sacrifices necessary to make it last beyond the finale?
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. Kris and Adam belong only to themselves.
Warnings: Drug use
Previous Chapters
Chapter 29
After Adam got over the initial hurt of Kris’s remark, he got pissed off. He stormed out of their room without saying anything and didn’t stop until he was outside, and even then he couldn’t stop moving. A part of him wanted to drop on his knees and beg Kris not to be mad at him. Another part of him wanted to tell Kris that they were over, but he knew he couldn’t. He was in love with Kris.
Adam was afraid of the power he'd given to Kris. He knew from experience how that power, in the wrong hands, had hurt him deeply before. Once again, he'd allowed himself to become entirely wrapped up in someone else, even after he'd promised himself he wouldn't. He'd given control to someone else over not only his happiness, but possibly his future as well.
There was a part of him that wanted to do poorly on Idol so Kris could succeed and be happy because of it, but he knew that if he did, it carried the potential to ruin their relationship just as much as him winning. However, he did admit that Kris was right about one thing. Either they would make it as equals or they would walk away the same way.
Stopping his relentless pacing, he dropped to the ground. Stretching out on his back, he gazed up at the stars and he felt a smile grace his face. This was Kris territory and he wished the other man were there to play his guitar for him. He felt so conflicted, as negative emotions pummeled his heart again.
Adam flipped open his phone and called the only person he’d really talked to outside his family about Kris.
“Hey darling,” Drake answered. “How’s it going in Tinseltown?”
“Shitty,” Adam said. Out of politeness, he added. “How are you?”
“How could it be shitty after that standing O?” When Adam didn’t say anything, Drake added, “Okay, apparently it can be. You called me for a reason so spill it.”
Adam laughed. He knew when he called Drake that it would be this easy to be understood, and that was the same reason he'd told Drake about his relationship with Kris.
“Kris was upset about his performance tonight on Idol and he said that he resented that I did so well.” It sounded ugly when Adam said it, but then he supposed it was ugly.
“What a little asshole,” Drake said.
“No, he’s not.” It was automatic to defend Kris even if Kris didn’t deserve it for this action. “Yes, for this, maybe." Adam gave up. "Okay, yeah he was being an asshole.”
“He should have been congratulating you for being so damn wonderful. Not whining because he sucked.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Talk to him,” Drake laughed. “Dump him, fuck him or whatever, but you've got to do something. It's not good to avoid."
“I don’t even want to see him. God only knows what I’d say to him if we got into it again.”
"Maybe you need to stop being Mr. Nice Guy," Drake said softly. "You've given a lot in this relationship. Tell him that you're tired of always being understanding. That you just want to have a fucking good time for a change and he needs to quit being a damn drama queen."
"Nice," Adam drawled. "I remember why I was never more than friends with you. You're too high maintenance for me."
"That's because you're high maintenance, and your boy needs to start maintaining you before someone else does."
"Oh, that reminds me," Adam said, snapping his fingers.
"What?"
"Lana fixed me up with this guy who was the most annoying thing on two feet," Adam said.
"Please, do tell about this fix up."
"I said he was annoying," Adam laughed.
"Bummer," Drake sighed. "If he's so bad, why bother me with it?"
"Bored already, huh?"
"Yeah, thrill of my week,"
"Well, this should perk you up," Adam laughed. "Chase works in Art Dennison's gallery here in LA. Thought if you're ever in town, we could drop by and visit."
"Now, you have my attention."
"Thought it would," Adam picked a blade of grass. He slid his fingers along its damp smooth stalk while he let his mind drift, but it kept coming back to Kris.
"Go talk to him, Adam," Drake said, without a trace of teasing. "You're not going to be happy until you figure this out."
"You're right. Damn it. I swore I would never let anyone tie me up in knots like this."
"Unfortunately, hon, we don't pick where our hearts land. We can only do the best we can with it."
"Thanks. I appreciate you listening to me."
"No problem," Drake said. "So, since you brought it up, do you mind if I head out that way?"
"Really? Oh my god, that would be great," Adam said. It had been so long since he'd seen his friend and found himself excited at an impending visit.
