FIC - First Knight (18/19)
Title: First Knight (18/19)
Author: wheelie47
Artist: hollyoaks1021
Rating: NC17 (not for every chapter)
Pairing: Luke and Noah.
Word count: 4,253
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT, Van and Jake. No offence intended.
Summary: Set in the fictional land of feudal Western Atlantia, King Damian has been overthrown and has fled the Kingdom of Oakdale. But his evil influence has spread across all eight Kingdoms. Lord Luke Snyder leads his army in an effort to bring peace and justice to a troubled time, aided in his quest by a certain dark-haired young Knight…
Chapter 1, Chapter 2,Chapter 3 Chapter 4, Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17,
The rain fell from the cloud-darkened sky with such an intensity that it bowed the heads of both men and horses alike.
Luke pulled his cloak tighter about him as he raised his head against the elements to stare up toward the high ramparts of walled Old Towne. As the raindrops cascaded down his face, dripping from his hair and chin, his heart felt heavy when he spied the black pendants that interspersed the standards bearing the proud stallion of the House of Snyder.
News of his father’s death had reached home.
It was a stark reminder, if one were needed, that they were returning to Oakdale with a far diminished force than had set out from beneath its high battlements. Some, like Holden Snyder and Kevin Davis, had been killed in battle; others, who had pledged their allegiance for the promise of a share of the fortunes of war, had already taken their leave and journeyed onward to their own homes. And there were others yet still who now returned not as free men but as captives - having turned their backs on Luke’s leadership after his true relationship with Noah had been revealed.
He knew not what to do with these men. Oakdale was their home; he could not… would not… banish them.
Luke could only hope that, in time, these men would come to understand, through his words and his deeds of leadership, that he was still a Snyder. A good and true man. Still his father’s son.
The thought saddened and terrified him at the same time. Could he fill his father’s shadow?
The column of horses and marching men was forced to close ranks as it moved through the entrance gate and Luke was greatly comforted by the close proximity of Noah by his side.
He looked over to the other man as their legs brushed together in the saddle. Noah smiled gently in response and Luke could see reflected in those deep pools of intense blue the same conflicting mix of anxiety and jubilation he too felt. On the one hand they had safely returned to Oakdale and had found each other along the way. On the other, both men were anxious of the reception that would greet them here. They were under no illusion that this would be an easy rite of passage.
But they had made it this far and, together, they were determined to face whatever came next.
As the column of men and horses wound their way up through the rain-slicked, narrow cobbled streets, they were greeted by muted and subdued celebration. It seemed that the populace was unsure whether they should be mourning the passing of a much loved leader or celebrating the return of his eldest son.
Luke knew exactly how they felt…
…
“Forgive me for leaving you here alone, Father,” Luke murmured as he laid his hand on the rough burial mound. It was a deep regret that he had needed to bury Holden Snyder here on the edge of some scarred battlefield far from home.
As they journeyed back to Oakdale, Luke had detoured the column of men to return to this spot.
While the rest of the men set about making camp, he had taken a torch, lighting it from one of the braziers, before heading to his father’s resting place alone.
Kneeling on the ground, Luke left the sounds of the encampment far behind him and all that could be heard was the occasional guttering of the torch when a random breeze fanned the flame.
Running his hand tenderly over the collection of rocks, Luke fought to hold in his emotions. But he could not prevent the tears from falling. “Please help me, Father. Give me the strength I need to follow in your footsteps. I fear the biggest challenges are yet to come.” He closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of the stone under his hand… hoping to garner some strength… some wisdom from the man that lay beneath.
Luke did not even open his eyes when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, long slim fingers curling lightly around the joint. He knew who it was without looking. Smiling softly through the tears, he tilted his head to rest on Noah’s hand as he felt his lover kneel beside him.
Noah did not speak or move; he just knelt silently by Luke’s side.
After several long moments, Luke turned his head slightly so that he could press his lips against the skin of Noah’s hand before opening his eyes and gazing up at the man next to him.
Annoyed at himself for crying, Luke swiped at his tears with the back of his hand. But the movement was arrested by Noah as he reached out, grasped his hand and brought it to his lips, intent on brushing away the tears with the lightest of kisses. “Never hide how you feel from me, Luke. It is part of who you are that you wear your emotions so freely. It is one of the many aspects I love about you. I only wish that I could say the same.”
Luke shook his head vehemently. “No. No, Noah.” He laid his hand on Noah’s chest and he could feel the heart beneath quicken at his touch. “You do not have to form the words; I know from those eyes and your countenance that you feel just as deeply as I.” He could not resist bringing his free hand up to trace the outline of Noah’s strong jaw, marveling at the intense feeling of the stubble on his fingertips and the way Noah leaned into the touch.
They silently knelt like that for some time before Luke finally turned back to face the burial mound. “Father, there is something I wish to tell you. I regret that I had not the courage to tell you in life. But perhaps you will forgive me that.” He paused and his gaze drifted back to Noah. He smiled before continuing, his eyes never leaving Noah’s face. “Because back then there was no claim on my heart as there is now. Now, I wish to proclaim it from the rooftops.”
