(no subject)
most of the time i feel like i have nothing to live for right now.
i always talk to people who have it "worse than me"
but then, they have it better than me.
and i wonder: WHATTHEFUCK.
nothing has changed about my life...
no one can truly understand how i feel
or what i'm going through right now.
I don't let anyone that close.
it just doesn't feel correct.
it feels like i'd be cheating myself...and maybe someone else...if i let someone in.
And...now. Now that i am awake and unsure of letting myself fall asleep.
unsure of THAT'S what should be done...I'm afraid.
"To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful un-
knowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of
full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision.
Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to
the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformi-
ty. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflicts than
to maintain a constant battle with the superior forc-
es of maturity."**
Sure. I survived...but now what?
I feel like now:
"I sommersaulted deeper into my snuggery of misery."**
What should I do? How do I fix this?
I really don't know...but I'll be damned if I don't find out.
and soon.
**I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”
-Mother Theresa
i always talk to people who have it "worse than me"
but then, they have it better than me.
and i wonder: WHATTHEFUCK.
nothing has changed about my life...
no one can truly understand how i feel
or what i'm going through right now.
I don't let anyone that close.
it just doesn't feel correct.
it feels like i'd be cheating myself...and maybe someone else...if i let someone in.
And...now. Now that i am awake and unsure of letting myself fall asleep.
unsure of THAT'S what should be done...I'm afraid.
"To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful un-
knowing is to experience the excruciating beauty of
full freedom and the threat of eternal indecision.
Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to
the vague but murderous pressure of adult conformi-
ty. It becomes easier to die and avoid conflicts than
to maintain a constant battle with the superior forc-
es of maturity."**
Sure. I survived...but now what?
I feel like now:
"I sommersaulted deeper into my snuggery of misery."**
What should I do? How do I fix this?
I really don't know...but I'll be damned if I don't find out.
and soon.
**I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.”
-Mother Theresa