"Okay, I'll make the plans and send you the information."
"Do it. Love ya, Drake and thank you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll send you a bill in the morning."
Adam smiled as he shut his phone. It was time to take care of his problem and maybe get things back on track, but not yet. He took a moment to stare up at the constellations, wondering how amazing it would feel to float among the stars. He knew it could never be as good as holding Kris in his arms.
The sound of footsteps broke through his wonderings, right before a shadow fell across him. It was Kris. He sat up, but as he went to stand up, Kris crouched next to him.
"Hey," Kris said, wearing a tentative smile.
It was clear to see that he wasn't easy about this talk. Adam knew he had a choice to make, be an asshole, too, and make this tough on Kris or be as understanding as he could be just one last time. He decided not to be an asshole. "Hey yourself."
"Can we talk?'
"Sure," Adam bit his lip trying to keep from saying anything sarcastic. His usual fighting style was to curse, scream and throw things, but he held back. "What's up?"
"A big apology," Kris leaned back on his hands so he could put his legs out in front of him. He curled one leg so that it rested against Adam's thigh and looked up at the stars. "I'm sorry for hurting you. Really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"
"A bottle of gold Patron and a good blowjob," Adam smirked.
That made Kris laugh as he finally looked at Adam. "I guess you'll be going out for the night, huh?"
"Whatever," Adam teased. Maybe he shouldn't have made a joke about wanting a good blowjob because he knew Kris was sensitive about his ability to please Adam sexually. In those times, he wished he could just let go when they were together. If he could take Kris like he wanted, and was able to make as much noise as he wanted, he didn't think that Kris would ever doubt his abilities again. "Not in the mood to put out tonight, huh?"
Kris plucked a blade of grass, running his fingers over it before tossing it aside. "Adam, I always want you, but sex isn't going to make our problems go away."
"No, it's not," Adam squeezed the inside of Kris's leg and left it resting there. "Not that long ago, when one of us had a bad time we'd talk it out," Adam said so softly that Kris could barely hear him. "There wasn't a thing that we didn't talk about. Fuck, I even told you things I've never told anyone else and never before tonight did I feel like there was a wall between us." He tried to shrug away the hurt fear that crept up on him as he spoke. "We supported each other and now you resent me because you had a bad week. What changed?"
"Everything, Adam," Kris said. He pulled his knees up to wrap his arms around them. For a brief second he retreated by burying his face in them, but lifted his head quickly. "Everything in my life has changed in the last couple of weeks," he stared into Adam's eyes. "Except for my music and you, but tonight I felt like I was losing my chance to do something with my music."
"Don’t let them make you feel that way," Adam said. "You're good and you know it. Hell, they know it. Maybe the pit didn't turn out the way you wanted, but you wanted to try something new and that takes guts. Better than just standing behind the microphone and singing."
"Thanks," Kris ducked his head again, running his hand through his hair. "Adam, I'm really sorry. It was a lousy way to say you were kick awesome tonight."
"There's my Kristopher," Adam said, relieved that he didn't see any indication that Kris wasn't being honest. He reached for him, but then remembered they were in full view of the mansion. With regret, he let his arm drop, but was surprised when Kris came to him anyway. They settled beside each other on the grass. "What if someone sees us?" Adam caressed Kris's face with feather light fingertips.
"A part of me doesn't care," Kris buried his face against his chest. "I want everyone to know about us. Unfortunately, we both know it's not a smart move for either of us. I guess we need to get back to our room."
"Hey," Adam moved so he could look at Kris. "You know that when we can go public, I'm showing you off to everyone. You'll see that I do know how to properly date someone."
"You better," Kris said, smiling. He cupped Adam's cheek. "I only ever want to make you happy and I was totally a jerk tonight."
"No, you weren't," Adam insisted, even though they both knew Kris was right.
"Let's get back to our room so I can show you how good I can be," Kris scrambled to his feet and held his hand out to help Adam up.
Maybe sex couldn’t solve their problems, but it sure was a good place to hide from them. Adam believed Kris when he said he was sorry for his remark, but he wasn't sure whatever had been bothering Kris was gone. Tonight he didn't want to fight. He would rather be making love and hope that things would work out.