Noah smiled gently and slid his palm against Luke’s, interlocking their fingers.
“This is Sir Noah Mayer and… and I love him. He is a good man and true. He makes me happy, Father... very happy.”
Luke felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders at finally being able to tell his father who he was. He deeply regretted that he had not told him while he lived.
Noah finally spoke in a hushed whisper, not wanting to break the moment but he had a burning question that he needed to ask. “Do you think he would have been accepting of us?” As he spoke he looked over at the burial mound, thinking of the leader of men that he had only known briefly and from afar. His thoughts also drifted to his own father and Noah could not help but focus on how he would react when he heard the news. He had to suppress a shudder at the thought; his father’s temper was legendary.
Noah tried to hold onto the belief that his father would want what made Noah happy… and Luke made Noah happy. Happier than he had ever been in his short life even if they had fought so hard to get here.
Luke paused before answering as he searched his lover’s features. He instinctively knew what Noah was asking him; this was not just about his own father but Noah’s too.
Reaching up, Luke caressed Noah’s cheek. “He was a good man that wanted only what was best for the people around him. I am certain he would have opened his heart and mind to us. He would have need only to see what you mean to me to have been happy for us. As will your father, Noah.” When the time came to face Sir Winston Mayer, Luke would stand shoulder to shoulder with Noah, proud that he loved his son. There would be no more hiding in the shadows.
Noah shook his head slowly. “I wish I had your belief.”
He did not want to speak anymore of his father - not here - and, pulling Luke to him, he eased the both of them to ground.
As Luke curled into Noah’s side, he brought his hand up again to stroke the side of Noah’s face.
For a while both men were content to just lie together, gathering strength and warmth from each other’s embrace as they stared up at the mind-blowing array of stars, shinning brightly in the rich velvety tapestry of the cloudless night sky.
Luke was the first to break the silence. “I do not wish to leave my father here alone, Noah,” he murmured against the skin of Noah’s neck. “Yet, I do not want to bear him home in the company of Damian Grimaldi; he deserves better than that. Will you return here with me to carry him back to Oakdale when the time is nigh?”
“You need not ask, Luke. I would consider it a honor and a privilege to escort your father home,” Noah answered, tightening his hold on the shorter man and kissing the blonde tresses before both men fell silent once again; content to lie in their embrace for a little while longer yet…
…
“Come away, boy,” a stern voice cut across Luke’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present.
Casting his gaze in the direction of the sound, he observed an elderly woman pulling away a handsome blonde-haired young man who was staring inquisitively up at them as they passed by.
From the look of distrust she gave both men, Luke assumed that their other news had reached Oakdale too. Rumor must have spread from the advance guard that had arrived ahead of them.
Tearing his eyes away from the scene, he gazed further up along the slick cobbles toward the road that led to the Snyder Estate and wondered with apprehension if the news had already reached his mother’s ears…
…
After removing their rain-soaked cloaks, Noah followed Luke into one of the most ornate and richly decorated rooms he had ever seen in his life; a stark contrast from the surroundings in which they had found themselves in recent days.
Yet, as he looked about him, the room had a homely feel to it, encapsulated by the roaring fire. And he could easily imagine spending endless hours here with Luke.
Noah’s gaze was drawn to the two women dressed in black mourning clothes sat in armchairs in front of the fire.
Both women turned at the sounds of their footfalls on the stone flag floor, and Noah could see in an instant that these women were indeed in mourning; their eyes were red-rimmed and spoke of many sleepless nights and their countenances spoke of a profound sadness.
“Luke!” the younger woman - who Noah took to be Luke’s mother - cried out as she jumped to her feet. “You are returned to us.” She dashed toward him, her arms out wide ready to embrace him, before stopping abruptly.
“My Lord,” she murmured and curtsied, appearing to think better of approaching her son - the now Lord Snyder - in such a manner.
Luke shook his head and smiled sadly before rushing forward and taking her in his arms. “Just Luke, Mother. I am still your son.” Pulling back, he held her at arms’ length. “I am sorry I could not keep him safe.”
Lily Snyder nodded gratefully before standing back as Luke moved to kneel before the elderly woman. “Grandma Emma, I am sorry,” his voice wavered, tears falling freely down his face as he rested his head in her lap.
“To know you were there with him at the end and that you are returned home safe is of great comfort to me, my dear boy,” Emma gasped through her own tears as she soothed her fingers through her grandson’s blonde locks.
Noah’s own fingers itched to comfort Luke.
Suddenly he felt as if he was intruding on a family’s own and very personal grief and he took a step back away from the three figures in front of him.
Lily Snyder caught the movement and Noah found himself gazing into a set of inquisitive eyes.
Before either of them could respond, they were interrupted by excited shouts of “Luke!” as three children came hurtling into the room - a constant blur of arms and legs - and they almost succeeded in toppling Luke to the floor in their rush to greet him.
