(no subject)

[when_was_that]

I went and visited my old best friend Roy Comer tonight. He has recently been dishonorably discharged from the United States Marine Corps. He failed a urine test. It makes me really sad because he went through the hell of basic training, came home to a crazy welcome party of friends and family who were so proud of him, and a week before he is sent to Afghanistan he gets booted out. Part of me wants to believe he just got caught up in the moment with all his friends and he fucked up, but the other part of me feels he was scared to go to Afghanistan and was looking for a way out. When he asked me to come over he was very drunk; I obliged him. All of his buddies were already past out and Roy was left with a bottle of Captain Morgan 100. I came in and smoked a cigarette with him and took a shot. Roy and I have known each other since we were 2, and I have seen his ups and his downs. I have never seen him like this. He was ashamed of himself. He was ashamed that he fucked up. He was ashamed that his squad that he trained with, went through hell with, is now over seas with out him. I feel so much pity for him but he has no one to blame but himself.
I love Roy like a brother. We have grown up together. Despite growing apart when we got a little older, we always stayed in contact with the occasional call or high five in the hallway.
Although I'm not always happy with myself and the decisions I make, I ultimately feel confident that I'm doing something right. And being with Roy tonight and talking about our childhood, and the things we used to talk about filled me with a strange mix of emotion. I'm happy that me and Roy are still close. I'm upset that the world has not been to kind to Roy. I'm concerned for his future. I'm astounded that things in the two of our lives have turned out the way they have.
I wonder what things are going to be like ten years down the road.