~~~~~
Kris, panting hard, rolled off Adam to lie on his back. He kept their fingers entwined. He had no clue of how they were ever going to be able to function through the results show and all the rehearsals before the broadcast, but at the moment, he didn't care. Making love to Adam as much as he could was more important.
"Damn," Adam said, before turning his head toward Kris. "I think you've broken me."
"Me? Broken you? Whatever," Kris laughed. "I think all I'd have to say is again and Big Daddy would be raring to go."
"Probably would," Adam glanced down his body. "Yeah, he's trying to raise an interest."
Kris licked Adam's nipple and said, "I'm starving. Want to go raid the kitchen?"
"Are you serious, man?"
"Yeah actually, I am. I was too upset at dinner to eat much and you've worn me into physical exhaustion. I need sustenance."
"It was your idea to do the riding," Adam reminded him, but was already rolling out of bed. "Let's go see what we can find."
Kris was thankful that Adam couldn't see him because he was sure his face was bright red. Slowly, he was realizing that sex could be just fun, and with Adam it was easy to feel that way.
"Let's go," Adam said, already clothed, and threw his hands out. "I thought you were starving."
"I am, I am," Kris finished pulling up his sleep pants, and grabbed a t-shirt to pull on. "Let's go."
The mansion was quiet as they hurried down to the kitchen. Kris kept bumping into Adam on the way or Adam would lean against him. They were both still recovering from coming undone together. Kris's body was tingling from the things Adam had done to him.
"Okay, what are you in the mood for?" Adam asked as he pulled open the refrigerator door.
Kris slipped under Adam's arm to stand in front of him so he could see what was in the refrigerator. Adam nipped the back of his neck where it curved into this shoulder. It sent a shiver down his spine as Kris leaned back into Adam. Twice that night they were pushing the boundaries of what they should do where someone could see them.
"Ooh, there's still leftover fried chicken from when Lil cooked the other night," Kris said, grabbing the Ziploc bag. "I love her chicken." He handed it to Adam. "And yep, still potato salad." He handed that to Adam as he bent to root around in the fruit drawer. "And plums."
"Grab the strawberries if there's any left," Adam said, grabbing plates and forks. "Oh yeah, and tea."
"Starting to like the sweet tea, aren't you?" Kris asked, but already knew the answer. Adam did.
In no time at all, they were sitting at the counter with full plates in front of them. It was like the horrible time from between when he sang in the pit to when he'd hurt Adam had never happened. Kris refused to think about it, not now when everything was going so well between them again.
"Oh, I was talking to Drake earlier," Adam said, holding a strawberry up to Kris's lips. Kris obliged, opening his mouth and biting off the fruit and leaving the stem between Adam's fingers. Adam reveled in watching Kris's mouth close around the fleshy fruit. "He's coming out for a visit."
"Drake's coming to L.A.," Kris repeated when he finally swallowed. "When?"
"Not sure," Adam said. "He's going to send the details once his plans are set. I can't wait for you to meet him."
"That's great," Kris said, smiling. "I can't wait to meet him either."
It was funny, but Kris knew he was ready to meet Adam's friends. It was time to move forward into that one day after the show was over and maybe it was better to take small steps toward that while they still had the security of Idol. Kris smiled because he realized he no longer felt the resentment he had earlier that evening. It was all temporary stuff when it came to the big picture of their relationship, and he was more than anxious for that relationship to officially start.
"What are you smiling about?" Adam asked, running his toe over Kris's foot.
"You," Kris said, coyly. "You about done with food?"
Adam looked down at his half-eaten plate, and then back up at Kris. "Yeah, I think I am." He grinned. "Race you back upstairs."
"You're on," Kris grinned. "First one there gets to choose."
Adam was gone, leaving his plate on the counter. Kris shook his head before cleaning up. It didn't matter. Whatever Adam chose was going to be fun anyway.