“Children,” Lily tried to speak firmly but was smiling through her words at the scene before her. “Your brother has just returned from war. Be gentle now.”
Luke righted himself and smiled widely, attempting to gather his siblings in arms all at once. “I am fine, Mother,” he chuckled before speaking directly to the children in his arms. “I have missed you all so much.” He kissed every one of them in turn, making his sisters squirm. But his little brother kissed him back on the check whilst gently placing his small hand against the side of his face, patting slowly, seemingly reassuring himself his elder brother was really there.
Noah was mesmerized by the scene unfolding before him. Growing up as an only child raised singly by his father’s hand and having no childhood friends, Noah was overwhelmed by the interaction of Luke and his family. A large part of him wanted to delve right in the midst of this loving family and revel in its warmth and closeness.
But again he stood uncertainly on its periphery, feeling as if he were an outsider.
Luke noticed that his little brother was staring intently at something over his shoulder and, swiveling, he realized with horror that he had neglected Noah.
Scooping his brother up with him, Luke stood. “Noah, please forgive me. Where are my manners?”
He stepped over to the other man, his shoulder brushing Noah’s as he turned to face his family. “This is my…” Luke stumbled over how to introduce his lover, especially in front of his younger siblings. He smiled up at Noah, hoping he would understand that he wanted to speak to the adults before broaching the subject with his sisters and brother. “This is my… friend… Sir Noah Mayer. He saved my life…” He wanted to add ‘in more ways than you know’ but now was not the time.
Lily watched the exchange between the two young men intently. “Thank you, Sir Knight, for your part in returning Luke to us. We are in your debt.” She turned to pull the bell cord to summon a servant to the chamber. “I will see to it that Hughes finds you suitable quarters amongst the other men.”
Luke reached out and placed his hand across Noah’s forearm to arrest any movement. “No, Mother. Noah will be quartering here… with me.”
Lily spun back to face Luke, staring aghast at him and then at Luke’s hand on Noah’s arm. So the rumors reaching her ears from the townsfolk were true. Luke had taken this Noah Mayer as a lover. She was not stupid; she was a well-traveled woman, here and overseas. She had heard of such men before. But this was not what she wanted for the boy she had raised. She wanted Luke to take a wife, settle down and have children - give her the grandchildren she so desperately wanted. She wanted him to be happy. This could not make Luke happy, surely?
“Emma, will you take the children to bed?” Lily wanted to reason with Luke - make him see sense - but not in front of the younger children.
Emma nodded and rose slowly to her feet but a small voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Lukey’s friend - No… ah,” Luke’s younger brother stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
“Noah, Ethan,” Luke encouraged gently, smiling down at the little boy still held in his arms.
Ethan’s eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried again. “Nowah.” He smiled to himself; pleased with the way it sounded this time as he reached out with his small hand and placed it flat on Noah’s cheek. “When my Papa coming home?”
Puzzled, Luke turned to his mother. “You have not told them?”
“I have,” she sighed in reply. “The girls seem to understand but Ethan keeps asking when his father is returning home.”
Noah’s heart broke as he stared down at the little boy in Luke’s arms. He tenderly covered Ethan’s small hand with his own where it rested still on his cheek. He marveled at how small and how warm it felt on his skin. Noah also wondered at the boy’s easy willingness to reach out and touch a stranger; there must have been something in Noah’s manner or in his countenance that Ethan felt he could trust. That touched his heart more than words could express.
He could understand the boy’s logic in a way. Luke had said Noah had saved him and Ethan’s mother had thanked Noah for returning Luke home. Through the eyes of a child it must have seemed that Noah could easy bring Holden home too. That thought spoke to the memory of the tearful little boy inside of Noah. The little boy who had not understood when his own father had sat him down and explained his mother was never returning and that he needed to be a man because it was just the two of them now.
Noah bit his lip in an attempt to steady the tremor in his voice before speaking. He smiled down sadly, shaking his head with regret. “I am sorry, Ethan.”
Lily stepped forward and placed a soothing hand on her young son’s back before taking him in her arms and holding him close. She brought her hand up to gently comb through his hair. “Your father is not coming home, Ethan,” she spoke as gently as she could through the tears. “Remember we spoke about that?”
The little boy sniffed and nodded reluctantly as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Lily looked to the older woman. “Will you please take the children to bed, Emma.”
Emma finally moved again, brushing at her own falling tears with a handkerchief before taking her grandchild from Lily’s arms.
Walking up to Luke, she placed a kiss to his cheek. “My heart is happy that you are returned safe to us.”
She pulled back and shifted Ethan in her arms so that she could reach up and lay a gentle hand on the side of Noah’s face.
“Thank you, dear boy,” she said simply with a warm smile before turning and leading the children from the room.
The remaining adults stood glancing at each other, uncertain how to begin the conversation they knew they must have.
Before a word could be uttered, Tom Hughes stepped into the room from a far entrance in response to the summons.
He bowed deeply when he observed Luke. “Welcome home, my Lord.”
Hughes hesitated before continuing, seemingly uncertain if he should so address his new master but he could not hold back his joy. “Thank you for keeping my boy safe and bringing him home.”
