Adventures in Egocentrism
Were I to build an argument that being blessed with the name "Carolyn" rendered me more susceptible to insensitive and callous treatment from men, I'd have no shortage of song lyrics to use as evidence. Consider the following excerpts from songs written by men about "Carolyns." Consider them!
And don't try to say the right thing,
'cause it'll come out wrong.
And don't try to take my hand,
because you know we don't belong
together.
Carolyn, we don't belong.
--Lee Feldman, "Carolyn"
Feldman's Carolyn is simply a victim of her ineptitude. She can't express herself clearly, and that leads to her being misunderstood by everyone but the song's protagonist--whose solution, mind you, is to quietly shush her and reject her attempts for understanding. That being said, it's a sensitive portrayal of a fragile Carolyn, and she's given a lot more motivation for her "craziness." In the end, while he acknowledges that "it's not easy" to be with Carolyn, especially when she says things "wrong," the protagonist eventually volunteers to sit with her, and perhaps weather the storms.
The next two "Carolyn" characters are not so well understood:
Just before you go today
There's something that I've got to say
Well you asked me what was wrong
And I didn't want to tell you
You believed me when I said I tried
But oh, Carolyn, I lied
And it's gone on far too long
And I never tried to help you
But don't wait up for me
Just don't wait up for me
--The Wedding Present, "Carolyn"
Well. The responsibility for the dissolution of this relationship must all rest on Carolyn's shoulders. I mean, she attempted to get more information, and she believed what she heard. Also, she "waits" faithfully, presumably for someone to help her. None of this happens, as the protagonist of the song is to wrapped-up in jamming to this low-fi beat to hear her needs, and when he realizes just how far he's mislead her, he bails. However, he does not do so before placing the burden of change on Carolyn's actions--by asking her to not wait up for him. Her abandonment of her faithful habits will signal the true end of the pairing. In the protagonist's mind, Carolyn is the one that needs to change--not that he tried to do so for her, or anything.
But that's all fine and dandy, compared to Merle Haggard's Western treatment of Carolyn.
Carolyn let me tell you what I've heard about a man today
He didn't come home from work and he went away
Till he came to a city bright in the night time like day
There they say he met up with some women dressed in yellow and scarlet
Their warm lips like a honeycomb dripped with honey
Somethin' about the smell of strange perfume made him feel warm and not alone
Yes Carolyn a man will do that sometimes on his own and sometimes when he's lonely
And I believe that man might do that sometimes out of spite
But Carolyn a man will do that always when he's treated bad at home
--Merle Haggard, "Carolyn"
Well, it seems that 'ole Carolyn's man went into town and found himself a hussy. While Haggard allows for the man's motivation to range from loneliness to spite--he seems more likely o point to Carolyn's poor treatment of her man. It's her fault that he cheats on her--she drove him to it. Mind you, Haggard's not so much concerned with pointing out what it was that Carolyn did to her man that made him behave this way, but rather to caution her to stop abusing him so that he'll stop abusing hussies.
Wow. This is why I shy away from country music--especially when it "treats me (and my kind) bad."
And don't try to say the right thing,
'cause it'll come out wrong.
And don't try to take my hand,
because you know we don't belong
together.
Carolyn, we don't belong.
--Lee Feldman, "Carolyn"
Feldman's Carolyn is simply a victim of her ineptitude. She can't express herself clearly, and that leads to her being misunderstood by everyone but the song's protagonist--whose solution, mind you, is to quietly shush her and reject her attempts for understanding. That being said, it's a sensitive portrayal of a fragile Carolyn, and she's given a lot more motivation for her "craziness." In the end, while he acknowledges that "it's not easy" to be with Carolyn, especially when she says things "wrong," the protagonist eventually volunteers to sit with her, and perhaps weather the storms.
The next two "Carolyn" characters are not so well understood:
Just before you go today
There's something that I've got to say
Well you asked me what was wrong
And I didn't want to tell you
You believed me when I said I tried
But oh, Carolyn, I lied
And it's gone on far too long
And I never tried to help you
But don't wait up for me
Just don't wait up for me
--The Wedding Present, "Carolyn"
Well. The responsibility for the dissolution of this relationship must all rest on Carolyn's shoulders. I mean, she attempted to get more information, and she believed what she heard. Also, she "waits" faithfully, presumably for someone to help her. None of this happens, as the protagonist of the song is to wrapped-up in jamming to this low-fi beat to hear her needs, and when he realizes just how far he's mislead her, he bails. However, he does not do so before placing the burden of change on Carolyn's actions--by asking her to not wait up for him. Her abandonment of her faithful habits will signal the true end of the pairing. In the protagonist's mind, Carolyn is the one that needs to change--not that he tried to do so for her, or anything.
But that's all fine and dandy, compared to Merle Haggard's Western treatment of Carolyn.
Carolyn let me tell you what I've heard about a man today
He didn't come home from work and he went away
Till he came to a city bright in the night time like day
There they say he met up with some women dressed in yellow and scarlet
Their warm lips like a honeycomb dripped with honey
Somethin' about the smell of strange perfume made him feel warm and not alone
Yes Carolyn a man will do that sometimes on his own and sometimes when he's lonely
And I believe that man might do that sometimes out of spite
But Carolyn a man will do that always when he's treated bad at home
--Merle Haggard, "Carolyn"
Well, it seems that 'ole Carolyn's man went into town and found himself a hussy. While Haggard allows for the man's motivation to range from loneliness to spite--he seems more likely o point to Carolyn's poor treatment of her man. It's her fault that he cheats on her--she drove him to it. Mind you, Haggard's not so much concerned with pointing out what it was that Carolyn did to her man that made him behave this way, but rather to caution her to stop abusing him so that he'll stop abusing hussies.
Wow. This is why I shy away from country music--especially when it "treats me (and my kind) bad."