…to be continued
Author: Mrs. Muir aka whenbuffysmiles
Fandom: American Idol RPS
Pairing: Kris Allen / Adam Lambert
Rating: NC-17
Beta: joannacullen
Summary: WIP - Take the American Idol journey with Kradam. As the show progresses so does their relationship. But is it just a fling or are they willing to make the sacrifices necessary to make it last beyond the finale?
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. Kris and Adam belong only to themselves.
Warnings: Drug use
Previous Chapters
Chapter 29
After Adam got over the initial hurt of Kris’s remark, he got pissed off. He stormed out of their room without saying anything and didn’t stop until he was outside, and even then he couldn’t stop moving. A part of him wanted to drop on his knees and beg Kris not to be mad at him. Another part of him wanted to tell Kris that they were over, but he knew he couldn’t. He was in love with Kris.
Adam was afraid of the power he'd given to Kris. He knew from experience how that power, in the wrong hands, had hurt him deeply before. Once again, he'd allowed himself to become entirely wrapped up in someone else, even after he'd promised himself he wouldn't. He'd given control to someone else over not only his happiness, but possibly his future as well.
There was a part of him that wanted to do poorly on Idol so Kris could succeed and be happy because of it, but he knew that if he did, it carried the potential to ruin their relationship just as much as him winning. However, he did admit that Kris was right about one thing. Either they would make it as equals or they would walk away the same way.
Stopping his relentless pacing, he dropped to the ground. Stretching out on his back, he gazed up at the stars and he felt a smile grace his face. This was Kris territory and he wished the other man were there to play his guitar for him. He felt so conflicted, as negative emotions pummeled his heart again.
Adam flipped open his phone and called the only person he’d really talked to outside his family about Kris.
“Hey darling,” Drake answered. “How’s it going in Tinseltown?”
“Shitty,” Adam said. Out of politeness, he added. “How are you?”
“How could it be shitty after that standing O?” When Adam didn’t say anything, Drake added, “Okay, apparently it can be. You called me for a reason so spill it.”
Adam laughed. He knew when he called Drake that it would be this easy to be understood, and that was the same reason he'd told Drake about his relationship with Kris.
“Kris was upset about his performance tonight on Idol and he said that he resented that I did so well.” It sounded ugly when Adam said it, but then he supposed it was ugly.
“What a little asshole,” Drake said.
“No, he’s not.” It was automatic to defend Kris even if Kris didn’t deserve it for this action. “Yes, for this, maybe." Adam gave up. "Okay, yeah he was being an asshole.”
“He should have been congratulating you for being so damn wonderful. Not whining because he sucked.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Talk to him,” Drake laughed. “Dump him, fuck him or whatever, but you've got to do something. It's not good to avoid."
“I don’t even want to see him. God only knows what I’d say to him if we got into it again.”
"Maybe you need to stop being Mr. Nice Guy," Drake said softly. "You've given a lot in this relationship. Tell him that you're tired of always being understanding. That you just want to have a fucking good time for a change and he needs to quit being a damn drama queen."
"Nice," Adam drawled. "I remember why I was never more than friends with you. You're too high maintenance for me."
"That's because you're high maintenance, and your boy needs to start maintaining you before someone else does."
"Oh, that reminds me," Adam said, snapping his fingers.
"What?"
"Lana fixed me up with this guy who was the most annoying thing on two feet," Adam said.
"Please, do tell about this fix up."
"I said he was annoying," Adam laughed.
"Bummer," Drake sighed. "If he's so bad, why bother me with it?"
"Bored already, huh?"
"Yeah, thrill of my week,"
"Well, this should perk you up," Adam laughed. "Chase works in Art Dennison's gallery here in LA. Thought if you're ever in town, we could drop by and visit."
"Now, you have my attention."
"Thought it would," Adam picked a blade of grass. He slid his fingers along its damp smooth stalk while he let his mind drift, but it kept coming back to Kris.
"Go talk to him, Adam," Drake said, without a trace of teasing. "You're not going to be happy until you figure this out."
"You're right. Damn it. I swore I would never let anyone tie me up in knots like this."
"Unfortunately, hon, we don't pick where our hearts land. We can only do the best we can with it."
"Thanks. I appreciate you listening to me."
"No problem," Drake said. "So, since you brought it up, do you mind if I head out that way?"