Luke smiled and gestured for the older man to straighten. “It is I who should be thanking you and your son. I owe him a debt of gratitude,” Luke spoke, thinking of Casey’s actions on the battlefield and the loyalty he had shown.
Tom smiled widely and nodded his gratitude; finally his son had done something to be proud of. “Thank you, my Lord.”
He straightened as he remembered his duty. “How may I serve you?”
Luke answered quickly before his mother could respond. “It is not important. It was a trifling matter.”
“As you wish, my Lord,” Tom answered as he glanced quickly between the two young men. Yes, he had heard the rumors. But it mattered not to him. Luke, as both man and boy, had been nothing but courteous to him and his family. That was what was important to him, not what went on behind closed doors.
About to turn and leave, he remembered one more thing he had to convey to his master. “The guards have secured Grimaldi in the East Tower, my Lord.”
Luke heard his mother gasp behind him as he thanked Hughes and dismissed him from the room.
“Why did you bring him back here?” she asked when they were alone again.
Luke glanced at Noah before replying. “We thought it best that he be brought to justice for his crimes here. It is what Father would have wanted. Why?”
“It would have been best to have left him imprisoned where he was. It would have been less complicated that way.”
Luke was puzzled. “Complicated? How so?”
Luke’s mother shrugged and averted her eyes for a second, appearing to regret having spoken out. “It is of no import. I was merely thinking of all the harm he has wrought in this kingdom. It would have been best if he had never set foot inside its boundaries again.” She moved past him to return to her seat on the hearth.
Luke’s eyes narrowed. Something felt amiss here.
He knelt in front of Lily. “What is wrong, Mother? What are you not telling me?” he asked as he grasped both of her hands in his.
Luke could see the dilemma raging deep inside his mother’s expressive eyes. “Tell me.”
“It is nothing. Just remembering old ghosts and deeds long gone.”
His mother’s words sparked a memory and he found himself recalling the words of Grimaldi’s old clerk when he had spoke of old debts repaid as he aided their escape from Stormcrag. He recounted the tale now for his mother. “What service did our family give?”
The shock was plain on his mother’s face. “Edward lives still? And you spoke with him?”
“He was alive then but I do not know if he lives still. He would not speak his name nor of the debt that was repaid.”
Luke was beginning to worry now. “Tell me of the debt he spoke of,” he asked again, trying to keep the edge of gnawing anxiety from his voice as he gripped his mother’s hands tighter.
Lily sighed deeply and hung her head, her gaze not meeting Luke’s as she spoke in a rushed whisper. The time for hiding the truth was long gone.. “His daughter worked as a maid in Grimaldi’s castle. She was a pretty young thing and she caught her master’s eye. No woman could withstand Grimaldi’s advances - especially not a maid and a daughter of a clerk at that - and he had his way with her.
She was terrified when she found she was with child, thinking if Grimaldi discovered the fact he would have her banished along with his bastard child… or worse.”
At last, Lily lifted her head and looked directly at Luke and continued sadly. “Your father and I… we took her in, in memory of the friendship your grandfather and Edward once shared. The poor girl died in childbirth but her child - her son - lived. Neither the child nor Grimaldi ever knew. We thought it best…” Her voice petered out in a murmur.
Luke sat back on his heels as he sought to process what he had just heard. “No!” he gasped as tendrils of understanding connected his thought patterns.
“Luke, I…” Lily began as she gripped his hands again.
Luke snatched them back, scrambling away from her. “You lie!”
“Oh, Luke. I wish it were not the case. But it is true - Damian Grimaldi is your father. But you are our son.” She reached out to him, her heart breaking at the look on Luke’s countenance.
“DO NOT TOUCH ME!” Luke screamed as he pushed even further away. He could not breathe. Everything he had ever held dear - the love and support of his parents, his life here with his sisters and brother - all was a lie. Instead he was the son of a monster!
Luke had to get out of this room and away from this place. The walls were closing in on him.
Climbing to his feet, he dashed toward the door, knocking over the empty armchair in his panicked rush.
He felt something grasp his hand, holding him back.
“Luke.” Noah’s desperate and concerned voice dimly reached out to him through the haze of his raw emotions.
Luke turned and yanked his hand free. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” he yelled, making the other man flinch as if he had been struck.
Without another look back, Luke turned and fled from the room.
“Luke!” Lily called desperately after the departing form as she made to rise to her feet to follow him.
Noah stood rooted to the spot in shock at all he had heard and witnessed here tonight. Luke’s world had been torn violently from him and Noah’s heart was bleeding for his lover’s pain.
He finally reacted when he saw Lily Snyder move toward the door. “I will go after him,” Noah found his voice; certain that Luke would not want to see the woman he had called his mother again so soon after such a devastating revelation.
And then he was gone, leaving Lily to collapse to the floor, sobbing wildly. “Oh, Holden. What have we done?” she cried out through the tears…
Chapter 19
Back to fic master post
Author: wheelie47
Artist: hollyoaks1021
Rating: NC17 (not for every chapter)
Pairing: Luke and Noah.
