(no subject)
So my uncle died last week and I've been up in Middlesborough since Sunday afternoon, it's very strange being up there as I havent seen or spoken to my family in 5 years, well since my aunt died. My cousin Joanne has now got four kids, Thomas, Hannah, Grace and Isabell, all beautiful children but Grace (who is in no means graceful or gracious) rules the roost and the fact she's the only one who is blonde haired and blue eyed!!
My cousin Debbie, who I look most like has three children, Daniel whose in the army now, Sophie the beautican trainee and Leah whose in school. Sophie looks just like Debbie its unreal.
My biological father David was there, as my uncle was his brother. It was very strange, the night before the funeral I didnt sleep very well and it was due to anxeity about seeing him.
The funeral was ok, i dunno if you can say a funeral was good or bad??, I gave him a hug when we first got there on Monday morning but I didnt feel anything for him at all!! Me, my sister and my mum didnt realise that Jo and Deb wanted us in the cars with them so we went with them, all that could be heard in our car was sniffling, my mum went with my neice in the brother and sisters cars.
We went back to Jo's house and it was full of people I didnt know and few I did, i spent most of it with little Bella on me. Nobody noticed that David was getting drunk, cause he smokes he was outside more of the time he was there. Only when he came in the house did my mum notice that he was wobbling and drunk. I thought I could escape without having to speak to him, I know that its mean but that man hasnt even bothered with me and my sister for nearly 16 years so why should I be bothered with him. I have a dad a stepdad, even though he's sometimes can be a shit he's my dad and I love him!!
So I thought I had escaped but I was stood talking to Deb and mum, he called my name for me to come to him in the kitchen, which stupidly I did!! Drunkenly he told me how proud he was of me, and my sister, that even though he hasnt spoken to us that he loves us and then he wanted to know if I was willing to contact him and keep in touch. Then when I thought he was gonna leave, he broke down and hugged me. I hugged him back and mouthed to Jo to help me!!
Once he left, i got asked if I was ok, couldnt say anything, i just burst into tears!!
I don't know what to do now, should I contact him? A man who I havent had a conversation with for so many years, i dont know anymore!!
My cousin Debbie, who I look most like has three children, Daniel whose in the army now, Sophie the beautican trainee and Leah whose in school. Sophie looks just like Debbie its unreal.
My biological father David was there, as my uncle was his brother. It was very strange, the night before the funeral I didnt sleep very well and it was due to anxeity about seeing him.
The funeral was ok, i dunno if you can say a funeral was good or bad??, I gave him a hug when we first got there on Monday morning but I didnt feel anything for him at all!! Me, my sister and my mum didnt realise that Jo and Deb wanted us in the cars with them so we went with them, all that could be heard in our car was sniffling, my mum went with my neice in the brother and sisters cars.
We went back to Jo's house and it was full of people I didnt know and few I did, i spent most of it with little Bella on me. Nobody noticed that David was getting drunk, cause he smokes he was outside more of the time he was there. Only when he came in the house did my mum notice that he was wobbling and drunk. I thought I could escape without having to speak to him, I know that its mean but that man hasnt even bothered with me and my sister for nearly 16 years so why should I be bothered with him. I have a dad a stepdad, even though he's sometimes can be a shit he's my dad and I love him!!
So I thought I had escaped but I was stood talking to Deb and mum, he called my name for me to come to him in the kitchen, which stupidly I did!! Drunkenly he told me how proud he was of me, and my sister, that even though he hasnt spoken to us that he loves us and then he wanted to know if I was willing to contact him and keep in touch. Then when I thought he was gonna leave, he broke down and hugged me. I hugged him back and mouthed to Jo to help me!!
Once he left, i got asked if I was ok, couldnt say anything, i just burst into tears!!
I don't know what to do now, should I contact him? A man who I havent had a conversation with for so many years, i dont know anymore!!