"Really? Oh my god, that would be great," Adam said. It had been so long since he'd seen his friend and found himself excited at an impending visit.
"Okay, I'll make the plans and send you the information."
"Do it. Love ya, Drake and thank you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll send you a bill in the morning."
Adam smiled as he shut his phone. It was time to take care of his problem and maybe get things back on track, but not yet. He took a moment to stare up at the constellations, wondering how amazing it would feel to float among the stars. He knew it could never be as good as holding Kris in his arms.
The sound of footsteps broke through his wonderings, right before a shadow fell across him. It was Kris. He sat up, but as he went to stand up, Kris crouched next to him.
"Hey," Kris said, wearing a tentative smile.
It was clear to see that he wasn't easy about this talk. Adam knew he had a choice to make, be an asshole, too, and make this tough on Kris or be as understanding as he could be just one last time. He decided not to be an asshole. "Hey yourself."
"Can we talk?'
"Sure," Adam bit his lip trying to keep from saying anything sarcastic. His usual fighting style was to curse, scream and throw things, but he held back. "What's up?"
"A big apology," Kris leaned back on his hands so he could put his legs out in front of him. He curled one leg so that it rested against Adam's thigh and looked up at the stars. "I'm sorry for hurting you. Really sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"
"A bottle of gold Patron and a good blowjob," Adam smirked.
That made Kris laugh as he finally looked at Adam. "I guess you'll be going out for the night, huh?"
"Whatever," Adam teased. Maybe he shouldn't have made a joke about wanting a good blowjob because he knew Kris was sensitive about his ability to please Adam sexually. In those times, he wished he could just let go when they were together. If he could take Kris like he wanted, and was able to make as much noise as he wanted, he didn't think that Kris would ever doubt his abilities again. "Not in the mood to put out tonight, huh?"
Kris plucked a blade of grass, running his fingers over it before tossing it aside. "Adam, I always want you, but sex isn't going to make our problems go away."
"No, it's not," Adam squeezed the inside of Kris's leg and left it resting there. "Not that long ago, when one of us had a bad time we'd talk it out," Adam said so softly that Kris could barely hear him. "There wasn't a thing that we didn't talk about. Fuck, I even told you things I've never told anyone else and never before tonight did I feel like there was a wall between us." He tried to shrug away the hurt fear that crept up on him as he spoke. "We supported each other and now you resent me because you had a bad week. What changed?"
"Everything, Adam," Kris said. He pulled his knees up to wrap his arms around them. For a brief second he retreated by burying his face in them, but lifted his head quickly. "Everything in my life has changed in the last couple of weeks," he stared into Adam's eyes. "Except for my music and you, but tonight I felt like I was losing my chance to do something with my music."
"Don’t let them make you feel that way," Adam said. "You're good and you know it. Hell, they know it. Maybe the pit didn't turn out the way you wanted, but you wanted to try something new and that takes guts. Better than just standing behind the microphone and singing."
"Thanks," Kris ducked his head again, running his hand through his hair. "Adam, I'm really sorry. It was a lousy way to say you were kick awesome tonight."
"There's my Kristopher," Adam said, relieved that he didn't see any indication that Kris wasn't being honest. He reached for him, but then remembered they were in full view of the mansion. With regret, he let his arm drop, but was surprised when Kris came to him anyway. They settled beside each other on the grass. "What if someone sees us?" Adam caressed Kris's face with feather light fingertips.
"A part of me doesn't care," Kris buried his face against his chest. "I want everyone to know about us. Unfortunately, we both know it's not a smart move for either of us. I guess we need to get back to our room."
"Hey," Adam moved so he could look at Kris. "You know that when we can go public, I'm showing you off to everyone. You'll see that I do know how to properly date someone."
"You better," Kris said, smiling. He cupped Adam's cheek. "I only ever want to make you happy and I was totally a jerk tonight."
"No, you weren't," Adam insisted, even though they both knew Kris was right.
"Let's get back to our room so I can show you how good I can be," Kris scrambled to his feet and held his hand out to help Adam up.