Word count: 4,253
Disclaimer: Don’t own characters, am not associated in any way with ATWT, Van and Jake. No offence intended.
Summary: Set in the fictional land of feudal Western Atlantia, King Damian has been overthrown and has fled the Kingdom of Oakdale. But his evil influence has spread across all eight Kingdoms. Lord Luke Snyder leads his army in an effort to bring peace and justice to a troubled time, aided in his quest by a certain dark-haired young Knight…
Chapter 1, Chapter 2,Chapter 3 Chapter 4, Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17,
The rain fell from the cloud-darkened sky with such an intensity that it bowed the heads of both men and horses alike.
Luke pulled his cloak tighter about him as he raised his head against the elements to stare up toward the high ramparts of walled Old Towne. As the raindrops cascaded down his face, dripping from his hair and chin, his heart felt heavy when he spied the black pendants that interspersed the standards bearing the proud stallion of the House of Snyder.
News of his father’s death had reached home.
It was a stark reminder, if one were needed, that they were returning to Oakdale with a far diminished force than had set out from beneath its high battlements. Some, like Holden Snyder and Kevin Davis, had been killed in battle; others, who had pledged their allegiance for the promise of a share of the fortunes of war, had already taken their leave and journeyed onward to their own homes. And there were others yet still who now returned not as free men but as captives - having turned their backs on Luke’s leadership after his true relationship with Noah had been revealed.
He knew not what to do with these men. Oakdale was their home; he could not… would not… banish them.
Luke could only hope that, in time, these men would come to understand, through his words and his deeds of leadership, that he was still a Snyder. A good and true man. Still his father’s son.
The thought saddened and terrified him at the same time. Could he fill his father’s shadow?
The column of horses and marching men was forced to close ranks as it moved through the entrance gate and Luke was greatly comforted by the close proximity of Noah by his side.
He looked over to the other man as their legs brushed together in the saddle. Noah smiled gently in response and Luke could see reflected in those deep pools of intense blue the same conflicting mix of anxiety and jubilation he too felt. On the one hand they had safely returned to Oakdale and had found each other along the way. On the other, both men were anxious of the reception that would greet them here. They were under no illusion that this would be an easy rite of passage.
But they had made it this far and, together, they were determined to face whatever came next.
As the column of men and horses wound their way up through the rain-slicked, narrow cobbled streets, they were greeted by muted and subdued celebration. It seemed that the populace was unsure whether they should be mourning the passing of a much loved leader or celebrating the return of his eldest son.
Luke knew exactly how they felt…
…
“Forgive me for leaving you here alone, Father,” Luke murmured as he laid his hand on the rough burial mound. It was a deep regret that he had needed to bury Holden Snyder here on the edge of some scarred battlefield far from home.
As they journeyed back to Oakdale, Luke had detoured the column of men to return to this spot.
While the rest of the men set about making camp, he had taken a torch, lighting it from one of the braziers, before heading to his father’s resting place alone.
Kneeling on the ground, Luke left the sounds of the encampment far behind him and all that could be heard was the occasional guttering of the torch when a random breeze fanned the flame.
Running his hand tenderly over the collection of rocks, Luke fought to hold in his emotions. But he could not prevent the tears from falling. “Please help me, Father. Give me the strength I need to follow in your footsteps. I fear the biggest challenges are yet to come.” He closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of the stone under his hand… hoping to garner some strength… some wisdom from the man that lay beneath.
Luke did not even open his eyes when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, long slim fingers curling lightly around the joint. He knew who it was without looking. Smiling softly through the tears, he tilted his head to rest on Noah’s hand as he felt his lover kneel beside him.
Noah did not speak or move; he just knelt silently by Luke’s side.
After several long moments, Luke turned his head slightly so that he could press his lips against the skin of Noah’s hand before opening his eyes and gazing up at the man next to him.
Annoyed at himself for crying, Luke swiped at his tears with the back of his hand. But the movement was arrested by Noah as he reached out, grasped his hand and brought it to his lips, intent on brushing away the tears with the lightest of kisses. “Never hide how you feel from me, Luke. It is part of who you are that you wear your emotions so freely. It is one of the many aspects I love about you. I only wish that I could say the same.”
Luke shook his head vehemently. “No. No, Noah.” He laid his hand on Noah’s chest and he could feel the heart beneath quicken at his touch. “You do not have to form the words; I know from those eyes and your countenance that you feel just as deeply as I.” He could not resist bringing his free hand up to trace the outline of Noah’s strong jaw, marveling at the intense feeling of the stubble on his fingertips and the way Noah leaned into the touch.
They silently knelt like that for some time before Luke finally turned back to face the burial mound. “Father, there is something I wish to tell you. I regret that I had not the courage to tell you in life. But perhaps you will forgive me that.” He paused and his gaze drifted back to Noah. He smiled before continuing, his eyes never leaving Noah’s face. “Because back then there was no claim on my heart as there is now. Now, I wish to proclaim it from the rooftops.”
Noah smiled gently and slid his palm against Luke’s, interlocking their fingers.
“This is Sir Noah Mayer and… and I love him. He is a good man and true. He makes me happy, Father... very happy.”
Luke felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders at finally being able to tell his father who he was. He deeply regretted that he had not told him while he lived.
Noah finally spoke in a hushed whisper, not wanting to break the moment but he had a burning question that he needed to ask. “Do you think he would have been accepting of us?” As he spoke he looked over at the burial mound, thinking of the leader of men that he had only known briefly and from afar. His thoughts also drifted to his own father and Noah could not help but focus on how he would react when he heard the news. He had to suppress a shudder at the thought; his father’s temper was legendary.
Noah tried to hold onto the belief that his father would want what made Noah happy… and Luke made Noah happy. Happier than he had ever been in his short life even if they had fought so hard to get here.
Luke paused before answering as he searched his lover’s features. He instinctively knew what Noah was asking him; this was not just about his own father but Noah’s too.
Reaching up, Luke caressed Noah’s cheek. “He was a good man that wanted only what was best for the people around him. I am certain he would have opened his heart and mind to us. He would have need only to see what you mean to me to have been happy for us. As will your father, Noah.” When the time came to face Sir Winston Mayer, Luke would stand shoulder to shoulder with Noah, proud that he loved his son. There would be no more hiding in the shadows.
Noah shook his head slowly. “I wish I had your belief.”
He did not want to speak anymore of his father - not here - and, pulling Luke to him, he eased the both of them to ground.
As Luke curled into Noah’s side, he brought his hand up again to stroke the side of Noah’s face.
For a while both men were content to just lie together, gathering strength and warmth from each other’s embrace as they stared up at the mind-blowing array of stars, shinning brightly in the rich velvety tapestry of the cloudless night sky.
Luke was the first to break the silence. “I do not wish to leave my father here alone, Noah,” he murmured against the skin of Noah’s neck. “Yet, I do not want to bear him home in the company of Damian Grimaldi; he deserves better than that. Will you return here with me to carry him back to Oakdale when the time is nigh?”
“You need not ask, Luke. I would consider it a honor and a privilege to escort your father home,” Noah answered, tightening his hold on the shorter man and kissing the blonde tresses before both men fell silent once again; content to lie in their embrace for a little while longer yet…
…
“Come away, boy,” a stern voice cut across Luke’s thoughts, pulling him back to the present.
Casting his gaze in the direction of the sound, he observed an elderly woman pulling away a handsome blonde-haired young man who was staring inquisitively up at them as they passed by.
From the look of distrust she gave both men, Luke assumed that their other news had reached Oakdale too. Rumor must have spread from the advance guard that had arrived ahead of them.
Tearing his eyes away from the scene, he gazed further up along the slick cobbles toward the road that led to the Snyder Estate and wondered with apprehension if the news had already reached his mother’s ears…
…
After removing their rain-soaked cloaks, Noah followed Luke into one of the most ornate and richly decorated rooms he had ever seen in his life; a stark contrast from the surroundings in which they had found themselves in recent days.
Yet, as he looked about him, the room had a homely feel to it, encapsulated by the roaring fire. And he could easily imagine spending endless hours here with Luke.
Noah’s gaze was drawn to the two women dressed in black mourning clothes sat in armchairs in front of the fire.
Both women turned at the sounds of their footfalls on the stone flag floor, and Noah could see in an instant that these women were indeed in mourning; their eyes were red-rimmed and spoke of many sleepless nights and their countenances spoke of a profound sadness.
“Luke!” the younger woman - who Noah took to be Luke’s mother - cried out as she jumped to her feet. “You are returned to us.” She dashed toward him, her arms out wide ready to embrace him, before stopping abruptly.
“My Lord,” she murmured and curtsied, appearing to think better of approaching her son - the now Lord Snyder - in such a manner.
Luke shook his head and smiled sadly before rushing forward and taking her in his arms. “Just Luke, Mother. I am still your son.” Pulling back, he held her at arms’ length. “I am sorry I could not keep him safe.”
Lily Snyder nodded gratefully before standing back as Luke moved to kneel before the elderly woman. “Grandma Emma, I am sorry,” his voice wavered, tears falling freely down his face as he rested his head in her lap.
“To know you were there with him at the end and that you are returned home safe is of great comfort to me, my dear boy,” Emma gasped through her own tears as she soothed her fingers through her grandson’s blonde locks.
Noah’s own fingers itched to comfort Luke.
Suddenly he felt as if he was intruding on a family’s own and very personal grief and he took a step back away from the three figures in front of him.
Lily Snyder caught the movement and Noah found himself gazing into a set of inquisitive eyes.
Before either of them could respond, they were interrupted by excited shouts of “Luke!” as three children came hurtling into the room - a constant blur of arms and legs - and they almost succeeded in toppling Luke to the floor in their rush to greet him.
“Children,” Lily tried to speak firmly but was smiling through her words at the scene before her. “Your brother has just returned from war. Be gentle now.”