Maybe sex couldn’t solve their problems, but it sure was a good place to hide from them. Adam believed Kris when he said he was sorry for his remark, but he wasn't sure whatever had been bothering Kris was gone. Tonight he didn't want to fight. He would rather be making love and hope that things would work out.
~~~~~
Kris, panting hard, rolled off Adam to lie on his back. He kept their fingers entwined. He had no clue of how they were ever going to be able to function through the results show and all the rehearsals before the broadcast, but at the moment, he didn't care. Making love to Adam as much as he could was more important.
"Damn," Adam said, before turning his head toward Kris. "I think you've broken me."
"Me? Broken you? Whatever," Kris laughed. "I think all I'd have to say is again and Big Daddy would be raring to go."
"Probably would," Adam glanced down his body. "Yeah, he's trying to raise an interest."
Kris licked Adam's nipple and said, "I'm starving. Want to go raid the kitchen?"
"Are you serious, man?"
"Yeah actually, I am. I was too upset at dinner to eat much and you've worn me into physical exhaustion. I need sustenance."
"It was your idea to do the riding," Adam reminded him, but was already rolling out of bed. "Let's go see what we can find."
Kris was thankful that Adam couldn't see him because he was sure his face was bright red. Slowly, he was realizing that sex could be just fun, and with Adam it was easy to feel that way.
"Let's go," Adam said, already clothed, and threw his hands out. "I thought you were starving."
"I am, I am," Kris finished pulling up his sleep pants, and grabbed a t-shirt to pull on. "Let's go."
The mansion was quiet as they hurried down to the kitchen. Kris kept bumping into Adam on the way or Adam would lean against him. They were both still recovering from coming undone together. Kris's body was tingling from the things Adam had done to him.
"Okay, what are you in the mood for?" Adam asked as he pulled open the refrigerator door.
Kris slipped under Adam's arm to stand in front of him so he could see what was in the refrigerator. Adam nipped the back of his neck where it curved into this shoulder. It sent a shiver down his spine as Kris leaned back into Adam. Twice that night they were pushing the boundaries of what they should do where someone could see them.
"Ooh, there's still leftover fried chicken from when Lil cooked the other night," Kris said, grabbing the Ziploc bag. "I love her chicken." He handed it to Adam. "And yep, still potato salad." He handed that to Adam as he bent to root around in the fruit drawer. "And plums."
"Grab the strawberries if there's any left," Adam said, grabbing plates and forks. "Oh yeah, and tea."
"Starting to like the sweet tea, aren't you?" Kris asked, but already knew the answer. Adam did.
In no time at all, they were sitting at the counter with full plates in front of them. It was like the horrible time from between when he sang in the pit to when he'd hurt Adam had never happened. Kris refused to think about it, not now when everything was going so well between them again.
"Oh, I was talking to Drake earlier," Adam said, holding a strawberry up to Kris's lips. Kris obliged, opening his mouth and biting off the fruit and leaving the stem between Adam's fingers. Adam reveled in watching Kris's mouth close around the fleshy fruit. "He's coming out for a visit."
"Drake's coming to L.A.," Kris repeated when he finally swallowed. "When?"
"Not sure," Adam said. "He's going to send the details once his plans are set. I can't wait for you to meet him."
"That's great," Kris said, smiling. "I can't wait to meet him either."
It was funny, but Kris knew he was ready to meet Adam's friends. It was time to move forward into that one day after the show was over and maybe it was better to take small steps toward that while they still had the security of Idol. Kris smiled because he realized he no longer felt the resentment he had earlier that evening. It was all temporary stuff when it came to the big picture of their relationship, and he was more than anxious for that relationship to officially start.
"What are you smiling about?" Adam asked, running his toe over Kris's foot.
"You," Kris said, coyly. "You about done with food?"
Adam looked down at his half-eaten plate, and then back up at Kris. "Yeah, I think I am." He grinned. "Race you back upstairs."
"You're on," Kris grinned. "First one there gets to choose."
Adam was gone, leaving his plate on the counter. Kris shook his head before cleaning up. It didn't matter. Whatever Adam chose was going to be fun anyway.
…to be continued