Luke righted himself and smiled widely, attempting to gather his siblings in arms all at once. “I am fine, Mother,” he chuckled before speaking directly to the children in his arms. “I have missed you all so much.” He kissed every one of them in turn, making his sisters squirm. But his little brother kissed him back on the check whilst gently placing his small hand against the side of his face, patting slowly, seemingly reassuring himself his elder brother was really there.
Noah was mesmerized by the scene unfolding before him. Growing up as an only child raised singly by his father’s hand and having no childhood friends, Noah was overwhelmed by the interaction of Luke and his family. A large part of him wanted to delve right in the midst of this loving family and revel in its warmth and closeness.
But again he stood uncertainly on its periphery, feeling as if he were an outsider.
Luke noticed that his little brother was staring intently at something over his shoulder and, swiveling, he realized with horror that he had neglected Noah.
Scooping his brother up with him, Luke stood. “Noah, please forgive me. Where are my manners?”
He stepped over to the other man, his shoulder brushing Noah’s as he turned to face his family. “This is my…” Luke stumbled over how to introduce his lover, especially in front of his younger siblings. He smiled up at Noah, hoping he would understand that he wanted to speak to the adults before broaching the subject with his sisters and brother. “This is my… friend… Sir Noah Mayer. He saved my life…” He wanted to add ‘in more ways than you know’ but now was not the time.
Lily watched the exchange between the two young men intently. “Thank you, Sir Knight, for your part in returning Luke to us. We are in your debt.” She turned to pull the bell cord to summon a servant to the chamber. “I will see to it that Hughes finds you suitable quarters amongst the other men.”
Luke reached out and placed his hand across Noah’s forearm to arrest any movement. “No, Mother. Noah will be quartering here… with me.”
Lily spun back to face Luke, staring aghast at him and then at Luke’s hand on Noah’s arm. So the rumors reaching her ears from the townsfolk were true. Luke had taken this Noah Mayer as a lover. She was not stupid; she was a well-traveled woman, here and overseas. She had heard of such men before. But this was not what she wanted for the boy she had raised. She wanted Luke to take a wife, settle down and have children - give her the grandchildren she so desperately wanted. She wanted him to be happy. This could not make Luke happy, surely?
“Emma, will you take the children to bed?” Lily wanted to reason with Luke - make him see sense - but not in front of the younger children.
Emma nodded and rose slowly to her feet but a small voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Lukey’s friend - No… ah,” Luke’s younger brother stumbled over the unfamiliar word.
“Noah, Ethan,” Luke encouraged gently, smiling down at the little boy still held in his arms.
Ethan’s eyes narrowed in concentration as he tried again. “Nowah.” He smiled to himself; pleased with the way it sounded this time as he reached out with his small hand and placed it flat on Noah’s cheek. “When my Papa coming home?”
Puzzled, Luke turned to his mother. “You have not told them?”
“I have,” she sighed in reply. “The girls seem to understand but Ethan keeps asking when his father is returning home.”
Noah’s heart broke as he stared down at the little boy in Luke’s arms. He tenderly covered Ethan’s small hand with his own where it rested still on his cheek. He marveled at how small and how warm it felt on his skin. Noah also wondered at the boy’s easy willingness to reach out and touch a stranger; there must have been something in Noah’s manner or in his countenance that Ethan felt he could trust. That touched his heart more than words could express.
He could understand the boy’s logic in a way. Luke had said Noah had saved him and Ethan’s mother had thanked Noah for returning Luke home. Through the eyes of a child it must have seemed that Noah could easy bring Holden home too. That thought spoke to the memory of the tearful little boy inside of Noah. The little boy who had not understood when his own father had sat him down and explained his mother was never returning and that he needed to be a man because it was just the two of them now.
Noah bit his lip in an attempt to steady the tremor in his voice before speaking. He smiled down sadly, shaking his head with regret. “I am sorry, Ethan.”
Lily stepped forward and placed a soothing hand on her young son’s back before taking him in her arms and holding him close. She brought her hand up to gently comb through his hair. “Your father is not coming home, Ethan,” she spoke as gently as she could through the tears. “Remember we spoke about that?”
The little boy sniffed and nodded reluctantly as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Lily looked to the older woman. “Will you please take the children to bed, Emma.”
Emma finally moved again, brushing at her own falling tears with a handkerchief before taking her grandchild from Lily’s arms.
Walking up to Luke, she placed a kiss to his cheek. “My heart is happy that you are returned safe to us.”
She pulled back and shifted Ethan in her arms so that she could reach up and lay a gentle hand on the side of Noah’s face.
“Thank you, dear boy,” she said simply with a warm smile before turning and leading the children from the room.
The remaining adults stood glancing at each other, uncertain how to begin the conversation they knew they must have.
Before a word could be uttered, Tom Hughes stepped into the room from a far entrance in response to the summons.
He bowed deeply when he observed Luke. “Welcome home, my Lord.”
Hughes hesitated before continuing, seemingly uncertain if he should so address his new master but he could not hold back his joy. “Thank you for keeping my boy safe and bringing him home.”
Luke smiled and gestured for the older man to straighten. “It is I who should be thanking you and your son. I owe him a debt of gratitude,” Luke spoke, thinking of Casey’s actions on the battlefield and the loyalty he had shown.
Tom smiled widely and nodded his gratitude; finally his son had done something to be proud of. “Thank you, my Lord.”
He straightened as he remembered his duty. “How may I serve you?”
Luke answered quickly before his mother could respond. “It is not important. It was a trifling matter.”
“As you wish, my Lord,” Tom answered as he glanced quickly between the two young men. Yes, he had heard the rumors. But it mattered not to him. Luke, as both man and boy, had been nothing but courteous to him and his family. That was what was important to him, not what went on behind closed doors.
About to turn and leave, he remembered one more thing he had to convey to his master. “The guards have secured Grimaldi in the East Tower, my Lord.”
Luke heard his mother gasp behind him as he thanked Hughes and dismissed him from the room.
“Why did you bring him back here?” she asked when they were alone again.
Luke glanced at Noah before replying. “We thought it best that he be brought to justice for his crimes here. It is what Father would have wanted. Why?”
“It would have been best to have left him imprisoned where he was. It would have been less complicated that way.”
Luke was puzzled. “Complicated? How so?”
Luke’s mother shrugged and averted her eyes for a second, appearing to regret having spoken out. “It is of no import. I was merely thinking of all the harm he has wrought in this kingdom. It would have been best if he had never set foot inside its boundaries again.” She moved past him to return to her seat on the hearth.
Luke’s eyes narrowed. Something felt amiss here.
He knelt in front of Lily. “What is wrong, Mother? What are you not telling me?” he asked as he grasped both of her hands in his.
Luke could see the dilemma raging deep inside his mother’s expressive eyes. “Tell me.”
“It is nothing. Just remembering old ghosts and deeds long gone.”
His mother’s words sparked a memory and he found himself recalling the words of Grimaldi’s old clerk when he had spoke of old debts repaid as he aided their escape from Stormcrag. He recounted the tale now for his mother. “What service did our family give?”
The shock was plain on his mother’s face. “Edward lives still? And you spoke with him?”
“He was alive then but I do not know if he lives still. He would not speak his name nor of the debt that was repaid.”
Luke was beginning to worry now. “Tell me of the debt he spoke of,” he asked again, trying to keep the edge of gnawing anxiety from his voice as he gripped his mother’s hands tighter.
Lily sighed deeply and hung her head, her gaze not meeting Luke’s as she spoke in a rushed whisper. The time for hiding the truth was long gone.. “His daughter worked as a maid in Grimaldi’s castle. She was a pretty young thing and she caught her master’s eye. No woman could withstand Grimaldi’s advances - especially not a maid and a daughter of a clerk at that - and he had his way with her.
She was terrified when she found she was with child, thinking if Grimaldi discovered the fact he would have her banished along with his bastard child… or worse.”
At last, Lily lifted her head and looked directly at Luke and continued sadly. “Your father and I… we took her in, in memory of the friendship your grandfather and Edward once shared. The poor girl died in childbirth but her child - her son - lived. Neither the child nor Grimaldi ever knew. We thought it best…” Her voice petered out in a murmur.
Luke sat back on his heels as he sought to process what he had just heard. “No!” he gasped as tendrils of understanding connected his thought patterns.
“Luke, I…” Lily began as she gripped his hands again.
Luke snatched them back, scrambling away from her. “You lie!”
“Oh, Luke. I wish it were not the case. But it is true - Damian Grimaldi is your father. But you are our son.” She reached out to him, her heart breaking at the look on Luke’s countenance.
“DO NOT TOUCH ME!” Luke screamed as he pushed even further away. He could not breathe. Everything he had ever held dear - the love and support of his parents, his life here with his sisters and brother - all was a lie. Instead he was the son of a monster!
Luke had to get out of this room and away from this place. The walls were closing in on him.
Climbing to his feet, he dashed toward the door, knocking over the empty armchair in his panicked rush.
He felt something grasp his hand, holding him back.
“Luke.” Noah’s desperate and concerned voice dimly reached out to him through the haze of his raw emotions.
Luke turned and yanked his hand free. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” he yelled, making the other man flinch as if he had been struck.
Without another look back, Luke turned and fled from the room.
“Luke!” Lily called desperately after the departing form as she made to rise to her feet to follow him.
Noah stood rooted to the spot in shock at all he had heard and witnessed here tonight. Luke’s world had been torn violently from him and Noah’s heart was bleeding for his lover’s pain.
He finally reacted when he saw Lily Snyder move toward the door. “I will go after him,” Noah found his voice; certain that Luke would not want to see the woman he had called his mother again so soon after such a devastating revelation.
And then he was gone, leaving Lily to collapse to the floor, sobbing wildly. “Oh, Holden. What have we done?” she cried out through the tears…
Chapter 19
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